Ahhh hindsight, my beautiful friend! 😅 Looking back, I can’t help but chuckle at my naivete when I became a new parent. If only I had a handy list of essential sleep lessons before my first baby arrived, it would have saved me so much stress, guilt, and endless second-guessing.

When I first stepped into parenthood, I decided to just “wing it,” based on exactly zero research. I thought I’d figure it all out as I went along… but how wrong I was! 🥲 What actually unfolded was a whirlwind of sleepless nights, an overwhelming sense of dread and anxiety about sleep, and a perpetually exhausted and irritable baby.

Eventually, after much trial and error, I learned these five key lessons that turned things around for us. Trust me, knowing these before my baby arrived would have made all the difference!

 

1. It's okay to want better sleep for yourself too

As new parents, it’s easy to feel guilty about prioritizing sleep. But here’s the truth: a well-rested parent is a better parent. Period. When you’re well-rested, you have more patience, clearer thinking, and the ability to be more present and attuned for your little one. A client recently described this as baby-life balance. Everything can't be all about the baby at the expense of the parents. If it is, the effects of neglecting yourself *will* eventually trickle down to your baby. There is nothing selfish about getting the sleep you need.

 

2. Consistency is the secret sauce

I quickly learned that success comes from sticking to a plan. When my husband or I tried to make sleep adjustments, we were really just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what would stick. But we never tried anything long enough to see it through and actually give it time to work! The best sleep training method is the one you can commit to consistently. Whether it’s a bedtime routine or a sleep training strategy, consistency helps your baby understand what to expect, making it easier for them to settle into sleep. This is a great quick read if you find yourself struggling with consistency and you feel like you've "tried everything."

 

3. Your child will adapt—trust their resilience

I wish I had known how adaptable babies really are! When you're a first time parent, you feel like your baby is so fragile and vulnerable. And don't get me wrong- babies need constant love and care but they are also extremely resilient. They are learning and growing and changing so quickly when their little and the good part of that is they are able to handle sleep changes you want to help them with. With the right sleep habits, they can adjust and thrive. Your little one is resilient, and with patience and encouragement, they’ll find their groove. Believe in their ability to adapt!

 

4. Sleep regressions are a normal part of progress

Setbacks don’t automatically mean failure! Baby sleep isn’t linear; it's good to expect ups and downs along the way. Sleep regressions are common, especially during growth spurts and developmental milestones. Instead of getting discouraged, remember that these phases are often temporary and can be navigated with the right strategies. Plus, we want to look on these developmental changes as a positive sign (how great is it that my baby is developing into the person they will be one day?!) instead of have a woe is my attitude that the deck is stacked against us. If you're in the thick of sleep regressions right now, check out my low-down on the most common sleep regressions here.

 

5. You don’t have to do it alone

Asking for help doesn’t make you weak! That goes for tagging your partner in (which is oh so important), accepting help from your in-laws (who may not do everything exactly as you do), or even from hiring a professional to help you navigate sleep. In fact, support from a sleep consultant or coach can make all the difference in your journey to better sleep. Don’t hesitate to seek guidance when you need it—having someone to lean on can bring confidence and calmness to the process. And don't feel guilty about the ways you managed baby sleep when you were stuck in survival mode. As a sleep consultant, trust me, I've seen it all and I will never judge you or your situation. What matters is that you've reached the point where you're ready to get out of survival mode and work towards more sustainable sleep habits. 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to begin, I’m here to guide you every step of the way! Let’s work together on a personalized sleep plan that fits your family’s needs. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone; support is just a message away! 🌙

 

Ready to tackle your current sleep issues? I'm here to offer a solution. 

Look no further than my affordable Classic Consultation:

With the Classic Consultation you can get accessible sleep help to confidently sleep train without all the second guessing! Imagine doing your bedtime routine, kissing your baby goodnight, walking out of the room + knowing that your baby will sleep long stretches at night and both of you will wake up feeling refreshed!

 

So if you're ready to stop feeling stuck, it's time to own your hard, commit to change & better sleep, and head over to check out the Classic Consultation today: https://allthesleeps.com/sleep-plan

Trust me on this you guys, don’t make this transition from bassinet to crib more complicated than you need to! There is very little difference between your little one sleeping in a bassinet and a crib. Figure out when you’re going to do it, prep for it, and then do it. Give your baby some grace while they adjust and you’ll be just fine!

Why make the transition from bassinet to crib?

The bassinet is a great safe sleep space for your newborn (though it’s also perfectly safe to put your baby in a crib or pack n play from day 1 as well). Oftentimes, families who use a bassinet decide to transition out because they want to move their child to their own room and don’t have room for a crib in their room OR because their child has outgrown the limits of the bassinet.

It’s really important to read your bassinet manual and see when it says to move baby out of the bassinet. Depending on the brand, it may have a weight limit or a skill limit (able to roll/crawl) so be sure to check your individual manual for the safest limits. 

To read more about room sharing and baby sleep safety, see this post: Room Sharing with Baby: Tips to Make it Work

How to make the transition from bassinet to crib?

I want to reiterate, don’t make this more complicated or stressful than it needs to be. There will be very little difference between the bassinet and the crib. If you’re moving your baby from their bassinet in your room to their crib in their nursery, you can move the bassinet into that room for a couple days before you transition to the crib.

It’s also worth taking the crib sheet that you will be using and getting it to smell familiar before that first night. This may mean laying it on the floor and doing tummy time with baby on it during the day. Or taking the sheet and stuffing it down your shirt for an hour or so before putting it on the crib mattress. This just helps to add another layer of familiarity for baby.

If you are really nervous about this transition or you find your baby does really struggle, you can use the bassinet halfway through the night if needed. Then keep pushing forward so that within a few nights your baby is sleeping 100% of the night in their crib.

Other tips for the transition from bassinet to crib:

Avoid introducing crib bumpers when you switch to a crib. These are not safe (yes, even mesh ones are unsafe). Your baby will adjust to the crib slats and being able to move around more. Bonking their head or limbs on the crib (while unpleasant) is not going to do any lasting damage and is not worth the risk of using bumpers.

If worse comes to worse and you’ve given your baby a week or two to adjust and they just keep getting stuck in the crib slats, switch to a pack n play until they are better in control of their body. This is a simple fix as many families already have a pack n play for travel purposes and there is no issue with a child sleeping exclusively in a pack n play. 

