Psst! Scroll to the very bottom to see my screen grabs for easy reference!

Eeek! Daylight Saving Time is ending, but it doesn't have to feel like the end of the world!

I have 2 different plans of action below to help you survive this time shift:

Is it just a sleep regression? Or something else... We've all been there—waiting, hoping, surviving. Your baby was sleeping just fine, and then out of nowhere, the wake-ups start. You tell yourself, "It’s just a phase. It’ll pass." And sure, sometimes sleep regressions really do resolve on their own. But what if they don’t? What if weeks (or months) later, your baby's sleep is still a struggle?

The misconception: “It’s just a regression. It will pass!”

You’ve probably heard this advice before: "It’s just a sleep regression. Give it time, and your baby will go back to sleeping well."

And yes, temporary disruptions in sleep due to developmental leaps, teething, or illness can improve on their own. But here’s the thing—if you’re stuck in unsustainable sleep habits while waiting for things to magically get better, there’s a chance this isn’t just a phase anymore.

The reality: A regression can quickly become a habit

Here’s how it happens:

• A sleep regression begins – Your baby suddenly wakes frequently or resists sleep.
• Survival mode kicks in – You start rocking, feeding, or co-sleeping just to get some rest.
• Weeks pass… and nothing changes – The "phase" is still going strong because your baby now expects those sleep habits every time they wake up.

If this sounds familiar, your baby’s sleep struggles may no longer be a temporary regression but a learned sleep pattern.

How do you know it’s more than just a regression?

If your baby or toddler only falls asleep with one (or more) of the following, and you feel stuck, it’s likely that a sleep habit has formed:

• Rocking or holding until fully asleep
• Feeding every time they wake up (even if they weren’t doing that before)
• You lying next to them until they doze off
• Motion sleep (stroller, car, etc.)

The good news? Instead of passively waiting for sleep to improve, you can take small, intentional steps to break the cycle and create sustainable sleep habits.

Also, be sure to take a look at my FREE sleep regression flowchart if you're still unsure whether it's a sleep regression or not.

How to get sleep back on track

If your baby’s sleep has gone off the rails, you’re not alone. The key is to be proactive rather than waiting it out. You can start by:

• Creating consistent, predictable bedtime routines
• Gradually removing sleep associations that aren’t working for you
• Teaching your child independent sleep skills so they can resettle on their own

Need a plan of action?

If you’re ready to move past the endless wake-ups and teach your baby to sleep independently, my Sleep Coaching Crash Course (4-24 months) can help! This course walks you through exactly how to:

✅ Teach your baby to fall asleep independently in their crib
✅ Night wean (if needed) and reduce night wakings
✅ Follow a clear, day-by-day sleep training plan
✅ Feel confident and consistent—so your baby actually sleeps!

You don’t have to wait and hope for better sleep. You can take action today. Check out my sleep coaching program to get started. Let's teach your little one how to love sleep!

Truth bomb incoming, tired mama: toddler sleep problems are not just a phase. While it’s easy to dismiss sleepless nights and fussy bedtimes as something that will simply resolve itself over time, the reality is that these sleep phases can quickly morph into lasting habits. So, if you’re hoping for a magical solution that allows your little one to drift into dreamland without a fuss, it’s time to recalibrate your expectations and take action!

Why toddler sleep phases matter

As a parent, you may be familiar with the ever-changing nature of your toddler’s sleep patterns. One week, they may fall asleep without a hitch, while the next, they might resist bedtime like it’s a full-time job. It’s easy to chalk these fluctuations up to typical developmental phases, but the truth is that how you address these sleep challenges right now can have a profound impact on your child’s long-term sleep habits.

When you allow sleep issues to persist without intervention, you risk establishing patterns that can become deeply ingrained. Your toddler may learn that resisting sleep is an effective strategy to get attention or that they can delay bedtime by creating fuss. Over time, these behaviors can evolve into habits that are much harder to break, leading to ongoing battles at bedtime and restless nights for the entire family.

Now, I'm not saying that sleep disruptions won't happen because of outside factors like: molars coming in, getting over sickness, dealing with the addition of a new sibling, adjusting from crib to bed, starting a new school or daycare, and your typical toddler developmental changes. BUT,  if you pick up unhealthy or unsustainable habits during these disruptions, then you can't expect your child to suddenly go back to how they were sleeping before. It is going to take *work* to get them back there.

Meet Laia, a recent client:

Laia is the mom of a 3 year old little girl named Dorothy. This 3 year was sleep trained as a baby and has been a beautiful and consistent sleeper ever since. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, something changed. Dorothy started her first week of preschool and her sleep started to go downhill. Before starting preschool she was easily falling asleep on her own in bed after softly singing to herself for 5-10 minutes. She was sleeping through the night and waking up around 6:30am, rested and happy and ready to start the day. She was also napping for about an hour each afternoon. After her first week of preschool she started resisting bedtime for 45-60 minutes each night, did not want her parents to leave the room like they always have, was waking several times in the night scared, and starting her day before 6am. On top of all that, she was refusing her nap too!

At first Laia wondered if her sleep needs had just changed- but that would be a pretty drastic change. Then Laia wondered if they just needed to "give in" and follow her lead with sleep, staying the room longer, pushing bedtime later, letting her start her day earlier, and skipping naps. But after about a week of that Laia could clearly see this wasn't helping Dorothy- in fact it was making things worse. This happy and playful 3 year old was now having multiple daily meltdowns and just not acting like herself.

Laia knew she needed to do something but just wasn't sure how to move forward and that's when she reached out to me. We were able to create a plan of action that helped Laia feel calm and confident holding important sleep boundaries for Dorothy. It wasn't easy breezy but Laia knew what Dorothy was capable of and she knew that on the other side of this struggle was better sleep for the family and a happier Dorothy so she pushed through. Within around 10 days, Dorothy was back to her old sleeping patterns and feeling (and acting) much more rested. Laia expressed to me that, "Not only did I gain confidence in my parenting abilities through this, Dorothy also has gained confidence that she can do hard things and overcome them!"

The good news: change is possible

I hope that story about Laia and Dorothy above gave you hope. This is a story that I have seen play out over and over and over again during my years working with families. Because here's the good news: with the right guidance and a proactive approach, you can turn the tide and help your toddler establish healthy sleep habits. Instead of waiting for the phase to magically end, now is the time to equip yourself with strategies and tools to create a peaceful bedtime routine.

Imagine a scenario where bedtime isn’t a struggle but a predictable and enjoyable experience for both you and your toddler. Picture your little one drifting off to sleep with ease, allowing you to enjoy your evenings without the stress of sleepless nights. This dream can become a reality with consistent efforts and the right support.

Take the first step towards better sleep

If you’re ready to stop blaming the latest sleep woe on a "phase" and start taking proactive steps to get your good sleeper back, check out my Toddler Sleep Reset, where you can learn how to tackle those habits head-on and set your little one up for great sleep moving forward.

Or, if you'd prefer to work directly with me like Laia and Dorothy, check out my Classic Consultation. Together, we’ll explore effective strategies tailored to your child’s unique needs, and create a plan of action as I support you through implementing it. It's time to get your good sleeper back and become the calm and confident leader at bedtime that your child needs.

Transitioning your little one from a crib to a bed is a significant milestone, but it doesn't have to be complicated or overwhelming. In this blog, we'll explore practical strategies and a fresh perspective to simplify the crib to bed transition. By focusing on consistency, confidence, and clear boundaries, you can help your child establish healthy sleep habits and make this transition a smooth and successful one.

Pssst! We often tend to make this transition way more complicated than it needs to be. Trust me, I've been there too!

