I get this dreaded question on a weekly basis from my followers. I know the fear it can strike in the hearts of mothers when their toddler suddenly stops napping. It causes us to go into catastrophe mode and worry that they will never ever nap again! But, I’m here to bring some calm, reason, and helpful tips to you. Most likely your toddler is NOT done napping- seriously. So don’t freak out, and let’s talk through some basics like: when you can expect your toddler to stop napping for good, what causes nap refusals, how to get your toddler back to napping, and (worse case scenario) what to do if the nap is gone for good.

 

What age do children stop napping?

Every child is different, of course- but I typically find that a majority of children will stop napping between 3-5 years of age. This is a wide range but here’s where you get to use your experience as your child’s parent to help you fine tune this range. If your child has typically had low sleep needs, then it’s likely they will drop their nap on the early side of this range- around 3 years. If your child has typically had high sleep needs, then you can expect them to drop their nap closer to 5 years. If your child has seemed pretty average and follows typical wake windows and sleep schedules, then they will probably fall smack dab in the center around 4 years.

 

Now, what do I mean by low and high sleep needs? If your child has lower sleep needs, then they get less sleep in a 24 hour period than their peers. However, and this is a BIG point, they still seem well-rested and they are getting plenty of sleep for their body. This is such a big point because I often talk to families who think they have a low sleep needs child but the child is clearly not getting enough sleep. They are tired, cranky, wake up in a bad mood constantly, and simply don’t know how to get the sleep their body needs. 

 

These are usually families who have not worked on healthy sleep habits and therefore their child is constantly fighting sleep not because they don’t need it, but because they’ve been conditioned to fight sleep over the months and years. Keep this in mind as you try to assess whether your child is really done napping or not.

 

What causes nap refusal?

Nap resistance and refusal can come about for all kinds of different reasons. 

• Sometimes it’s directly related to the arrival (or impending arrival) of a new sibling. This can be a big change for your toddler and is likely to throw off sleep for a time as they adjust. 
• Sometimes it’s connected to the crib to bed transition. This transition can be a doozy for many families and the challenges it presents can bleed over into nap time. Read more about handling this transition here.
• Sometimes it’s simply par for the course with toddlers. Toddlers are learning to be independent, they are learning that they can “No,” and they are constantly testing boundaries. Resistance at nap time is no exception to this. Check out more about Toddler Sleep and Why It Sucks if this sounds familiar.
• Sometimes a schedule tweak is overdue and by making small changes to the sleep schedule, the resistance will dissipate. At this age, it’s important to anchor the nap at a specific time each day. Right around 1pm is good for most little ones between 2-5 years. If your child tends to sleep in past 7am in the morning, you may need to shift nap time later than 1pm.

 

How do I get my toddler to keep napping?

The biggest piece of advice I want to offer here is CONSISTENCY. Without it, you will continue to have sleep issues. Consistency is so incredibly important for our testing toddlers and preschoolers. 

 

This means that nap time is still offered every single day- regardless of whether your toddler naps or not. Many parents get tripped up by thinking they need to “make” their toddler nap. But that thinking gets us into trouble. You can’t “make” your toddler nap anymore than you can make them like the pink cup or use an inside voice. You cannot control when your toddler falls asleep, how long it takes them to fall asleep, or how long they sleep. What you CAN control are the boundaries you create around sleep time, their sleep environment, the timing of sleep, and the consistency with which you offer all these things.

 

When your child resists their nap, simply continue to offer their nap time each and every day. Give them warnings about impending nap time, do your nap time routine, narrate and validate their big feelings about not wanting to nap, and hold the boundary. They don’t have to sleep during nap time. In fact, I encourage families not to say, “Go to sleep. You need to sleep now.” and instead just tell your little one, “It’s okay if you’re not tired, just rest your body.”

 

Have a set amount of time (I recommend 45 minutes minimum) that you keep your child in their crib or room during nap time and if they aren’t asleep when that time is up, then you can get them up and go on with your day. Don’t focus on the fact that they didn’t nap. Instead say something like, “Good job resting your body. I know it’s hard to do sometimes. Now that nap time is over, let’s play.”