 

 

White noise can make such a difference when it comes to your child's sleep. But with it's use comes a lot of questions and concerns. This post is designed to answer the most common questions I get about white noise so you can make an informed decision for your family.

*This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my privacy and disclosure statement for more information.

 

Why use white noise to sleep and not lullabies?

I always recommend true white noise over crashing waves, rain sounds, or even calming music. But why? Because true white noise is meant to block out stimulating sounds. The sound isn’t changing if you use true white noise. But if you use any of those other options, there are changes that you can hear.

 

Our brains are always processing stimuli, even when asleep. These changes can be stimulating and if your child is in a lighter stage of sleep, these changes may even stimulate their brain enough to pull them out of sleep. That’s obviously NOT what we want! So I always prefer to use white noise so we know that it is working for us and not against us with sleep. 

 

Is pink noise and brown noise the same as white noise?

Pink and brown noise work just as well as white noise when it comes to sleep. White noise is made by using all the frequencies at once. Pink noise lowers the highest frequencies a bit and brown noise lowers them even further.

 

Many people actually prefer pink and brown noise over white noise because it sounds less harsh. No matter which color you choose, all will help block out stimulating sounds and help your baby fall asleep quicker and have better quality of sleep.

 

How loud is too loud for white noise to sleep?

As a parent, this question can be a hard one to find an answer to! Right off the bat, we know that prolonged listening to 85 decibels or higher can cause hearing damage so we want to stay away from that high decibel level.

 

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends using 50 decibels of less in a hospital setting. I recommend that you use a decibel level around 60-65. Here’s why:

1. 60 decibels is about the level of normal everyday conversation. Your baby is used to this level of decibels on a daily basis. When you realize that normal conversation happens at this level, you can see how it’s not going to be harmful to the ears. Our ears were designed to communicate with each other frequently!
2. The recommendation of 50 decibels in a hospital setting is just that. It’s meant for hospitals where machines are beeping, people are coming in and out of patient rooms frequently, and there’s lots of different voices and chit chat. That is obviously a very different setting from your child’s quiet room when there is only white noise playing.
3. 60-65 decibels is still far below the upper limit of 85 decibels (which for reference could sound like a hair dryer or blender or lawn mower).

 

Won’t my child become dependent on white noise to sleep?

Yes, they likely will! But just like with any sleep habit (rocking to sleep, pacifier use, etc) we can make changes. If you don’t want your child to use white noise forever, you can change it at any time! Or you can wait until they are old enough to request to change it themselves.

 

I hear from parents a lot that they have this fear of dependency for sleep but honestly, it’s not a huge deal. White noise can easily be transported with your family for when you travel. Even if you forget your white noise, I’m willing to bet you’ve got an extra device with you that can play white noise from an app.

 

On top of that, we don’t seem to place the same fear of dependency on things like pillows and night lights and comfy blankets. So I think it really comes down to whether you believe the research that shows white noise improves the quality of sleep. If you do, then why would we consider it a bad thing to use for sleep?

 

When should my child stop using white noise to sleep?

Because white noise improves our quality of sleep, even most adults could benefit from sleeping with white noise so you don’t necessarily have to wean your child off! But, if you are really set on weaning your child off of white noise at some point in the future, I recommend waiting until after 3-4 years of age so that you’ve passed most of the big sleep transitions and milestones (toddler sleep, crib to bed transition, dropping naps, new siblings being added, etc). When you get to that point, you can just turn the volume down a little bit each night until it’s gone! Easy breezy.

 

Can white noise to sleep cause developmental delays or processing problems?

This question is rampant right now online and on social media. But let me ease your mind on this one, there is nothing in the research that shows correlation between white noise use for sleep time and any kind of delay or disorder. And if there isn’t even correlational evidence, then there certainly isn’t causal evidence either.

 

Most of the studies I’ve seen people incorrectly cite about these concerns are based on rats being exposed to white noise 24/7 and often at a much higher decibel level (85+) than is ever recommended. Of course there would be an issue if your child was subjected to high levels of white noise all the time. This would obviously negatively impact their ability to hear and process language and therefore their ability to communicate effectively. But that is a far cry from using it during sleep time only and at normal decibel levels.

 

If you see this claim being made, I’d encourage you to ask for the peer-reviewed research, then go and read it, and you’ll see that none of these claims have anything to do with using white noise responsibly for sleep.

 

Wanna know more about white noise? Check out my other white noise blog: White noise: Why it’s a non-negotiable for sleep. And head here to see the white noise machines I personally use and recommend.

 

Need more help than just white noise? Check out my resources for various ages:

Whether you have a little baby or a preschooler, you may be experiencing tears at bedtime right now. As frustrating as it is, I want to encourage you that this can be totally normal and there are several reasons WHY your child may be feeling some big emotions come bedtime.

Let's look at 4 things they might be telling you with their tears...

 

Reason #1 why baby cries at bedtime:

"I'm overtired."

Is it possible you missed their window before bed and accidentally kept them up too long? Or did they have a pretty crappy nap day? That window before bed can be pretty sensitive so if you are noticing lots of crying at bedtime, try pulling bedtime 15-30 minutes earlier and see if that helps!

Your child is struggling with sleep (night wakings, fighting sleep, short naps, cranky & overtired all the time, etc). You can accept that this is where you're at right now and embrace it. This will be temporary. Some day your child will sleep better. You can choose for this to be your hard and go with it. Accept it and stop letting it plague your every thought and emotion.

 

Reason #2 why baby cries at bedtime:

"I'm adjusting to some type of change."

Are you still in the early days of sleep coaching? Or maybe your nightly routine is often in flux and so your child is constantly having to re-adapt to change. Either way, crying may be their way of communicating to you that this change is hard. Is hard bad? No. But if you feel you aren't being fair by being inconsistent, it's never too late to change that!

 

Reason #3 why baby cries at bedtime:

"I don't want to stop playing or hanging out with you!"

This plays off the last one a bit. Your little one is smart so even if you have a consistent bedtime routine, they understand that sleep time is coming. And they may not like that. They may have big feelings about this transition from play to sleep and they will probably express those. This is both healthy and normal.

It would be great to have no tears at all as we transition from one activity to the next but we also know that's not realistic with children. Allow the feelings to flow. Support as needed.