Now, don't get me wrong—I understand the importance of this transition, especially when it comes to ensuring our child's safety and promoting their independence. (If you can safely hold off on the switch until your child is around 3+ years old, go for it!) But when it boils down to it, the secret lies in going back to the basics of teaching healthy sleep habits.

Crib to bed transition tip #1

Here's the deal: consistency, confidence, and clear boundaries are the superheroes of this transition. When we establish consistent sleep routines and expectations, we provide our children with a sense of security and predictability. They know what to expect, and that goes a long way in helping them adjust to their new beds.

Confidence is key, my friends! Believe in yourself and your ability to guide your child through this transition. Trust that you've laid a solid foundation of healthy sleep habits that will carry them through this phase. You don't need fancy gadgets or a degree in child psychology. You are the expert when it comes to your child, and your confidence will radiate through your actions.

Now, let's talk about those clear boundaries. Setting boundaries is like giving our children a roadmap to navigate their sleep space. It helps them understand what is expected of them and provides a sense of structure. So, whether it's establishing rules around bedtime routines, remaining unfrazzled despite stalling tactics, or clearly communicating expectations, boundaries are the glue that holds this transition together.

Crib to bed transition tip #2

Next, are you ready to change your mindset about this transition? Here we go!

I want you to imagine something for a moment. Remember when your child was snugly contained in their crib? You didn't feel guilty about that, right? It was a necessary measure to keep them safe and ensure they got the sleep they needed. Well, guess what? Now that they've graduated to a big kid bed, we can treat their entire room as an extension of that crib. It's not something to feel bad about; it's simply a natural progression in their sleep journey.

Having a visual/physical boundary at their bedroom doorway is part of this natural progression too. Trust me, don’t get it twisted. This is what your child is used to AND what they need from you. Clear boundaries that don’t topple the second they test them. This one simple re-frame will keep this crib to bed transition from becoming a dumpster fire. 

Crib to bed transition tip #3

Now that we've covered the importance of consistency, confidence, and clear boundaries, let's dive into some practical steps to ensure a smooth and successful transition from crib to bed. Get ready to rock this!

Step one: Keep your sleep routines and expectations consistent. Remember those bedtime rituals that your child knows and loves? Stick to them! Consistency brings comfort and familiarity, easing the transition into their new sleep environment.

Step two: Create a visual or physical boundary. Think of it as a gentle reminder at the bedroom door to simulate the feeling of a crib. This boundary serves as a visual cue for your child, letting them know that their sleep space has expanded, but there are still limits to where they can roam. It's a practical way to ensure their safety and help them adjust gradually to the newfound freedom.

Step three: Have a backup plan. Transitions can come with challenges, and your little one *will* experience bedtime resistance or night wakings (if not right away, then probably in a month or two once you’ve finally relaxed). Prepare yourself by having a plan in place. Will you offer extra reassurance, implement a gentle method to respond to them, or simply hold space for their big feelings? Having a plan ahead of time will give you the confidence to handle any bumps along the way.

Step four: Follow through. As your child adjusts to their new bed, they might test the boundaries and push the limits. It's crucial to hold those boundaries with love and understanding. Big emotions are part of the process, and it's okay to validate your child's feelings while gently reinforcing the boundaries you've set. Consistency and follow-through will help them adapt and establish healthy sleep habits.

Crib to bed transition tip #4

Last but not least, I wanted to take a moment to share some valuable resources that can support you during this crib to bed transition. I've got you covered!

First up, let me introduce you to my Crib to Bed Transition Guide. It's a comprehensive resource that provides practical tips, guidance, and strategies to navigate this milestone with confidence. Inside the guide, you'll find step-by-step instructions, common challenges and their solutions, and expert advice tailored specifically to this transition. It's like having a trusted sleep expert right by your side.

Now, you might be wondering, what if your little one was previously a fantastic sleeper but is now experiencing difficulties during/after this transition? That's where my Toddler Sleep Reset comes in. Designed specifically for parents of previously good sleepers, this workshop addresses the unique challenges that arise during toddlerhood. You'll learn proven strategies to help your little one maintain healthy sleep habits and overcome any hurdles that may arise so you can get your good sleeper back. It's a game-changer, trust me!

As you embark on this new phase, keep in mind that every child is different. Some might adjust quickly, while others may take a bit more time. Be patient and understanding, celebrating every small victory along the way. With consistent routines, confident parenting, and clear boundaries, you're setting your child up for sleep success.

Take this tidbit with you as you go: You can do hard things & so can your child! 

If you’ve got a toddler or preschooler and you’re dealing with bedtime stalling, you’re not alone! It’s also important to know that this is perfectly normal behavior for your 2-5 year old. I find parents have a hard time with these main 2 things when bedtime stalling crops up: Understanding that it’s okay to say no & knowing the right way to respond to stalling.

If you can relate, this blog post is written specifically for you! I’ve even got sample scripts so you can find just the right words to lovingly hold those boundaries.

So, before we get to the scripts, let’s first help you understand that it’s okay to say no to bedtime stalling. You don’t have to be stuck in a cycle of late bedtimes and dreading the whole drawn out process.

Why bedtime stalling happens

Your toddler is good at testing boundaries. And they should be! Boundary testing is an important part of their learning and development! So it’s natural that what once was a calming routine is now filled with requests and stalling. That’s their job!

They will keep pushing and pushing until they understand exactly where that limit is. And they can’t know where the limit is if we, as parents, don’t show them. In this article by parenting expert, Janet Lansbury, she explains that they can get stuck in testing mode if we aren’t making our limits clear.

Why it’s important to hold clear bedtime boundaries

We give a little here, we give a little there, and before we know it, our toddler is testing every single limit that we have around sleep. In the end we feel like we are constantly fighting them so we just give up and find ourselves in a sleep situation that we never wanted to be in.

But as parents, our job is to hold the important boundaries firm so that your child can figure out what you expect of them. These consistent boundaries allow your child to get out of testing mode and start accepting.

What to say to respond to bedtime stalling and requests

If you notice specific requests or issues that come up regularly, then you should be addressing them, talking about them, and prepping your child BEFORE bedtime.

Bedtime is not the time to be having lengthy conversations. It's a time to validate, be clear, and remain consistent. And that's where these scripts below can come in handy!

(Now I know that having scripts aren't the end all be all of parenting BUT it is helpful to have some responses in mind. Otherwise we can get caught off guard and end up with a bedtime routine that goes on and on and on...)

"I don't want to go to bed!"

"You're upset you have to stop playing. The clock says it's bedtime and we can play more tomorrow!"

With this example you are validating their feelings. We want them to know it’s okay for them to be upset and have feelings, right? But then we can still hold the boundary instead of trying to stifle any unpleasant feelings before they happen.

*Stalling in general during the routine*

"Do you want to walk into your room or do you want me to carry you?"

Offering choices when it makes sense can go a long way! Offer 2 pajama choices and let them choose. Offer 2 book choices and let them choose. The key with offering choices is to keep it small and manageable so they aren’t overwhelmed with control. If they don’t want to choose, or they stall with choosing, then you let them know you’re going to choose for them this time and they can try again tomorrow night.

"Don’t leave. I'm scared"

"It's okay to be scared. You are safe and Mom is right in the living room."

It’s perfectly normal and natural to have fears. But we want to help our children face their fears and build confidence in themselves to handle hard situations. Bedtime is such a safe and predictable opportunity for them to do just that. Validate their feelings, reassure them you are close by, and then give them the opportunity to work through it. 

“Can I have another drink of water?”

“We already got our last drink before bed. You can have more water in the morning.”

Or maybe you choose to give them a water bottle in their room/crib for them to drink from. But once it’s gone, it’s gone until morning!

“Just one more book!”

“We already read our 2 stories for the night. We can read more tomorrow!”