 

By doing these things, you are keeping the framework of nap time in place so that when their brain is done resisting and when their body needs the sleep, they will be able to settle and fall asleep for nap time again!

 

What do I do while I wait for my toddler to start napping again?

This may take a couple days or a couple weeks for your toddler to start napping again. That’s okay. This is a normal part of toddlerhood. Even once they start napping again, you may have days here and there where they stay awake the whole nap time.

 

On the days where your toddler doesn’t nap, you’ll want to offer bedtime earlier than usual. This is to help them “make up” for the lost nap sleep and keep them from becoming overtired. A good general rule of thumb is to allow 12 hours of overnight sleep for a toddler or preschooler who skips their nap. That means if your toddler typically wakes up at 6:30am, you will want to put bedtime at 6:30pm in order to allow their body the chance to get the rest they need.

 

What if the nap is gone forever? 

In some cases, your child will be done napping forever. And I know that can be a really hard pill to swallow. However, just because your child no longer needs a midday nap, that doesn’t mean your child no longer needs a midday rest. I strongly encourage parents to offer a daily quiet time (screen-free) once the nap is gone. This gives the child a chance to rest and practice independent play and it gives parents a time to decompress and rest too. I wrote more extensively here about developing a quiet time.

 

I know this can be an incredibly challenging time in toddlerhood but try to remain calm and patient. Whatever comes, with the right attitude and follow through, you'll get through this! Take this tidbit with you as you go: You can do hard things & so can your child! 

 

Struggling with daycare naps? Is your baby enrolled in daycare and you were just informed that they are moving up to the toddler room and switching to a 1 nap schedule? And you’re thinking, “But they’re only 10 months! They can’t handle 1 nap!” 

 

Well fortunately (and unfortunately), you’re not alone if you’re experiencing this. I see daycare nap struggles often with families and it can be so incredibly frustrating. I wanted to put together this post with 5 tips to help you navigate this annoying (and sometimes sleepless) situation.

 

Daycare nap tip #1: Take a deep breath

I know you may be freaking out right now but the first thing we need to do is breathe. This is a problem for sure, but we aren't going to be able to solve it if we aren't thinking calmly and clearly. This is a challenge but it's not a hopeless situation. So before you move on to implementing tip #2, make sure you have a clear head.

 

Daycare nap tip #2: Communicate & get creative

See if you can set up a meeting or call with your daycare teachers and/or director. Explain your concerns to them about this early transition to 1 nap. Some important points to bring up would be:

• Most babies aren't capable of handling a 1 nap schedule until 14+ months of age
• The transition to 1 nap will require an early bedtime to help your baby recoup the lost sleep and that will make your evening family time shorter than you'd like
• Transitioning to 1 nap too early can lead to over-tiredness and early wakings. This keeps the overtired cycle going

After expressing your concerns about this transition, ask if there is a way you can work together to keep your child on a 2 nap schedule for longer. Try to get creative. If your child is being forced to a 1 nap schedule because of a move to an older room, ask if that move can be held off a few more months. If it can't, can your baby be moved back into the infant room during nap times? Directly ask if there is any way that your child can still be offered a morning nap in some way, shape, or form. Something is better than nothing here.

For more details on communicating baby's sleep needs with your caregivers, check out this blog.

 

Daycare nap tip #3: Let go of what you can't control

After communicating with daycare, you may realize that there is no compromise and there is no way in which they can honor your child's sleep needs. If this is the case, we've reached the "let it go" part. This is important for your mental health. Focus on the things you *can* control when it comes to your baby's sleep and let go of the things you *can't* control. If daycare naps are one of those things outside of your control, then it's time to stop stressing and ruminating on it.

Move on to tip #4 for ways you can try to combat this early nap transition.