 

Reason #4 why baby cries at bedtime:

"I need an emotional release so I can relax and fall asleep."

Did you know that crying can actually release stress? Crying triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which can restore the body to a calm and composed state. Contrary to what many today will tell you, crying is not inherently bad. Crying is a great natural way for the body to relieve stress and slow down. This could just be a natural part of your child's wind-down process and therefore no reason to stress!

 

 

😢I get it. We all hate when our children cry. But crying is a way to express emotions. Having emotions is part of living and breathing. These are not bad experiences. They are healthy and normal.

👉Repeat this with me: "My child's crying does not reflect on me as a parent. It does not mean I am not loving and responsive. It means my child has feelings and is expressing them."

 

Ready to tackle your current sleep issues? I'm here to offer a solution. 

Look no further than my affordable Classic Consultation:

With the Classic Consultation you can get accessible sleep help to confidently sleep train without all the second guessing! Imagine doing your bedtime routine, kissing your baby goodnight, walking out of the room + knowing that your baby will sleep long stretches at night and both of you will wake up feeling refreshed!

 

So if you're ready to stop feeling stuck, it's time to own your hard, commit to change & better sleep, and head over to check out the Classic Consultation today: https://allthesleeps.com/sleep-plan

Recently, I had a call with a mom and she expressed to me that if we worked together, her husband wouldn't be available to help with night wakings because he had to go to work during the day and she didn't- she just stayed home with the kids. Plus she had been handling all the night wakings to this point because she exclusively breastfed so there was nothing her husband could do anyways. 

 

This mom was also *drowning* in sleeplessness and desperately in need of help. She spent much of the conversation on the verge of tears because of her sleep deprivation and how much she felt she was failing as a new mother.

 

I wish I could say that this was a first for me but unfortunately I talk to moms who feel this exhausted and frustrated and without help all the time. 

 

I want to share my tips for how your non-nursing partner can help with night wakings but first, I think we need to talk about the fact that this goes way beyond breastfeeding. Even among families who use formula, there is an overwhelming number of stay at homes who “just” stay home with the kids so they become the default night parent.

 

Furthermore, there are plenty of working moms who also find themselves in the position of being the default nighttime parent simply because they are women.

So yeah. I have a little soapbox I need to get on for a quick moment, and then we will proceed with the tips below:

First off, let me lead with this (so I'm not misunderstood and so I don't come across as judgmental) ⤵️

 

👉If you and your partner have communicated and decided on a night solution that works for both parties, then it's not a problem if one parent is in charge of most night wakings.

*Full disclosure, when my second son was a newborn, I was in charge of night wakings and my husband slept in another room for a bit.*

But here's why it worked:
✨I wasn't drowning in sleeplessness. Was I tired, yes. Was I at the end of my rope at that time? Not even close.
✨ We talked about it. If I had not been comfortable with that set up, I would have objected and we would have come up with a different plan.
✨ It wasn't assumed that just because I was a stay at home, I should be the one in charge of night wakings. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

Stay at home moms, I need you to hear this: Staying home with the kids and keeping them alive and thriving is a FULL👏TIME👏JOB. Your partner working out of the house all day is not an excuse, in and of itself, to leave the nighttime parenting all on your shoulders! Full. Stop.

 

Working moms, I need you to hear this: Being on shift all day AND all night does not have to be your default! Your partner can help with nights too. I don’t care if they have to be up early for work or if they stay up too late working. They can handle night wakings too.

We cannot be afraid to open communication with our significant others and get help. Parenting doesn’t have to be a perfect 50/50 split but roles DO need to be discussed and understood and compromised and appreciated.

Maybe they don't know how much you're drowning. Maybe experiencing a night or two of what you're going through would incentivize them to help you form a plan for better sleep. 🤷‍♀️ But let's stop taking it upon ourselves to be the martyrs without asking (or demanding if it comes to that) help from our partners.

👉Also, I'll throw this in because it's a thought in my head as well... I am breaking generational cycles that have been passed down. Where the women are expected to do all the parenting and the men are expected to bring home a paycheck. I am *SO* happy that my boys will grow up seeing that their Dad is just as much their caregiver as I am. 💗

 

Anyways! Onto the tips for ways non-nursing partners can help you with night wakings…

Being a nursing mother does not have to mean you’re handling all the night wakes without help.

 

Tip #1 Split shifts at night

Typically babies can go their longest stretches of sleep in the first half of the night. So have the non-nursing partner take the first shift and handle any wakings. Then the nursing mom can be on shift for the second half of the night. You can even split things up more and have the non-nursing partner back on shift in the early am when baby might just need to be held/rocked to sleep an extra hour or so and let the nursing mom sleep in.

 

Tip #2 Split night waking duties

When baby wakes for a feed, the nursing mom can go tend to baby and feed it. Then, if the baby struggles to go back down right away, the non-nursing parent can tap in at that point and stay up until baby is asleep. This can really help the nursing mom cut down on her awake time during the night, especially if your child has trouble going back to sleep after feedings.

 

Tip #3 Opposite night waking duty split

When baby wakes for a feed, the non-nursing parent can go get the baby, change diaper if necessary, and bring the baby to mom. This will give mom a chance to set up for the feeding or spend a few extra precious minutes resting before breastfeeding.

 

Tip #4 Non-feeding wakings handled by non-nursing partner

Some babies will wake often at night, but it’s more of a habit/lack of independent sleep skill issue than a hunger issue. In these wakings, where the baby doesn’t nutritionally need a feed, the non-nursing parent can handle 100% of these. The nursing mom really only needs to be involved when the waking is out of hunger. Pro-tip: start this from a young age! It’s not unusual for babies to develop preferences to nurse/pacify back to sleep but if the non-nursing partner is handling half the wakings, it really helps to avoid this. Babies who are used to only being settled by mom and nursing, will struggle to accept comfort from the other parent. This is something you have to work at so mom doesn’t become a human pacifier.

 

Tip #5 When other children are involved...

The non-nursing parent can be in charge of any other children who are regularly waking or randomly waking at night. Depending on how you decide to split up duties, the non-nursing parent may also be in charge of bedtime for other children and handling early morning wakings as well. Like the last tip, this isn’t something that will come easily or naturally if you haven’t implemented it from day 1. But I promise you, it is worth it! Your kids deserve to see that both parents can tend to them and care for them and love them. And the nursing mom deserves to have a partner that is willing to put in the effort and help her!