Ahh, the “just one more book” line. It can be so hard to say no because we know how good reading is for our kids. But it’s important to have a set number of books that you read each night. Don’t waver on that number if you’re having bedtime stalling issues. This simply confuses your child and makes them think they can keep asking for more books. The first few times you tell them no, they will likely be upset, but they’ll figure it out with consistency and it won’t feel as upsetting to them.

"Will you tuck me in again?"

"We do one tuck at bedtime. After that you're in charge of your bed and how you like it."

Calmly let your child know that they only get 1 tuck in. Be sure to practice putting the covers on themselves during the day as well! If they really are too young to replace blankets then you might consider putting them in a wearable blanket for toddlers and skipping the blankets for now. Check out the Flying Squirrel here and the Halo Walker here.

I hope these scripts give you some clarity. The purpose of these scripts is to respond confidently and then continue to move along with your next step. Remember, it is loving to hold boundaries. In fact, consistent boundaries allow children to feel safe and it decreases anxiety.

For more help with your toddler or preschooler's sleep, check out my resource page for 2-5 years. Here I offer freebies, relevant blog posts, courses, and 1:1 services for this age group!

Have you heard of the 4 month regression? My guess is, if you're reading this blog- you probably have. 🙂

I find parents usually fall into one of two categories:

Either they've heard about the 4 month sleep regression and they've been just waiting for and stressing for when baby's sleep will get worse...

Or they didn't know anything about the 4 month regression until sleep started going downhill.

When I was a first time mom, I fell into the second category. I had never heard of the 4 month sleep regression and so when my baby's sleep went from bad to worse at 4 months- I was shocked! After scouring the internet to find out why my baby was waking every 45 minutes at night and why he was suddenly so much harder to get to sleep at night, I stumbled across a blog about the 4 month sleep regression. My eyes were opened and the next stage of my life began! Lol. To read more of my personal sleep story, click here.

In this video and blog post I'll be teaching you what actually happens during the 4 month sleep regression as well as some do's and don'ts for navigating your way through the 4 month sleep regression.

Don't

Don't assume this regression will happen at exactly 4 months. It can actually start anytime between 3 and 5 months of age. Also, don't assume you might get lucky and "skip" this regression.

This 4 month sleep regression is different from other regressions in that it marks a permanent change in your baby's sleep cycles. This means everyone will go through it! The severity of it will be dictated by your baby's current sleep habits, how well rested they are, their temperament and other factors.

Do

Do look for these signs that your baby is going through this 4 month sleep regression:

• More frequent night wakings (baby may be waking as often as every 45 minutes during the night)
• Short naps (you may find your baby is waking consistently right at that 30 minute mark- and still tired and crabby)
• Difficulty falling asleep initially (if you used to be able to get your baby to sleep and then transfer them, this may cease to work)

These are all signs that your baby could be hitting their 4 month sleep regression. And obviously with all of these comes frustration and over-tiredness (from you and your baby). That's why this regression can be such a doozy!

Don't

Don't add in extra night feeds just because your baby is waking more frequently at night. If your baby has shown you that they are capable of going longer stretches at night without feeding, don't start adding in a bunch more feeds simply because they are waking.

I see parents do this a lot during the 4 month sleep regression. They assume that because baby is waking more, they must be hungry or going through a growth spurt. But what usually ends up happening is what we call reverse cycling.

Baby starts taking in more calories overnight because extra feeds are offered... then baby is more distracted and uninterested in eating during the day... this leads to a hungrier baby at night... and the cycle continues.

Another thing to keep in mind about growth spurts: you will notice an increase in hunger 24/7, not just at night.

Do

Do give your child space to settle in the night and if they don't start by offering less help and work your way up. We don't want to jump straight to the "big guns" to comfort and soothe if we can help it.

If your baby is waking more frequently in the night because of the 4 month sleep regression and fussing or whining, it's okay to give them space until they become distressed. They may just show you that they can go back down on their own!

If they become distressed and start crying, then I recommend going and offering soothing. It's best to start with the least amount of intervention (soothing words, shushing, your presence) and then work your way to more intervention (patting, rubbing, replacing pacifier, picking up to settle then placing back down again) as needed. If they still need more help to calm down and fall asleep, then you can switch to the most intervention (rocking and holding til asleep).

By working our way through this ladder slowly, we give them lots of chances to practice some independence and we can hopefully avoid adding in a bunch of extra sleep habits that aren't sustainable long term.

P.S. If you've got a newborn, my Newborn Mini Course walks you through how to use this ladder from the start.

Don't

Don't assume that sleep will magically go back to the way it was before the 4 month sleep regression. As I mentioned earlier, this regression marks a permanent change in your baby's sleep cycles.

They no longer have sleep cycles like a newborn- which is comprised of quiet and active sleep. Instead their sleep is now consisting of 4 different stages and there is more cycling in and out of lighter stages of sleep.

So it's not unusual for the poor sleep that happens with the 4 month sleep regression to continue until parents make some sleep changes. Because of the increase in lighter sleep, your baby just has more potential for wake ups! And with that, your help will be needed more and more often each time they wake.

We can change that by giving them the tools to fall asleep on their own- that way they won't be disturbed and need outside help at each and every waking!

Do

Do use this as an opportunity to sleep train your baby and teach them independent sleep skills. If you're struggling with their sleep during the 4 month regression and you're also ready to make a change, now's a great time to sleep train!

I often have parents ask me if they should wait until after the 4 month sleep regression is over before they sleep train, but as we discussed, this sleep regression doesn't "end." It's a permanent change to your baby's sleep cycles so if you are waiting for the regression to "end" and your baby's sleep to get better before you sleep train... you'll be waiting awhile!

Feeling overwhelmed?

If you feel like you might be ready to start making sleep changes but you're feeling really overwhelmed about where you can even begin... Here is a link to my scheduler so we can talk through your situation and see if we'd make a good fit to work together.

Baby sleep and sickness... nothing can mess up a good sleep routine like a sick child! And boy do kids get sick a lot. I remember, before I had kids, how I would brag about never getting sick. Now my kids (and myself) wind up sick multiple times each winter! Getting sick is also a common set back for sleep so I want to help you so you know the best way to handle a sick child and the best way to get on track afterwards, if needed.

First order of business, when you suspect that your child might be sick, is to discern what level of sickness you are dealing with

Are you dealing with some sniffles and a cough? Fever? Ear infection? Stomach bug? I want you to discern the severity of the symptoms so that you can treat and comfort with the same intensity. The truth is, if your child simply has a cold and sniffles but is fine otherwise, you probably don’t want to do much intervening.

I don’t know about your kids, but mine seem to have stuffy noses for most of the winter months and if I introduced unhelpful habits each time that happened, we’d never make any headway with sleep!

I’m also trusting you to use your parental judgment. Please keep in mind that this is simply a blog post written to a general audience. YOU are the parent and YOU know when something doesn’t seem right. Always trust that judgement and act accordingly when dealing with sick littles.

Once you’ve decided how severe your child’s sickness is, obviously we want to treat it and help them feel better

See your doctor and/or administer your pediatrician’s dosage of medicine when applicable. Keep the fluids coming. Get your child plenty of rest to recover.

Next, decide if your help to fall asleep is needed and necessary

If your child has been sleep trained for a while, it is very possible that they just won’t nap or sleep well within your arms. And that’s okay. My two were always like that. Since we had set up healthy sleep habits from the beginning, they’ve almost always slept alone and fallen asleep alone, even when sick. I knew they would get better rest that way and it just wasn’t an issue. If that’s you, go with it!

If you’re on the other end of the spectrum and your child is sick and struggling to fall asleep without your help or presence, that’s okay too.  Go ahead and offer support and comfort to them when they need it. Remember, sleep is really important for their bodies as they recover.