 

Daycare nap tip #4: Avoid over-tiredness on your end

Now that your child is moving to 1 nap at daycare, here are my suggestions for handling sleep at home:

• Your baby will be more tired for a while. Try to offer an early bedtime on daycare days. Ideally I'd aim for about 5 hours of awake time between the end of daycare nap and the time you are laying them in the crib at bedtime. For example, if nap ends at 2pm, then aim for bedtime at 7pm. If they seem tired earlier than that, then follow their lead and put them down sooner. Even as early as 6pm may be exactly what they need!
• On the weekends (or any day your child is home with you) continue to offer 2 naps a day like usual. Some parents worry that this will be confusing for baby or throw them off but it's actually essential. Depending on the age of your child, you may continue to offer 2 naps a day on the weekend for months- and that's okay!
• Some night wakings and early wakings will pop up during this time. Do your best to remain consistent in your responses at night. Avoid adding night feeds back in or over-helping. If your child already has the skills to fall asleep on their own, lean on those skills and give them the space to work through those wakings on their own.

 

Daycare nap tip #5: Stay hopeful

If this transition ends up being really rough for your baby and your family, take heart! I know it's hard and frustrating and tiring but it's also just a season. It won't remain like this forever and before you know it, your baby will be older and able to handle 1 nap much better.

Stay hopeful thinking about the future when nap schedules won't feel as make or break. You WILL get there- I promise!

 

Need more help navigating sleep in general? I help tired moms who are overwhelmed by conflicting sleep advice to confidently sleep train. And I do it by providing affordable, personalized, and experienced sleep support. Start here by scheduling a free call.

We've all heard this piece of advice before, "Never wake a sleeping baby!" and as a sleep consultant I've gotten appalled looks when I confess you actually SHOULD wake a sleeping baby sometimes. I thought it'd be helpful to lay out all the reasons and situations where waking a sleeping baby is the right move. Keep reading to find out 4 times you should wake a sleeping baby.

 

Time #1 you should wake a sleeping baby: When you have a newborn sleeping long stretches during the day but not at night

Maybe you have a newborn who is up hourly at night but then daytime comes and they will sleep these big long stretches. Yikes! That's the opposite of what we want!

With newborns, this is usually due to the fact that their circadian rhythm hasn't yet developed (this starts happening around 8-12 weeks) and therefore they really have no clue what's day and what's night. To help them figure this out, our biggest tool is... you guessed it- waking them up during the day!

Daytime naps should be limited to 2 hours during the newborn phase and then baby needs to be woken up, fed, and kept awake for at least a short period of time before you let them fall back asleep. This will be hard work at first but totally worth the extra effort in the end, I promise.

Really struggling with your newborn's sleep? Check out my newborn sleep resources here.

 

Time #2 you should wake a sleeping baby: When your baby is sleeping crappy at night and then making up for it during the day with long, luxurious naps

Similar to #1, but this also applies to babies and toddlers. If they aren't getting good quality night sleep, they may try to make up for it by sleeping A LOT during the day. And if we aren't willing to wake them from naps, it will be really hard to break out of this cycle.

So first order of business is to start capping some those daytime naps so that they can build sleep pressure to sleep more during the night. This will also help you fit in necessary daytime feedings so that nighttime isn't when the bulk of their calories is happening. Download my free nap guide for more details on age-appropriate wake windows and how much daytime sleep is actually necessary.

After you start to shorten their daytime sleep, if you are still struggling with crappy nights, it's time to get to the root issue. Are they sleeping poorly at night because they haven't learned how to regulate their own sleep yet? Is the help you provide to get them to sleep actually hindering their sleep because they can't recreate it?

If you're thinking sleep coaching is the next step, check out my Sleep Coaching Crash Course For Babies- the affordable sleep course for tired moms who just want to stop stressing about sleep!

 

Time #3 you should wake a sleeping baby: When you need to stabilize the schedule

If you have a child who will wake up super late in the morning (8am or later) and then it throws your whole day off, then waking them in the morning to start their day is necessary. 

Not only does have a consistent morning wake up time help you plan your day, it also helps their internal body clock to have that consistency day in and day out.