 

Moms, if you're struggling with your own sleep, check out this podcast episode I recorded last year. Episode 27. Ten sleep tips for moms.

 

We've all heard this piece of advice before, "Never wake a sleeping baby!" and as a sleep consultant I've gotten appalled looks when I confess you actually SHOULD wake a sleeping baby sometimes. I thought it'd be helpful to lay out all the reasons and situations where waking a sleeping baby is the right move. Keep reading to find out 4 times you should wake a sleeping baby.

 

Time #1 you should wake a sleeping baby: When you have a newborn sleeping long stretches during the day but not at night

Maybe you have a newborn who is up hourly at night but then daytime comes and they will sleep these big long stretches. Yikes! That's the opposite of what we want!

With newborns, this is usually due to the fact that their circadian rhythm hasn't yet developed (this starts happening around 8-12 weeks) and therefore they really have no clue what's day and what's night. To help them figure this out, our biggest tool is... you guessed it- waking them up during the day!

Daytime naps should be limited to 2 hours during the newborn phase and then baby needs to be woken up, fed, and kept awake for at least a short period of time before you let them fall back asleep. This will be hard work at first but totally worth the extra effort in the end, I promise.

Really struggling with your newborn's sleep? Check out my newborn sleep resources here.

 

Time #2 you should wake a sleeping baby: When your baby is sleeping crappy at night and then making up for it during the day with long, luxurious naps

Similar to #1, but this also applies to babies and toddlers. If they aren't getting good quality night sleep, they may try to make up for it by sleeping A LOT during the day. And if we aren't willing to wake them from naps, it will be really hard to break out of this cycle.

So first order of business is to start capping some those daytime naps so that they can build sleep pressure to sleep more during the night. This will also help you fit in necessary daytime feedings so that nighttime isn't when the bulk of their calories is happening. Download my free nap guide for more details on age-appropriate wake windows and how much daytime sleep is actually necessary.

After you start to shorten their daytime sleep, if you are still struggling with crappy nights, it's time to get to the root issue. Are they sleeping poorly at night because they haven't learned how to regulate their own sleep yet? Is the help you provide to get them to sleep actually hindering their sleep because they can't recreate it?

If you're thinking sleep coaching is the next step, check out my Sleep Coaching Crash Course For Babies- the affordable sleep course for tired moms who just want to stop stressing about sleep!

 

Time #3 you should wake a sleeping baby: When you need to stabilize the schedule

If you have a child who will wake up super late in the morning (8am or later) and then it throws your whole day off, then waking them in the morning to start their day is necessary. 

Not only does have a consistent morning wake up time help you plan your day, it also helps their internal body clock to have that consistency day in and day out.

I always recommend having a 30 minute wake up range that you follow each and everyday. That could mean 6-6:30am or 6:30-7am, or 7:30-8am- you decide what works best for your family and your child. But then following that wake up range means you don't start your child's day before the early time and you wake them up if they are still sleeping at the later time.

If you have a child who is sleeping in late in the morning and it's making naps difficult and pushing bedtime way later than you'd like, then it absolutely makes sense to wake that sleeping baby!

 

Time #4 you should wake a sleeping baby: When you are close to a nap transition but not quite there yet

Over the course of your child's life you'll go through several nap transitions. These can be tricky but the key to making them successful is that you don't want to rush into them. The longer you can hold them off, the smoother they will go.

That's where waking a sleeping baby comes into play. Maybe you have a champion napper (which is great!) but now you're struggling to fit in that 3rd nap and it's really throwing a wrench in the schedule. You know that your child isn't really ready for a 2 nap schedule yet because they can't last 3 hours in between naps but you also can't seem to fit all three naps plus 4 wake windows in AND have bedtime not be ridiculously late.

It's okay to cap some of your baby's naps in order to make this 3 nap schedule work a little longer until they are more ready for the transition. Sit down and do some quick math. Count backward from your ideal bedtime and figure out what time you need to wake your child from each nap in order to fit everything in. Then take a deep breath and go for it!

Oh, I also get asked this question a lot when it comes to micromanaging a nap schedule like this: "Will this discourage my baby from taking longer naps when they do transition to less naps?" And the answer is no! You won't get your baby *stuck* at shorter naps by waking them now for a period of time.

Already stressing about future nap transition? Check out my Nap Transition Guide which walks you through everything you need to know for all the major nap transitions.

 

 

For more help with your child's sleep, Everything Page. Here I offer freebies, courses, and 1:1 services for each age group!

Baby sample sleep schedules are here! I’ve had many requests for a blog like this over the years but I have to admit, I’ve been reluctant to make it. Not because I’m sitting on some kind of top-secret information but because I’ve seen many parents stress themselves out trying to follow an arbitrary schedule online.

That is not what this is! The schedules below are simply examples. They may not work at all for your child and that is okay! These sample schedules are meant to be a guide only and not a rule book that you follow religiously.

In the examples below, I’ve made them all assuming a 6:30am wake up time because I find that to be the most common time that babies wake up. If your child wakes up later, then you’d just shift the schedule accordingly! If your child wakes up earlier and you don’t like it, then I’d treat your daily schedule like they are waking up at 6am in order to help shift things later. More on early wakings here.

How do I fit feedings in with my baby’s sample sleep schedule?

Every baby is different and you know your baby best! Below are some suggestions for feeding but please do what is best for your situation.

In general, I recommend falling into a pattern of eat, play, sleep and separating the act of eating from the act of falling asleep whenever possible. This means that the bulk of your daytime feeds would happen when baby wakes up in the morning and when baby wakes up from each nap. Add in your bedtime routine feed and you’re good to go!

*If you feel your baby needs more feedings than this or is acting hungry, then you can also offer a feed about 45 minutes before naptime as well to keep it from bleeding into sleep time while still offering extra calories.

 

0-2 month sample sleep schedule

With the newborn stage, everything is highly flexible. Most likely each day will look different and that’s to be expected. Newborn sleep is especially unpredictable but the key to avoiding over-tiredness is offering naps frequently. I recommend offering naps about every 45-75 minutes depending on the age of your newborn.