But I do encourage you to be curious about how much help they actually need from you. Can they fall asleep with your hand just resting on their tummy? Do they need the whole rock/bounce/shushing charade just to fall asleep? Always be curious.

Also be mindful. If nursing was a previous sleep crutch for them and you’d really rather not go back down that road, then don’t offer nursing as a way to put them to sleep. Comfort them? Yes, of course. Pick them up? Sure, if it helps! But maybe you decide that offering nursing to sleep is just going to add more heartache on the other side of this sickness.

Or maybe that pacifier used to be a culprit of short naps and night wakings but you ditched it a while back and have never been happier! Avoid adding that back in now. Find a different way to comfort if you can.

Another good example of being mindful is to avoid bringing your child into your bed during times of sickness. Maybe you’d like to remain close to your child while they are sick? That’s okay. Instead of pulling them out of their sleep space and into yours, take a mattress or sleeping bag and join them in their room. That way they can continue using their usual sleep space and that’s one less thing you have to backtrack on later!

One final suggestion during times of sickness

Like I mentioned above, sleep is vital for recovery during times of sickness. And it’s likely that your baby will sleep more than normal when they are sick. It’s okay to let them sleep a bit longer than they normally would.

Typically I suggest cutting naps off at the 2 hour mark for good sleep hygiene, but in the case of sickness, I say it’s okay to let them go past that mark. I would consider waking them if they get closer to 3 hours of napping. 

Remember, fluids and nutrition are important too and we don’t want them to miss out on that during the day. It’s also important to remember that while naps are essential for babies and young children, night sleep is king. It’s the most restorative sleep they can get.

So if they’ve napped all day long and then stay up extra late at night, we’ve replaced their restorative night sleep with less restorative day sleep and that’s not an ideal trade off. 

Let’s jump ahead now and talk about once your child is feeling better

Maybe you fell into some unhelpful habits while they were sick. First, I want you to repeat after me: “It’s okay to comfort and help my child when they are sick. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Ok, now that we are on the same page, you will probably need to do some retraining to get back on track with sleep. The good news is that it will go a lot quicker than it did the first time you sleep trained. Here are some of my guidelines for retraining:

1. Make sure your child is back to their usual self. They are no longer sick. They are no longer uncomfortable.

2. Grab a sleep coaching method. This may be the one you previously used or you may decide to try a different method instead.

3. Be mindful that your child is older and more capable than they were the last time you sleep trained. This means they may do better with less intervention or a more hands-off approach. Remember, you aren’t re-teaching them how to sleep, rather you are re-setting the expectations around sleep.

4. You’re probably looking at 2-4 nights of consistency on your end before they are back to their usual self!

Hope this was helpful and don’t forget, for children who are independent sleepers already, I offer troubleshooting calls so that you don’t have to go through this alone!

When do baby sleep regressions happen? How long do sleep regressions last?! Why do sleep regressions suck so bad?!

All questions I receive in frantic emails and DMs. If you're stressing about baby sleep regressions, please know you are not alone. These things happens and they can be oh so frustrating to get through.

Imagine this with me: Your baby has been getting into a good sleeping rhythm. You can almost predict when he will wake from his naps, how long it will take him to fall asleep at bedtime, and what time he will wake at night to feed, if at all.

Then, out of nowhere, his sleep gets all messed up and before you know it, he is barely napping, taking forever to fall asleep at bedtime, and waking frequently overnight again!

If this has happened to you before (or if it's happening right now) I'm sure you have some questions. Which is why I've put together this run-down of sleep regressions for you:

How long do sleep regressions last?

Typically you are looking at about 2 weeks for any single regression to last. But let's be real, this can vary, A LOT! Depending on where you look, you may see that sleep "regressions" happen at several of different points throughout your baby's life.

Each regression is usually linked to different milestones, both physical and mental, as well as nap transitions and sleep need changes that your baby is going through.

When do baby sleep regressions happen?

There are several different months when sleep regressions are most prevalent. I'm going to walk you through those but please remember, because every child is different, this is not an exact science. Some babies will hit these regressions at different times and some won't really be affected by most or all of them.

4 month sleep regression

The 4 month sleep regression is different from the other regressions because it is marked by the permanent maturation of your baby's sleep cycles. They no longer have newborn sleep cycles, instead they are more adult-like now.

This is a permanent change.

Okay, so what? What does that even mean?
Basically it means that your baby will be spending more time in lighter sleep than before and this means more potential for wake ups.

Now, if your baby already has independent sleep skills, that's great news! You're going to want to lean on those skills as you navigate this regression.

If your baby doesn't have those skills, now's the time to teach them, especially if your baby is waking frequently and no one is getting any sleep in your house.

Oh and another good thing to know... This regression doesn't always happen right at 4 months. It can happen anytime between 3 and 5 months.

For more information on this regression, check out this blog post: 4 month sleep regression and how to prepare

6 month sleep regression

Some will swear by a 6 month sleep regression, others won't. That's okay! Not every baby hits every single regression. But let's talk about some of the factors that could be contributing if you're going through the 6 month regression:

Babies are getting more and more mobile at this age. Whether that means rolling, crawling and/or sitting up, your baby is going to be practicing these things in the crib. Is it frustrating? Yup. Can we keep them from practicing these skills instead of sleeping? Nope. Just continue to offer your naps and at regular times and don't be afraid to do an early bedtime if you had a crap nap day.

Babies are starting solids around this time and, unfortunately, this can lead to some poorly timed poops. This can take some experimentation with different foods, different times and see if you can avoid those sleep time poops. Until then, keep those diaper changes dark and un-stimulating and then leave again.

Even though some babies may seem like they are teething earlier than 6 months due to drool and sticking their hands in their mouth, the average age that babies start getting teeth is 6 months. This can be really uncomfortable for some babies while it's hardly a blip on the radar for others. If your baby is uncomfortable, don't be afraid to offer Tylenol to help ease their discomfort.

At 6 months you are nearing that 3 to 2 nap transition (Hallelujah! 2 nap schedules are the 💣!) But if you haven't adjusted your wake windows in a while and you are struggling with short naps, nap refusals, or unusual night wakings, this could mean you need to give longer windows (~2.5 hours). On the other end, you may be struggling to fit that 3rd nap in each day and then having too long of a stretch to bedtime. If you are in this second situation, it's okay to wake from naps 1 and 2 in order to fit nap 3 in right now. Try to hold off that transition to 2 naps until 7 months!

8-10 month sleep regression

Now, try not to be alarmed! The 8-10 month sleep regression doesn't mean it LASTS for 2 months. It means it will probably hit you at some point within these months. Or you may not get bothered by it at all!

Usually this regression happens for the following reasons:
1. Babies this age are either pulling up to stand or are full on standing. This can mean that once you set them down in their crib, they pop right back up! One trick you can do to combat this is to put your child in their crib already standing. Then you take some of the "fun" out of popping back up. Just know that your little on will lay down on their own time, when they are ready. And that's okay.

2. If you have previously been rocking or nursing or assisting to sleep, this is the age when it starts to become harder and harder. Your presence may now be too stimulating for your baby to handle as they fall asleep. Your baby may resist falling asleep because they don't want you to set them down and leave. If you're experiencing this, it may be time to work towards some independent sleep skills.

3. Separation anxiety can rear its ugly head at this age which makes leaving your baby at sleep times especially heart wrenching. Stay consistent with your routines and your baby will gain confidence and security from the familiar patterns. Get extra snuggles during the day but avoid over-helping at night. Also, read my blog or my podcast on separation anxiety for more helpful tips!