I always recommend having a 30 minute wake up range that you follow each and everyday. That could mean 6-6:30am or 6:30-7am, or 7:30-8am- you decide what works best for your family and your child. But then following that wake up range means you don't start your child's day before the early time and you wake them up if they are still sleeping at the later time.

If you have a child who is sleeping in late in the morning and it's making naps difficult and pushing bedtime way later than you'd like, then it absolutely makes sense to wake that sleeping baby!

 

Time #4 you should wake a sleeping baby: When you are close to a nap transition but not quite there yet

Over the course of your child's life you'll go through several nap transitions. These can be tricky but the key to making them successful is that you don't want to rush into them. The longer you can hold them off, the smoother they will go.

That's where waking a sleeping baby comes into play. Maybe you have a champion napper (which is great!) but now you're struggling to fit in that 3rd nap and it's really throwing a wrench in the schedule. You know that your child isn't really ready for a 2 nap schedule yet because they can't last 3 hours in between naps but you also can't seem to fit all three naps plus 4 wake windows in AND have bedtime not be ridiculously late.

It's okay to cap some of your baby's naps in order to make this 3 nap schedule work a little longer until they are more ready for the transition. Sit down and do some quick math. Count backward from your ideal bedtime and figure out what time you need to wake your child from each nap in order to fit everything in. Then take a deep breath and go for it!

Oh, I also get asked this question a lot when it comes to micromanaging a nap schedule like this: "Will this discourage my baby from taking longer naps when they do transition to less naps?" And the answer is no! You won't get your baby *stuck* at shorter naps by waking them now for a period of time.

Already stressing about future nap transition? Check out my Nap Transition Guide which walks you through everything you need to know for all the major nap transitions.

 

 

For more help with your child's sleep, Everything Page. Here I offer freebies, courses, and 1:1 services for each age group!

So you think you're headed for a nap transition, huh? Well, before you jump in, here are three things I wish EVERY parent knew before making the move to drop a nap. Let's dive in!

As a quick aside, if you are ready for a nap transition, I highly recommend checking out my comprehensive Nap Schedules & Transitions Bundle which walks you step by step through each of the different nap transitions your child will have.

 

1. Is your child the right age for a nap transition?

First things first. Is your child at the right age for a nap transition? Or are they too young to drop the nap that extra nap? If you try to transition them before they are fully ready and capable, you will end up with a tired and cranky baby who will start to sleep even worse! Transitions work best when they happen at the ideal ages.

Here are some general guidelines I like to use for seeing if baby is the right age for a nap transition:

• 4 to 3 naps should happen around 4-5 months
• 3 to 2 naps should happen around 7-9 months
• 2 to 1 naps should happen around 15-18 months
• 1 to 0 naps should happen around 3-5 years

If your child is not within a week or two of these lower end ages, then you are either jumping the gun or you're dealing with a different root cause of your sleep issues. There is no rush to drop a nap!

 

2. Is your child exhibiting these signs of being ready for a nap transition?

Look for these signs that your baby is needing to drop a nap:

• More frequent night wakings than usual
• Shorter naps than usual
• Early wakings than usual
• More difficulty falling asleep

These are all signs that your baby could be needing to drop a nap. However, I want you be able to see patterns with these signs rather than just having this happen a handful of times over several weeks. As a general rule of thumb, these signs should be happening about 50% of the time AND causing issues with sleep and mood, especially before you take the leap early.

I repeat- there is no rush to drop a nap!

3. Do you have a plan for handling sleep disruptions during a nap transition?

Before you even think about going through a nap transition, you need to have a plan in place. Have it in your mind, talk about it with your partner, maybe even write it down if that will help!

Your child's sleep will be disturbed during a nap transition. There is no magical way around this. So it's vital that you know how you will handle extra night wakings, short naps, overtiredness, etc. BEFORE it even happens.

If you've previously sleep trained, I recommend pulling your sleep coaching method out of your back pocket and applying it during this time. If you choose to assist your child to sleep during these extra disruptions, that is always fine. Just make sure you're honest with yourself about the habits you may be introducing. My rule of thumb is to avoid introducing habits you don't want to continue long term. Otherwise, you'll just have to make habit changes later on!