Newborns will likely have 4 naps or more a day with a later morning wake up and a later bedtime. Below are a couple examples of what your day could look like with a newborn. Again, none of these are better or best. I simply want to show you how different you should expect newborn schedules to be from day to day and from baby to baby.

 

Sample sleep schedule #1 (Mixture of short and long naps)

Wake up: 7am

Nap 1: 8-10am

Nap 2: 11-12pm

Nap 3: 1-3pm

Nap 4: 4-4:30pm

Nap 5: 5:30-6pm

Nap 6: 7-7:30pm

Bedtime: 8:30pm

 

Sample sleep schedule #2 (Long naps)

Wake up: 7am

Nap 1: 8-10am

Nap 2: 11-1pm

Nap 3: 2-4pm

Nap 4: 5-6pm

Nap 5: 7-8pm

Bedtime: 9pm

 

Sample sleep schedule #3 (Short naps)

Wake up: 8am

Nap 1: 9-9:30am

Nap 2: 10:30-11am

Nap 3: 12-12:30pm

Nap 4: 1:30-2pm

Nap 5: 3-3:30pm

Nap 6: 4:30-5pm

Nap 7: 6-6:30pm

Nap 8: 7:30-8pm

Bedtime: 9pm

 

For more info about handling newborn sleep, check out my newborn sleep resource page here.

 

3-4 month sample sleep schedule

This is the stage when night sleep can start to consolidate more (especially if your child has been developing independent sleep skills). But you may also run into the 4 month sleep regression and that can come with its own challenges. See more on this regression with these blogs: How to prepare and Do’s and don’ts

Many 3-4 month olds will still be on a 4 nap schedule but some 4 month olds are taking nice long naps and are able to handle a 3 nap schedule instead.

 

Sample sleep schedule:

Wake up: 6:30am

Nap 1: 8-9:30am

Nap 2: 11:15-12:15pm

Nap 3: 2:15-3:15pm

Nap 4: 5:15-6pm

Bedtime: 8pm

 

5-6 month sample sleep schedule

Most babies are solidly on 3 naps by this age range. Try your best to hang onto 3 naps until your child is at least 7 months old.

For more information on nap transitions, check out my comprehensive nap transition guide. It walks you through the 4 major nap transitions: 4 to 3, 3 to 2, 2 to 1, and 1 to 0!

 

Sample sleep schedule:

Wake up: 6:30am

Nap 1: 8:30-10am

Nap 2: 12-1:30pm

Nap 3: 3:45-4:30pm

Bedtime: 7pm

 

7-8 month sample sleep schedule

7 months is the earliest I like to see babies transitioning to 2 naps. As a result of this transition to 2 naps you’ll see bedtime pulled earlier for a while but don’t be scared of the early bedtime! Bedtime may fall as early as 6pm and that’s okay! The sample schedule below is an example of what a 2 nap schedule will look like early on in the transition. But if you have a 7 or 8 month old who is still rocking 3 naps- go for it!

 

Sample sleep schedule:

Wake up: 6:30am

Nap 1: 9:15-11am

Nap 2: 2-3pm

Bedtime: 6:15pm

 

9-11 month sample sleep schedule

By this age range, most babies are settling into a good 2 nap routine and able to handle slightly more awake time as you can see below.

 

Sample sleep schedule:

Wake up: 6:30am

Nap 1: 9:30-11:30am

Nap 2: 3-4pm

Bedtime: 7:30pm

 

12-14 month sample sleep schedule

It’s not unusual for 12-14 month olds to start resisting the 2nd nap a bit but try as hard as you can to hang onto 2 naps until you reach that 14/15 month mark. While the second nap may become shorter and less restorative, most babies still desperately need it at this age. Without it many spiral into a cycle of over-tiredness with night wakings and early morning wakings and it can feel impossible to break out of.

You may find you need to wake your child from their first nap slightly earlier to build enough sleep pressure before you offer nap 2.

 

Sample sleep schedule:

Wake up: 6:30am

Nap 1: 9:30-11am

Nap 2: 3-3:45pm

Bedtime: 7:30pm

 

15-24 month sample sleep schedule

Now your child is finally old enough for the transition to 1 nap so feel free to go for it when you’re ready! Our aim is for a lunchtime/afternoon nap that is 1.5-3 hours in length. During this adjustment to 1 nap, don’t fear the early bedtime- it’s your BFF, I promise! *Please note that in most cases you don’t want to jump from a 3 hour wake window before nap 1 to a 5-6 hour wake window. See my comprehensive nap guide for more step by step instructions so you don’t end up with a crabby, overtired toddler!

Around this age, many parents ask me what they should do with lunch time. Usually it falls right when their child should be taking their long nap and parents worry their child will be hungry and wake up early. I recommend splitting your lunch in half and offering the first half shortly before naptime and then offering second lunch after naptime.

 

Sample sleep schedule:

Wake up: 6:30am

Nap 1: 11:30-1:30pm

Bedtime: 6:30pm

 

2-3 year sample sleep schedule

By this age range, most babies are settling into a good 1 nap schedule and you’ll see that nap shifting as late as 1pm and bedtime shifting later accordingly! Not much will change now for a while. It’s normal for 2 year olds to go through a nap strike but don’t be fooled. They still need that nap! Keep your typical nap time everyday- even if they aren’t sleeping- and they will get back to napping. For more about this tricky age, check out this blog: Toddler sleep and why it sucks.

 

Sample sleep schedule:

Wake up: 6:30am

Nap 1: 12:30-2:30pm

Bedtime: 7:30pm

 

3+ year sample sleep schedule

Most kiddos still need a nap until 3-5 years of age. Once you hit that stage be sure to read my Quiet Time blog. I am a big believer in keeping a daily quiet time (for your child’s sake and yours) even when they stop napping. It’s been an absolute lifesaver in my house and a great way for my kids to hone their independent play skills.

Is baby sleep developmental? How do we respond to people who claim baby sleep is developmental? This was a recent question in my DMs and I realized I needed more space to unpack this question! This blog will walk through this popular question and the many different rabbit holes that correspond to answering it.

 

First we have to get clear about what is actually being claimed with this statement: Baby sleep is developmental. Is the person saying baby sleep patterns and needs develop and change as your child ages? Or are they trying to say that baby sleep is a developmental milestone so you can’t “rush” it? These are 2 very different questions with very different answers. Next time someone claims baby sleep is developmental- ask them what exactly they mean by that. You may find you agree with them!