12 month sleep regression

You may have hit this regression if...
Your baby is taking forever to fall asleep for their naps
Your baby is taking forever to fall asleep at bedtime
Your baby is waking more throughout the night
Your baby is starting their day earlier than usual

Like the 8-10 month regression, there is a lot of new mobility that can contribute to fighting sleep. But there's also a lot of language development going on behind the scenes.  Your baby may not be talking a ton but their little brains are practicing and working on making those connections. This can definitely be a sleep interrupter.

While I see babies this age go through nap refusal, it's really important not to jump down to 1 nap just yet. We want to hang onto 2 naps until as close as possible to 15 months.

Some things you can do to help if you are struggling with that second nap in particular:
1. Cut off nap 1 by 11:15am.
2. Gradually increase time between nap 1 and 2 to 3.75 or 4 hours.
3. Know that it's okay if nap 2 is getting shorter (30-45 minutes). It becomes less and less restorative as you near the transition to 1 nap so don't fret!

18 month sleep regression

This regression can center around several transitions.
1.Your toddler is probably walking by this age and extremely active.

2. They are also learning that they can say, "No." Yikes, that's terrifying! 😩

This new defiance is rough, but stay firm with your sleep expectations. When our boundaries aren't firm and clear, we actually encourage our toddler to keep testing those boundaries because they get stuck in testing mode.

3. The 2-1 nap transition has probably happened by now but I notice a prevalent problem with this transition.

Parents may make the switch but they never move bedtime earlier. Sometimes this isn't a problem right away but over time, it leads to overtiredness that rears it's ugly head in night wakings, early wake ups, bedtime protesting, and nap refusals.

To combat this, a good rule of thumb is to avoid more than 5 hours between the end of nap and bedtime.

4. Lastly, separation anxiety peaks again. Ugh. I know it's tempting to stay in the room and sneak out after they fall asleep but I would encourage you to not do that (unless, of course, you don't mind continuing it).

What I see happen here is that the child takes longer and longer to settle at bedtime with Mom or Dad in the room. Then, they may start resisting sleep hardcore because they recognize that when they fall asleep, you leave.

Plus, if they get used to you staying with them at bedtime, then any night waking, they are sure to expect the same!

Be sure to check out my blog Toddler sleep & why it sucks for more helpful info on this stage.

24 month sleep regression

Going through the 2 year sleep regression? Here are 4 common problem areas I see:

Naptime is not optional- Yup, I said it. Of course, we can't control if our child naps but we can control the consistency with which we offer naptime.

Naptime should happen everyday, regardless of whether or not they actually sleep. We need to keep the framework in place so that when their nap strike is over, they can seamlessly fall back into naps.

Don’t give up on napping and don’t cut it short. If you reach the end of nap time and your toddler has yet to nap, be sure to offer an early bedtime so that they aren’t a wreck that night.

Testing Limits- Your toddler is good at testing boundaries. And they should be! Boundary testing is an important part of their learning and development! But as parents, our job is to hold the important boundaries firm so that your child can figure out what you expect of them.

They will keep pushing and pushing until they understand exactly where that limit is. And they can’t know where the limit is if we, as parents, don’t show them.

This, I believe, is the main reason why toddler sleep can get so out of hand. We give a little here, we give a little there, and before we know it, our toddler is testing every single limit that we have around sleep. In the end we feel like we are constantly fighting them so we just give up and find ourselves in a sleep situation that we never wanted to be in.

FOMO- Your toddler can totally understand now that just because they go to bed, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is going to bed. Understandably, they don’t want to miss out on all the fun!

This can cause those nap refusal and bedtime battles. Unfortunately, there’s not much we can do on this front. Your toddler still needs an earlier bedtime than Mom and Dad, even though they will likely protest this.

Night Time Fears- There's a lot to unpack with this issue so instead I'll direct you to my previous podcast or blog about night fears and how to handle them.

My motto for handling baby sleep regressions

Can I be honest about something? Sleep regressions are a bit of a mystery. There is no magic list of sleep regressions. (Yes, I realize the irony of this after giving you a month by month list above!)

But here's the thing. Regressions are a bit of a mystery because your baby is not a robot. Sometimes they struggle with sleep for no logical reason. Sometimes they go through milestones differently than the baby next to them. Sometimes you don't know if it's a sleep regression or sniffles or teething or a full moon!

And that is really hard as parents. We want to know WHY and WHAT is causing the issue with our children. When we don't know the why & what, we feel so much more helpless. When we can blame it on a regression or teething, we feel better. This is kind of just a normal part of parenting.

Given that sleep regressions can kind of happen all over the place, I want to give you my motto for dealing with a regression in your child's sleep.

Don't start anything you don't wish to continue.

Now, this advice is harder to put into practice than it is to say, I fully understand that. But when we rush in, or we change up sleep expectations, or we lose our confidence in children's ability to fall asleep, we can get stuck there. And that sleep regression that may have only lasted for a week or two has now been happening for a month.

I want to be clear about what I'm NOT saying. I'm NOT saying that you have to ignore your child or that you can't offer comfort when it's needed. You CAN do those things! Just be mindful of how much you are helping and what your child has been capable of up until this point. Try not to over-help and always be curious about what is the least amount of help you can offer so that their sleep isn't totally derailed during these regressions.

Oh how I wish there was actually a way to skip baby sleep regressions. They truly suck 😂

Unfortunately, it's a part of parenting that we don't get to skip. Like most things with kids, some will be hit hard by sleep regressions and others will hardly be bothered. While there are no fool proof ways to skip regressions, I hope this run-down was helpful to you!

Nobody likes separation anxiety. Not the parent, not the child, and definitely not the person you are passing your child off too! Unfortunately it's just one of those growing pains for children that we all go through.

Listen in as Kayla and I share our own experiences with separation anxiety and leave you with some solid tips for handling separation anxiety like a boss without compromising sleep in the process.

Also see:

Four tips to handle separation anxiety without compromising sleep

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Episode 8: How to handle separation anxiety like a boss