 

 

Alright, those are the top things I want you to know before you go through a nap transition!

 

Gearing up for your next nap transition? Then this blog is for you!

 

What are signs that I should drop a nap?

First off is age. Transitions work best when they happen at the following ages:

4 to 3 naps at 4 months

3 to 2 naps between 7 and 9 months

2 to 1 naps between 15 and 18 months

1 to 0 naps between 3 and 5 years

 

Secondly, here are some signs once you're within the recommended age range:

1. Unusual night wakings
2. Earlier morning wake ups than usual
3. Inability to fall asleep for some or all naps
4. Waking up happy from short naps
5. Struggling to offer enough awake time between sleeps while also keeping bedtime before 8pm

 

Now, we like to see a pattern with these 5 signs rather than just a random weird night here or there. If things are going well for the most part, then there’s no reason to drop a nap ASAP! 

How do I drop a nap?

4 naps to 3 naps (At 4 months)

This is probably the easiest transition you’ll go through! It will involve moving bedtime quite a bit earlier to account for the lost nap and this can be hard, especially if you’re dealing with short naps (be sure to check out my free guide for short naps!)

 

Things to know for this transition:

✩Start by stretching your wake windows. 

✩Once you’ve maxed out your wake windows at roughly 1.75-2 hours, then it’s time to make the switch and drop nap 4.

✩Bedtime may be after 8pm before the transition and as early as 6pm after the transition, this is okay!

 

3 naps to 2 naps (At 7-9 months)

This transition isn’t quite as easy as 4 to 3 but it’s still fairly straight forward. It can get a bit messier because I find that nap 3 can be pretty elusive as you get closer to this transition. If you find yourself in a pattern of consistently missing nap 3, it might be time!

 

Things to know for this transition:

✩Start by stretching your wake windows.

✩Once you’ve maxed out your wake windows at roughly 2.5-2.75 hours, then it’s time to make the switch and drop nap 3.

✩There may be some flip-flopping between 2 and 3 nap days and that’s okay. But if it persists past 7-10 days, then I’d commit to 2 nap days and push through

✩Again, bedtime will be on the later end right before the transition and then jump to early right after the transition. This gives them the chance to make up for the lost nap and to recover from the longer wake windows

2 naps to 1 nap (At 15-18 months)

This one is the BIG one! Such a big transition for your little one and this transition will take time. Buckle up for 2-4 weeks of transitioning and rougher than usual sleep. The goal with this transition is to be prepared and do it slowly.

 

Things to know for this transition:

✩Hitting 15 months does not mean that you HAVE to transition. If sleep is going fine, then don’t rush it.

✩You’ll start by pushing nap 1 later and later.

✩Once nap 1 is ending late enough, that’s when you’ll cut out the second nap completely.

✩Again, bedtime will be on the later end right before the transition and then jump to early right after the transition. This gives them the chance to make up for the lost nap and to recover from the longer wake windows

 

1 nap to no nap (At 3-5 years)

This is the transition that I find happens more naturally. We REALLY want to keep that nap until at least 3 years of age, so if you find yourself with a 2 year old who is trying to drop their nap, it’s probably more related to limit testing than them being physically ready to drop it. Be sure to check out my blog about Toddler Sleep And Why It Sucks if this is you!

 

Things to know for this transition:

✩For a while you may flip flop between nap days and no nap days, this is totally okay! Go with it!

✩On no nap days, don’t be afraid to pull bedtime earlier to make up for the lack of a nap.

✩On nap days, it’s okay to wake them from their nap in order to make bedtime easier. Ideally we’d want their nap ending by 3pm but you can cut it off earlier if you need to!

✩Even once the nap is gone, you still want to keep a daily quiet time in place. See this post for a more detailed overview of how to introduce quiet time for your preschooler.

 

Hope this was helpful and don’t forget, for children who are independent sleepers already, I offer nap transition calls so that you don’t have to go through this alone!