 

To address the first possible meaning of this claim, let’s dig in!

 

Sleep is developmental- Sleep needs and patterns change as your child grows and develops.

 

This is TRUE! ⤴

Of course our children’s sleep needs change over time! We see the total amount of sleep our children need decreasing slowly over the months and years. Your child will go through 4 major nap transitions in their life as a result of these changing needs and we see the number of daily naps decreasing until they’re gone around the age of 3-5 years. Along with that we see night sleep consolidating more over the first few months of life. 

 

As far as development goes, your child will go through the 4 month sleep regression (sometime between 3 and 5 months) and this marks a permanent maturing of their sleep cycles. This is the point where your baby’s sleep changes from newborn sleep to adult-like sleep. Their sleep is now comprised of 5 different stages and they can spend more of their sleep in a lighter stage than before. This increases their chances of waking more frequently, maybe even every 45 minutes overnight and during naps!

 

For more info about this regression, check out this blog about preparing for it and this blog for my list of dos and don’ts. 

 

Sleep is a developmental milestone- Your child will fall asleep without help when they are developmentally ready. You can’t teach this skill.

This is FALSE! ⤴

 

With this claim, you’ll often see people compare the skill of walking to better baby sleep. “You can try and practice walking as much as you want, but you can’t teach a young baby to walk before they are developmentally ready. Same thing with sleep.”

 

Unfortunately this is a terrible comparison for so many reasons.

 

If they are trying to claim that sleep (falling asleep with less help and just better sleep in general) is a developmental milestone like walking and talking, unfortunately, that doesn't really hold up to much push back. With developmental milestones (walking, talking, rolling, sitting, etc.) we see children achieving these right around the same age. Not at the exact same age of course but we have certain parameters in place and if you've got an 18 month old who still isn't walking, you have cause for concern and know that your child needs more support from a professional.

 

When looking at sleep, we have newborns who are able to put themselves to sleep successfully and we have 5 year olds who still can't. That is HUGE variability and not what we would expect to see if sleep was truly a developmental milestone.

 

Also worthy of note, if sleep was a developmental milestone, then we would NOT be able to train a child to fall asleep on their own before they reached this "magical" age- whatever that age is. Just like you can't teach a 6 month old to walk no matter how hard you try, you also wouldn't be able to teach a baby to fall asleep on their own before this "magical age." And yet, the research shows time and again that sleep training is extremely effective and beneficial.

 

Now, are there aspects of sleep that are affected by development? Of course! Newborn sleep is very different from 4+ month old sleep (as mentioned above). Sleep is bound to be disrupted by the development of object permanence (hello separation anxiety!), limit testing, imagination and night time fears. Not to mention the effect that new motor skills have on sleep.

 

But that does not mean that we can’t support our babies on a path to better sleep or that they are incapable of falling asleep without outside help.

 

Sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone- Your child will sleep through when they are developmentally ready.

 

This one is TRUE and FALSE! ⤴

 

I 100% agree that we cannot expect newborns to go 12 hours without a feed (although many do). And a 12 month old feeding every 2 hours at night is not what we would expect either.

 

Decreasing night feeds IS something that comes with age and efficiency of feeding. I find after years of working with families that after the age of 6 months we can start actively working towards zero night feeds (as long as the pediatrician agrees, solids are being established, and there are no weight gain/feeding issues). But obviously we would not expect or push a newborn to sleep 12 hours without a feed (although if yours naturally does this- count yourself lucky)!

 

However, people who make the above claim often forget that just because a child wakes and feeds at night it does not mean that feed is nutritionally necessary.

 

The elusive “sleeping through the night” is a misnomer anyways- nobody sleeps through the night without brief awakenings! We are all designed to briefly wake at night between sleep cycles, assess our surroundings, and then fall back asleep if all is well.

 

But if your baby is used to being helped to sleep, they are having these wakings and realizing things are NOT ok. They’re all alone and that is not how they initially fell asleep. Or they no longer have a bottle or breast in their mouth like they did the last time they were awake.

 

When we build these habits in, night after night, that teach our children they need something outside of themselves to go back to sleep, is it any wonder they keep waking? Research shows us that babies who are put down already asleep are more likely to need help to go back to sleep in the night than babies who are put down awake and fall asleep themselves. If we aren’t giving them the tools to regulate their own sleep, then it will be quite a while until they start to “sleep through the night.” This doesn’t make “sleeping through the night” a developmental milestone. It makes it a skill set.

 

Bottom line is this: 

There is no magical time when your child will start sleeping through the night or is suddenly ready to fall asleep without your help…. If you’re waiting for that “developmental milestone” to occur, you may be waiting for a loooong time. 

 

Instead, falling asleep independently and sleeping longer stretches at night is often a direct result of building more sustainable sleep habits for your child.

 

In my professional experience (working with 5 year olds who have never slept independently before working with me), parents tell me they kept waiting for their child to just “figure it out” but the habits they had spent years building (laying with, nursing to sleep, rocking, etc.) were keeping that from happening. They wished they had addressed sleep issues sooner instead of subjecting their family to years of sleeplessness waiting for this non-existent developmental milestone.

 

 

Feeling overwhelmed?

If you feel like you might be ready to start making sleep changes but you're feeling really overwhelmed about where you can even begin... Here is a link to my scheduler so we can talk through your situation and see if we'd make a good fit to work together.

 

 

For baby-proofing tips, see this post that I helped contribute to.

 

 

Today's blog and podcast is all about sleepwear. Whether you've got a newborn, baby, toddler, or preschooler- we've got you covered!

I get into the details of what your child should wear to sleep, when your child should wear special sleepwear, and why! I also offer all my product recommendations depending on what stage of life you're currently in.

 

*This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my privacy and disclosure statement for more information.

Click here for a quick link to your desired podcast app

Swaddles

Swaddling can be SUCH a helpful tool for newborns. Here are some basic swaddling facts you should know:

1. Swaddling is great for newborn sleep because it reminds them of the womb! Your newborn loved the womb and if we can recreate that feeling of security and snugness, it will help!
2. Swaddling also prevents your newborn from being woken up by their Moro reflex. This reflex will fully integrate around 4 months so a swaddle can be helpful in the first few months of life to make the transition from womb to world easier.
3. Like all things, swaddling should be done in moderation. It's a great tool for sleep but when awake, we want your newborn to be free to move and play!
4. For safety reasons, I recommend you transition out of the swaddle at the very first signs of rolling.
5. When swaddled, babies hips should be loose and free to wiggle.
6. The swaddling material should not be up around baby's face.