How to handle separation anxiety like a boss. we are going to talk about separation anxiety, which everybody loves separation anxiety, right? Yeah, it is kind of a current favorite over here. So this will be really great for us to talk about. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I know that Kayla, you can relate to this, for sure. So many parents I've talked to it's separation anxiety. Now, when it happens in this age we're in is just so much harder, because so many of our kids have been with us 24, seven, or, you know, have not been around other caregivers as much as usual because of COVID. And so it just makes it that much more frustrating, and so much more of a struggle. Absolutely, we are definitely there. And I'll be excited to kind of share our stories. Because I know that we are on over here, we've been at the very, very, like, most extreme COVID bubble out of anybody that I know. So I have, I have a little bit of insight into what that looks like how we've handled it, that type of thing. So if you're anywhere between, not as I don't know, not as what's, what's the word I'm looking for? strict or Yeah, that is strict, or Yeah, you're on one martius part of this. Yes. If you're on one part of the spectrum or the other. How to handle separation anxiety like a boss I think that we definitely have some advice that we can give you there. Yes, yeah. So let's talk a little about why separation anxiety happens. So really, it can happen anytime, after usually around six months. That is when object permanence happens, which, if you haven't heard of object permanence, basically, it means, you know, you put a ball in front of your baby, you take the ball away and put it behind your back, when they've reached object permanence, they understand that that ball still exists, even though it's they can't see it. And before that point, they they don't recognize that, okay, mom or dad exist outside of myself, when they're, you know, in a different room. And so when they do realize that, it just means they're gonna miss you more, and they're going to, you know, have a harder time separating from you. So yeah, lots of fun there. Usually, you know, it can peak it, it's different for every child, but we see a lot of it kind of peeking around that eight month range. And then around 18 months, those I would say, are the peak times when, at least on my end, I hear of it disrupting sleep a lot, doesn't mean that you can't have a 10 month old or a 13 month old who also struggles with it. But those are just some typical times where it really rears its ugly head. Okay, so you kind of talked about why separation anxiety happens, and when we can usually see it, but how does it present? What does it look like so that our audience knows what they can be looking out for? Yeah, what to look for. So typically, it's going to be any time that you know, your child is maybe suddenly freaking out or upset when you leave the room. Maybe you're not even leaving the room, but you're leaving their field of vision. You know, they can't see you because you are, you know, on the other side of a wall or something, anytime that you're kind of leaving their field of vision. How to handle separation anxiety like a boss That's when it can happen. And you know, it's just going to be protesting and sometimes it's going to present more with that primary caregiver and it may not present with anyone else. So if you're a stay at home mom, you may only experience it when you're leaving their field division, it may not be when their other caregivers leave. Or it could be when any caregiver you know is leaving their field division. It just depends on the child. A lot of times we will see it in tears at daycare drop off or at nap and bedtime, which is why we're talking about this because those are times when you will be setting them down. Leaving. So that's usually what it's going to present at the end. Kayla, I know that you, you know, like you said, you guys have dealt with this on and off, you've dealt with it. Maybe a little to the extreme side, I'm sure you would say because of COVID. And absolutely, just share some of your experience about what you guys have gone through. Sure. Okay, so our our smallest child irey, he is on his way to being two years old. So most of his life has been COVID. He has been to one restaurant, he has been to a grocery store one time. So his experiences have been us and at home. And I am immunocompromised. So I was really big on not letting anybody in that includes when we moved all the way back to my hometown, that includes, you know, my best friend, that includes my mom not coming in. And so we rely heavily my husband and I on each other. I am a stay at home parent. And so that first kind of eight month one, I remember not being as big, but it was way bigger with me. I'm sorry, I kind of always say I don't know if any of you guys watched the show dinosaurs. How to handle separation anxiety like a boss But the baby on there slaps the dad with a pan and says that the mama at our house, it is very much mama and not the mama. And everybody that is not me is not the mama. So we had a little bit of that happened. But like most recently, I'd say starting around 18 months, and it has not been the linear for us. It hasn't been like he had this bout of separation anxiety for two weeks. And then it was done. It's been like here and there. And it's lasted a couple days or only one night. It kind of started when my husband and my oldest went on vacation. And he was cutting his teeth. So it was always like really hard to like, okay, is he cutting his teeth? Is it separation anxiety? Is it both? But I very much erred on the to he get his Tylenol? Did he get his sippy? So does he have a clean diaper is he fed, if he's hurting that I take care of that. And if I've done everything that I can to deal with that, then it's up to him to deal with the rest. And he needs to learn how to handle not being with us and what that looks like for him. And so I may be on an extreme side of taking care of it. But once all of his needs that I could I could handle myself were taken care of then I left the rest up to him. Yeah, no. And I love how you say that because you made sure that his needs were addressed. And what I think I think we get into Oh, I don't know, we get into the wrong headspace sometimes about separation anxiety, and we like feel like we need to protect them from having these feelings. And we don't write like we don't have to protect them from ever feeling uncomfortable from being frustrated. We want them to experience that. And my perspective is an especially in your case, you know, where I'm Murray has, for a very long time, fallen asleep on his own. He knows his crib, like that is his safe place. It's not a new foreign place for him. And so there's nothing wrong with us using and I would actually say that's a great everyday practice for him to learn. How to handle separation anxiety like a boss Like when you go into your crib, you're in a safe space that you know, and it's sleep time. And you always see that mom comes back Mom always comes back after a nap time Mom always comes back in the morning. I mean, what better way to deal with separation anxiety than that predictability and that constant like day in day out pattern that he's seen for months and months and months. Right. And I think that one of the important things to remember is is that this is like the first bout of separation anxiety that your kid's gonna gonna feel but then you know, our goal right as parents is to get our kids to a place of independence and whatever that means And so getting your kid to independently sleep and then to get your your kid to go to school, you know, they're gonna feel separation anxiety again there and then when you take them to college, like all of those things are different bouts of separation anxiety that you have as a kid and so these are skills that are going to continue to build. We just need that foundation. Yeah, I just think I don't know sometimes I just feel like he Know what nap time and sleep time is like this perfectly built in way for us to slowly work on that independence, right to just gradually get it there and there because they get that practice every day. And we also know from, you know, the mental health aspect, the stay at home parent aspect, even if you're not a stay at home parent, you need that time to yourself to you know, it's, it's I mean, I'm sure there are some families that do not mind being attached to their little ones 24 seven, if you've been listening to this podcast, you know, me and Kayla are not those families. That is not our experience or our personalities. How to handle separation anxiety like a boss And I don't think there's a right or wrong way. But for me, that is so important. And that nap and bedtime gives me what I need, gives them what they need. And I just think it's so usually important. Absolutely. Okay, so if you if we're talking about the separation anxiety, how can we get to a place where both we feel comfortable, and maybe we can kind of slowly get our kids to feel more comfortable with being separated from us. So I have a couple things that I recommend doing, you know, the first one, and this is something that we can be doing from the very beginning with our children is practicing leaving them, you know, so that that doesn't have to be like huge things where we're leaving them for days at a time or for hours at a time, it could literally be like mom, leaving the child with the other caregiver, so that she can go out and go for a 10 minute walk around the block, you know, practicing those bouts of being away, and you can work up to them being longer so that you can be gone for hours, you can be gone for days, you know if that's something that that you're wanting to do. But just having those blocks of practicing from the very beginning can really be helpful. How to handle separation anxiety like a boss And you know, with COVID, right now, if that's just leaving them with your significant other, or you know, with one trusted person that you're kind of having in your social circle, that's okay. If that's more people, if that's having a babysitter, you know, if that's having grandparents, watch them, whoever that may be, but get that practice so that they are familiar with being away from you and leaving your side. And I know, it may sound kind of silly. But we did do this last summer, I was able to let my mom come in a few times. And we actually, this is very type A of me that which is pretty on point. But I practiced with her and I did the Okay, I'm just gonna run, I would drop him off at my mom's house. But first, she would come over here because I know that this environment is somewhere that he knows. And so she would come over here would be like, Okay, I'm going to go get a sweet tea from McDonald's. And I believe and I'd be gone for literally four or five minutes, I'd come back in, maybe he screamed the whole time. Maybe he didn't. It really just depended and we got him. Honestly, guys, we like trained him so that he was comfortable so that my husband and I could leave for a half day for our anniversary. So it sounds silly, but you are essentially training your child to be ready for whatever it is. So and it hasn't worked. So we may be back to square one Now, again, but considering we haven't done it so long, but at that time it worked. Yeah, and it is it's just all about giving, you know, you are giving eimeria those experiences of being with someone else where you were away, so he could experience it, see that everything was fine. See that you come back. So next time, the idea is it's not going to seem as stressful because he will have that previous experience, you know, and, and yeah, that's huge. I cannot overstate how much that helps. The next thing I would recommend is not sneaking away. And I know this is a hard one. How to handle separation anxiety like a boss I think this is kind of the default sometimes. So you know, if we're experiencing separation anxiety at the daycare drop off maybe and so we stay with them, we get them distracted by something and then we sneak out. Or if we're dealing with it at sleep time. Maybe we stay in the room until they've settled until they're drowsy until they're asleep. And then we sneak out. Typically that's not what I recommend. Because that's not necessarily giving them that chance to process like Oh Yes, mom is leaving or dad is leaving. And then especially with sleep, what it can actually do is they start to learn Like, okay, when I fall asleep, that's when mom leaves. And so I'm gonna resist sleep more, because I really don't want mom to leave. And so it can kind of play into that just making it take longer and longer until they go to sleep, or you start experiencing the night wakings. And then you have to come back in, lay down on the floor with them until they fall asleep, sneak out again, and it just kind of starts to recap. So I don't recommend sneaking away instead, I would say, be calm, be confident. Leave like you normally would, you know, let them know, it's it's okay to narrate and say, I know you're upset. I know, you don't want me to leave. It's sleep time, I'm going to leave now be competent, leave. And and leave it at that, you know, yeah. And make it I mean, don't obviously don't make it rushed or anything but make it like she said very confident, very, you know, kind of quick, short term, so that it's not like, you know, if they start getting upset that you're like, comforting them. And like, I'm not saying don't comfort your kids, but you know, like so that you're not catering to them, you need like, you're the person that's in charge. So you, you know, this is how it's going to be and this is what we're doing. And I'll be back in a couple hours or whatever. So that they kind of know or if you don't know, our house, obviously our kids don't know time. So like I'll say, like, I'll be back before dinner, Mommy will be home for dinner. So that they can kind of understand that mommy is coming back and she'll be eating with us or whatever that looks like. Yeah, yeah. And that's a good point, Kayla, like when we linger, that shows them that we are after our Well, that's you. Yes, yes, it shows that. Okay, there's a cause and effect here. And that definitely happens as they get older. It's, it's not, I would not say it's manipulation. But they can understand cause and effect I do this mom responds this way. Yeah, so it's normal for them to use those patterns and to play off those patterns. But then also lingering is going to show that you're unsure that you yourself are feeling anxious, and that is not going to help the situation. How to handle separation anxiety like a boss So usually, if we're leaving, you know, either quickly, or just like we usually would, that is going to help convey that calm confidence to them. The third thing I would really recommend is just having your consistent routines. When you're dealing with separation anxiety, I know there's a strong urge to change up all your routines and to do things differently. But what you need to remember is that consistent routine to them, that is safety, that is predictability, that is comfort. And so when we change things that can actually add more anxiety into the mix, because they're like, okay, now what's happening this time and what's happening this time. Whereas if we just do the same thing every time and they know that routine to expect, they're not going to have that wondering what's coming next. Yeah, and guys, you don't have to be afraid to be, you know, to type a or whatever, I will go ahead and give you permission. Now I wrote, when I was pregnant with my second I wrote an entire binder that had different, like, different files in it of this is what we do in the morning. These are the breakfast that my son likes, like it was an entire binder guys, I'm not kidding. But the thing about that that was important to me is that I can't control when I'm going to be having the second child, right. I had no control on that. But what I did have control over was okay, he knows what bedtime looks like he knows that he will get to do A, B and C before bedtime, regardless of who is taking care of him. And so it was important for me that he felt safe, even if it wasn't me that was there. So I don't know, it's very, very important for me, for my kid to feel safe and wherever he's at. And so being able to give him at least that kind of made all the difference in me when I was gone, but also knowing that he was fine as well. Another vote for writing things down. I mean, when my first was born, I worked outside of the home and I worked weird hours. And my mom watched Ethan a lot when he was a baby. And I wrote everything down. And I mean, I think probably at first she was a little annoyed, but it really helped both of them to thrive. And it also helped me to know what happened, what she was doing. If it was a weird day for some reason know where it went wrong. Yeah, that's that's huge. I love writing things down and giving them to people and saying here, please follow this. Yeah, and I hope that one day We really can't get like our moms on to talk about what this experience was like for them when they watched our kids and like, what they would do differently, all of that kind of stuff, because I think it would be really interesting to get mother or mother in law's perspective of his parents. Ooh, yeah. And I know, we've talked about this, like, we know that they did things very differently from how we do things. So I like that I like that future episode idea. We're gonna have to work on that. Okay. So last thing I would say when we're dealing with separation, anxiety, and sleep, and I've kind of hinted at this the whole way. But I really just want us to be putting things in perspective. And just reminding ourselves that bedtime and naptime those are everyday, safe, predictable opportunities for your child to learn that you always come back, when you say you will, that you always come back, they know the routine, what better way for them to learn this and to work through the separation anxiety than in the safety of their home, you know, day in and day out with you. So I think that's huge. And I know sometimes, you know, we may think about separation anxiety in a daycare setting when you drop your child off with a different caregiver, and they may have separation anxiety. And yeah, that's frustrating. And that sucks. But usually, none of us are like quitting our jobs or calling off that day to stay with them during that separation anxiety, right? We're like, you know what, this is a part of life and we comfort them, we leave, we go about our day. But for some reason, when it comes to bedtime and naptime, it's a lot harder to kind of stick with our, you know, attitude, right? This is part of life, and we're still going to do business as usual. So I don't know where that disconnect happens. But I would just encourage you keep it in perspective. And just remember it is it's just a great built in way every day for them to figure this separation out and that you always come back. Alright guys, that's it for us today. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast about separation anxiety. And remember, if you can follow along on Instagram, follow all the sleeps. Carrie and I will be talking about separation anxiety throughout the week, so that you guys can get a little bit more help with that. And thank you so much for listening again, guys. We love you. Thank you so much for listening to the sleep talking moms podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a second to rate and review. Each review helps more tired and overwhelmed moms find simple and practical sleep advice. See you back here soon. How to handle separation anxiety like a boss

Ever felt like sleep was going great... and then your child learned a brand new motor skill? It can be so frustrating but it is a normal part of that baby life unfortunately.

Join us as we talk through troubleshooting for these common issues and how to handle them when they mess with sleep:

•Rolling

•Crawling

•Standing

•Walking

Safe Sleep Blog

Short Nap Freebie

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Episode 7: Navigating new skills and sleep

Navigating new skills and sleep

Hey guys and welcome back to episode seven of the sleep talking moms podcast today Carianna and I are going to be talking about new skills, and how they can disrupt the sleep process. So, this can be throughout babyhood toddlerhood we're talking, rolling crawling, when they pull up to stand. When they start learning how to do gymnastics, and even things like learning how to talk, and how those impacts sleep cycles, probably both have stories for this but, yeah, absolutely.

I have my own stories for sure and this is something I hear so much from families like sleeps going well and then something changes, you know, and that kind of on one end. It really sucks, because things are constantly in flux with our little ones like there's just so much growing and developing we have to be ready to roll with the punches right and it is it's just like chess right when you get it down, and things are going smooth, and then all of a sudden,

they learn how to crawl.

And so, yes, I very vividly remember being like, Yes, I got it. This is good but then always having that like fear of like, Okay, wait. Things are good but that doesn't mean they're going to be good students are like always having that constant anxiety of like it's too good to be true, something's gonna happen.

Yes, yes I can relate to that too and it's you know it's hard not to live there, but, but I do want to make sure like that we aren't living there where we're, we're either anxious about sleeping bad, or it's good and we're still anxious about when it's gonna mess up again, you know that I find I find a lot of parents get stuck there. And that's not, you know, helpful to anyone. No, that's no way to live. Right, exactly. Be prepared. Be prepared, and then remind yourself of the positives right. It's good that y

our child is developing

and growing these are things you want them to do, you know as much as you don't want sleep to be disrupted. You don't want that at the expense of them learning new things growing, yeah. Well, and I was going to share, you know when my second son, who is now five years but when he was, I don't know, around six months he started rolling a lot in the crib, and he would get stuck.