 

Swaddle sleepwear I recommend:

Summer Infant Swaddle Me

Pros: Inexpensive, easy to use

These are my personal favorite!

Halo Swaddle

Pros: Easy to use, can also be used as a regular sleep sack once you're done swaddling

Cons: More expensive

Love 2 Dream

Pros: Good option for babies who hate swaddling

Cons: Most expensive

Swaddle Transition

Did you know there are several swaddle transition products that are designed to help you stop swaddling? Let's break them down below and if you need more specific help with that transition out of the swaddle- check out this blog too: How to transition out of the swaddle

 

Swaddle transition sleepwear I recommend:

Magic Merlin Sleepsuit

Pros: Very helpful if your baby still has a strong Moro reflex

Cons: Shouldn't use for very long because they prevent baby from rolling around and getting comfy. 5 months is the oldest I prefer to see babies in these suits.

Halo Swaddle to Sack

Pros: If you used this swaddle for you newborn, you can simply wrap the velcro piece around their chest while letting the arms be free! Get double the use out of this swaddle!

Zipadee Zip

Pros: Unique star fish design makes for an easier transition from the swaddle. This can also be used long term for many months so you'll really get your money's worth.

These are my personal favorite!

Sleep Sacks

Sleep sacks function as a wearable blanket. Since we don't want anything in the crib with baby (no blankets, pillows, etc.) these are a great way to give them that extra "blanket" layer while also keeping them safe. Plus, babies don't know how to keep a blanket on all night anyways!

These can also be great deterrents to keep your toddler from climbing out of their crib. Typically with one of these on they will not be able to hike a leg up and climb out.

Last thing I want you to know is that while sleep sacks are great tools, they are NOT a necessity for good sleep. You don't have to ever use a sleep sack if you don't want/need to!

Sleep sack sleepwear I recommend:

Merlin Dream Sack

 

Carters Sleep Sack

Pros: Inexpensive, can often be found on clearance at Kohl's! Any sleep sack will do. Please don't feel like you need the fanciest of the fancy. 🙂

Zipadee Zip

Pros: Can be used well past the swaddle transition phase up to 24 months!

These are my personal favorite!

Toddler & Preschooler Sleep Wear

Once your child outgrows traditional sleep sacks, there are still options for keeping them warm at night. Many toddlers and preschoolers won't be able to effectively use sheets and covers until older so it's best to avoid that pitfall of repeatedly fixing their covers overnight and instead just use one of these sleepwear options below! For a more in-depth review of the longest sleep sacks I could find, see this blog here.

 

Toddler/preschooler sleepwear I recommend:

Halo XL Sleep Sack

Pros: Still trying to keep your toddler safely in a crib? These fit up to 40in and up to 36lbs!

Flying Squirrel

Pros: Still get that cozy feel of a sleep sack- but with the feet free! Comes in sizes up to 5T.

Halo Walker

Pros: Still get that cozy feel of a sleep sack- but with the feet free! Comes in sizes up to 5T.

 

Need more help than just sleepwear? Check out my resources for every age below:

How to have a life with naps... you might be surprised by our advice! We chat about managing expectations for naps on the go, the 80/20 rule, and we give you permission to do whatever works best for you and your family!

 

Relevant product links for napping on the go- https://allthesleeps.com/productsilove/

 

Click here for a quick link to your desired podcast app

Hi everyone and welcome to Sleep Talking Moms. Today we are going to talk about something that I don't know I feel like people get a little riled up about sometimes, but also necessary, very necessary. So yeah, we're going to talk about how to have a life with naps. And you may not like me and Kayla's perspective on this and that is okay. We don't get into this. We're very similar in how we think about this subject. But we know that it is not for everyone and that is 100%. Okay, so if you listen to this and feel like we're psycho, that's that's okay. You don't hurt our feelings. Not at all. And I am kind of sorry that we both came about our how we were gonna handle naps. The same way cuz I would have been much more helpful if one of us was one way or the other was the other but we have open minds about Whichever way you choose to parent just like anything else. So you gotta do it. You got to do absolutely.

 

And I guess just to you know, get the cat out the bag. When it comes to having a life with naps. Me and Kayla err on the side where we would just much rather have good naps and we don't care so much about having a life when our little ones are little and still need lots of naps. So we would 100% Choose sleep and reliable sleep and breaks during the day over being able to go around and do different things and see people and have a social life or have activities. That is that fair. Kayla, would you agree? That is very, very fair. Yes. And if you guys listen to the last episode, you will know that Carianna and I were basically squares our whole life and we sleep so there are a lot of times where we were choosing to not be social because it was a fun time. So we get it honestly. And you know I I know that it gets harder to when you have like when you have more than one child so maybe you have one that's a toddler or older who just has one nap a day at you know one reliable time or maybe they're done napping and then you have the baby who's still on 234 naps and you know, you feel bad like well, I won't be able to take my toddler out and do things I have been there.

 

Okay, well I know your experience has been a little different because that phase for you. With your kids has been during COVID. So you couldn't go anywhere even if you wanted to. Yes, yeah, right. It was kind of a gift. In a weird roundabout way. I'd never like of course, I don't want what's happening to be happening. But to have a little baby and a toddler at the height of the pandemic where we couldn't go anywhere and we were on lockdown. It was like, oh, okay, cool. Well, I guess this is what we're doing. And so our big trips were trips to the farmyard. Which are good trips, good trips. Yeah. Yeah. And when my boys were younger, and Tim was a baby, and Ethan was, you know, in the two to three range. I'm not gonna say that. We never went anywhere for Ethan to do things, but they were pretty few and far between. And I probably waited more until Campbell my younger one was on a to nap schedule. Just because two naps gives you more time in between naps to get an outing and get back home before nap time. So that's kind of our personal experience, but you can absolutely have a toddler and have a baby and do things and still have successful naps. So I don't want you to take away from this, that it's not possible. I do want you to be just kind of cognizant of your individual child because I do find a lot of this is child specific. Some are gonna be super super sensitive to having their nap schedule messed up or to having you know, a nap on the go. They're gonna be really sensitive to that not going to go smoothly. And some parents can just like they know okay, if we have a rough nap day, we're expecting a couple night wakings tonight.