And yes, this may sound weird to some of you listening because I feel like everybody in their mom has video monitors now, but at that time, we just had an audio monitor that was all we had. And we had never owned one with my first son, we just had an audio monitor, And when my son started rolling and

getting stuck. I was like, I convinced my husband,

we needed a video monitor because I'm like, I want to be able to see if he's stuck and that's why he's in there making noise or if he's just in there making noise, you know, yeah. So that was when we first bought our video monitor so we can see like, oh yep he rolled over in the corner and he is like, stuck at a weird angle he needs help, or oh nope, he's just up there and awaken, we're gonna give him space, you know, thank you video monitors they are, they do come in handy and it's always like,

Okay, you watch it and you're like Okay wait. Okay. Navigating new skills and sleep Is he gonna, can you get out can you get out, do I have to come in. No, you do that, wait period. I don't know, it's also really great to watch them be able to pull up and crawl and roll and all of those things but we all wanted so desperately for them to do. Yes, but also it make us very tired, which is fine too. Yeah and I mean,

Kayla, let me ask you from a mom perspective,

I mean, when, when you have a child going through one of these new skills learning one of these things. What, what is your typical response or approach when sleep is disrupted like what do you try to do so. Thanks to you, and everything that I have learned being your best friend and supporting you and all of that.

My biggest thing has just been to give space, and to allow them to kind of figure it out, because just with any other thing that has to do with independence sleeping, there's a learning curve, and there's an independence. And so, letting them kind of figure it out,

guide and not always be the person that's

coming in constantly trying to fix everything, than the biggest key honestly for all of sleeping but especially as they learn new skills.
Yeah, I'm a big fan of giving space to I mean, as much as you can and, and not to say that you can't go in and comfort if they're having a hard time, but when they're learning something new.

It can be easy to fall into those habits of like, all of a sudden, helping them to sleep where you didn't before or doing extra things to get them to sleep that you didn't need to do before. You know, I would say, a lot of times I hear from moms like, you know,

they were in there they were crawling around they were happy, but it was nap time and I didn't want them to get overtired,

so I just went in and rock them to sleep. And I think my approach to that is like, Oh no, don't, don't do that especially if they're happy like don't disrupt that let them get that practice out, they will sleep when they're ready because you've given them the tools to do so but don't feel like you have to, okay it's nap time and if they're not asleep in 10 minutes, I have to go in and make them sleep. I think that's kind of a common pitfall. Around this time, yes.

Okay, so just to like kind of recap, we kind of are saying, if they're not upset, give them the space. And then also, you kind of started to hit on giving them an opportunity to practice these skills before, get these little kiddos tired.

Yes, to give them plenty of time and space to work on it during awake time so that it doesn't feel so novel, when they're in their crib, you know, if they are, for some reason being held constantly all awake time or they just don't have much time down on the floor playing, then when you put them in their crib and they're free, it's like, Oh, it's this novel thing I haven't been free all day.

Now I'm going to practice this skill

so I mean, and that that really applies for whether you're going through a disruption or not you want to be giving them space on the floor to play, to work on those skills as they're ready to, yeah, and then to kind of, since you were kind of recapping kale, I think, you know, the next step is. Okay, so what if my child's in there, and they're unhappy.

So like for example the rolling one is huge, where a baby can now roll, so they roll from back to belly, they get on their belly, and they're mad about it or they kind of get a little stuck there, you know, or it can happen with pulling up to stand if they're newly doing that, they'll pull up to stand and just wail and maybe they're stuck there maybe they're not but they're just like standing up, you know, kind of calling for you. Yeah. Which is, nobody likes that that's not fun.

I feel like the pulling up to stay and milestone also tends to correspond a lot with separation anxiety

with that like first bout around eight, nine months. And so the combination of them pulling up to stand and calling for you because they don't want you to leave like it just hurts your heart. It does and we are we have on our list to talk about separation anxiety at a later time but you know with those skills where they're working on them, and they're upset. Navigating new skills and sleep I think it's always okay to go in and comfort. We just want to try to not Russian right we don't want our instinct to ever be that we have to Russian.

And then we want to just be curious about how little can I help them, and then be okay and then be able to fall asleep, instead of rushing you know straight towards that, you know, number one thing that you know oh if I do that they'll be asleep within a minute, right, right, so don't start any new habits that you're not willing to continue, basically, which is like a huge part of sleep training just in general, but, like, a good reminder especially when these new skills come in.

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I think this is an important time to just remind parents especially first time parents back to bed, but if they can roll it is okay that they're on their belly. I know that it is very, very anxiety inducing when you see your kid roll on your belly and you're like no no no you're not, you're not. Yes, they can roll, they are okay.

Yes, I'm so glad you said that because it is just drilled into our brains back for sleeping and that is very important in those early months before they can roll like we know that back sleeping greatly reduces the risk of SIDS, but once they can roll, even if they can roll back to belly, but they can't get from belly to back, they have still shown that they have the strength to be there on their tummy, and as long as they're getting there.

It's okay and and another thing Navigating new skills and sleep I hear a lot of parents when, when a baby will start rolling, they'll be like, well they're laying like facedown on the mattress like I have to go move them. And as long as your sleep space is clear and free like there's nothing in their crib with them, there's nothing they can get tangled on, they are okay, yes, even if they are laying face down on the mattress because the baby mattresses are created to not conform to their face that's why a firm mattress is important.

That's why, you know, we typically don't recommend adult beds because they are not firm, they are squishy and have give, but that crib will not conform to their mouth and so even as painful as it is to see them lay like that.

They're okay if they got there themselves, and then while we're on the topic of safe sleep and new skills. Let's talk a minute about mesh bumpers, when new skills are happening. Honestly a lot of them rolling crawling, pulling up to sand, I mean any kind of gymnastics. So along with that can come, bumping their head into the crib. And, you know, them getting a limb kind of stuck out between the slats like those things just naturally happen as they become more mobile.

And so a lot of times, the question comes, how do I keep that from happening, you know, and that's where things like bumpers come in, and I guess my biggest advice would be don't add bumpers, they're not considered safe, even the mesh ones are not considered safe, because they have not been tested vigorously with your crib, like the crib itself and the mattress has been so I don't recommend those.

Navigating new skills and sleep

I'm sad I just say, let's be patient. Let's give them time to figure out, you know, the limits of their crib and if they bump their head or if they get a leg stuck out, we can always go in and help them. Another good thing for this if it's happening, try a sleep sack, it's not like a completely, you know it's not going to solve the problem 100% But it can help. If you notice they're getting a leg stuck in a crib slat.

Navigating new skills and sleep

The other thing I would say too and this one may be harder to do but if you are feeling like sleep is just really disrupted or if you have a little one who's constantly getting stuck, even though you've given them time, they you know maybe it's been weeks that it's been going on, you can always opt to use a pack and play for a temporary amount of time or permanently honest idea.

Yeah, because the sides are mash and so they can't get a limb stuck, and if they bump their head against the side it's not quite like bumping their head against the side of the crib bars so that's always an option, a pack and play is the safe, you know, sleep approved space, and while some families wouldn't use them or wouldn't consider using them long term other families use them almost exclusively for sleep and it's, there's no problem there.

So at this point I want to point you guys to my Instagram profile where I have several highlights about various topics but one specifically is called new skills and I go much more in depth about the rolling the crawling the standing, so if you are in one of those spaces right now where you're dealing with a new skill you're not really sure how to handle it what to do, head to that highlight called new skills that will be really helpful for you. and then I know we also talked a little about safe sleep and if you have any questions or concerns about safe sleep.

I have a blog that I will link in the show notes as well and you guys always know you can send me a DM send me an email let me know if you have questions or concerns about that because we do, we do believe that safe sleep is important and so I just want to make sure everyone has the resources they need for that.

Navigating new skills and sleep
Alright guys, that ends today's episode. Thank you so much for listening. We appreciate you all.
Thank you so much for listening to the sleep talking moms podcast. If you enjoyed this episode please take a second to rate and review each review helps more tired and overwhelmed moms find simple and practical sleep advice. See you back here soon.