 

So if you find out that that's your kid, it doesn't mean you can't go anywhere but it does mean you're going to want to kind of weigh your options more and decide okay, which is more important to me if I can't have my cake and eat it too. You know, am I gonna choose staying in more to respect these naps or am I gonna choose going out and just accepting you know, the cards I've dealt with because of it. And on the flip side, there are some kids who are so chill and easygoing that they'll have to sign for you on the go if their schedules messed up and they miss an app or two during the day, they're not going to be a rep that night, they're going to be just fine. So you kind of have to experiment a little and get to know your child and know that not all children are the same in this respect. Yes. And we're also kind of giving you guys a free pass to if you feel like I can't handle the stress of not like not going and doing things because my kids sleep schedule is so important. We give you full permission to be a square like if you need that because your stress level is too high juggling all the things that you have to juggle then don't feel like you have to do anything.

 

But also if there are those things that pop up things that you want to do realize that it's you're gonna have a messed up day, and then just resume business as usual. The next and it will it will be okay. Yeah, absolutely. And I have parents a lot ask me, like, if I go out, you know, when we you know, take take my child to the library and we don't get home in time for nap. Is this going to ruin everything and start us back at square one? No, it's not going to ruin everything. Now if I'm specifically working with a family who is going through the sleep training process, I'm going to recommend you don't do those things for a limited period. of time where we are just focused on learning. But after that period of time, you're never going to go all the way back to square one. You may like a well said have a rougher day but it's not going to set you back at zero as far as sleep and every all the routines and habits that you've created for them not gonna start you back at square zero. All right, so like what we've kind of been talking about with like, if you want your cake and eat it too, all of that stuff when it comes to to naps and having a life I've heard of I think I've heard you talk before about the 8020 rule. But what is that?

Yeah, yes, the 8020 rule. And you've probably heard this about other aspects of life too. It's a pretty common phrase. I'm sure our listeners have heard the 8020 rule. When it comes to sleep and naps is 80% of the time. We want to aim for naps in the ideal environment and at the right time. 80% of time, that's kind of our goal. And then 20% of the time if we're off track and the nap has to be in a non ideal environment in the car or in the stroller and at a non ideal time. Maybe they're skipping the nap. That's okay, so we can kind of find that 8020 balance. That's what's going to help them to not be so thrown off by nap disruption and changes that they're miserable but also gives you as a parent freedom to go and do things here and there. And when we do have to have naps on the go, you know, there are definitely things we can do to help improve the quality of those naps. Things like taking white noise with you and you know, if they're in the car seat, you're driving around and they need to be napping, you know, putting the white noise back there by them or I've had parents play it through the Bluetooth system in their car so the whole car is white noise.

 

I also put a blanket in the window to get it to start doing possibly can but that's a good that's a good idea. And another option you can do I don't know if you guys have heard of SnoozeShade it is like a black they make one for strollers and for car seats a cover that so it kind of creates that dark environment that very, very dark environment. So those are good options as well to kind of recreate the ideal environment. I've had a lot of families by this new shade if their schedule kind of makes it so as as they're driving home from daycare, if they have a bit of a commute. They know that that's when they need their third nap of the day to happen is on that drive home. And so they will just always have that white noise in the car. Had their sushi and the child just snaps for that 20 or 30 minute ride home. So definitely things we can do to make naps better on the go.

 

But the other thing I want you to just kind of grab onto and accept is that naps on the go are never going to be as good as naps at home in their ideal environment. And I think we get we get fixated on that like oh I want them to be able to nap while on the go. That's just not how humans are built. I don't know about you okay, what do you nap well in a car as well as my bed? No, yeah, you can do it. And it's better than you know. No sleep, right? Yeah. But yeah, it is not going to be that ideal sleep. It's not going to be as good a quality just like you may not sleep as well in a hotel room outside of your usual house and bed or you may not sleep as well at your in laws house. Babies are the same way. And so we can't expect them to nap to the same level of sleep as they do when they're at home in their perfect environment. And one thing I just want you guys to remember is that this you know having no life or having a life that's disrupted by sleep schedules for kids. Even conflicting sleep schedules for kids. I remember that very well. I remember, you know, like, Ellis would wake up or else would be awake. I put tiny down I put Alice down for his nap. And then my little one would get up and just being like, I don't have a single solitary second to myself this whole day. Probably added some expletives and that's intense.

 

Just like anything else, this is not gonna last forever. At some point your kids are you know, like, my youngest is two now he has one nap. I was in for quiet time. Like at some point it does all kind of come together. They won't have naps forever. So it's gonna suffer a little bit and then it's gonna be totally fine. But you'll have a well rested kid. And hopefully yourself will be you'll be well rested too. So hang in there. Yeah, I think that's a really important reminder. Because when you're in it, you know, it can feel like oh my gosh, I haven't gone anywhere for months, but in the scheme of our child's life. It is such a small, small point in time when we just have so many naps and I remember those days to Kayla, I think the worst is when you have one kid on to naps and the other kid on one nap because there is just there's literally almost no overlap. Yeah, and you're just like nap. Okay, next nap. Okay, next nap and then it's dinnertime and you're like, I haven't. I haven't had any time by myself at all. Yep. Or like you have like 15 minutes between you're like, should I get a quick workout? Should I do the dishes? Should I just sit like yeah, it's not fun. It's not but what happens because of that good sleep can be fun. So it'll get there it'll get there.

 

Well, I hope that this podcast didn't feel like a downer for you if you were hoping for like some quick fix. Yeah, quick because you guys know we don't think quick fixes exist in parenting. I so wish they did but they just don't but I hope that the commiseration helps and just that if you view sleep the same way that we do and you're cool with like, Yeah, I'd rather stay home and just have good sleep. You're not alone. And I will also tell you even though Kayla and I can't relate if you're someone who's like you know what, I just need my baby to be on my schedule. I know plenty of people that that works just fine for so there's no shame in that game either. And be sure guys to stay tuned this week on Instagram and Facebook. I'm gonna be talking more about how to do naps on the go ways to make it work for you. So stay tuned for more info and thank you for joining us. Thank you guys have a good week.