A common concern I hear is: "How do I teach my baby to fall asleep without my help?" The answer, "Sleep coaching!"

Now, there is WAY more to sleep coaching than just the sleep coaching method that you use but I thought it would be helpful to share my run down of the different options.

A couple important notes

1. You can absolutely sleep train on your own if you read all the things, are confident in what you're doing, and can hold yourself accountable. That's what I did with my oldest!

2. There is no sleep coaching method that is truly tear-free. In fact I think it's really unfair to expect that or to "market" that. A method that is truly tear free is either V E R Y slow & you're looking at months of small changes or you got lucky with a baby who's temperament is extremely easy going. If crying is holding you back, I highly recommend reading this article by parenting expert Janet Lansbury AND checking out my myth buster post about sleep training being damaging.

3. There is a lot more that goes into sleep coaching than just the method so I am not an advocate for just putting a baby down and letting them cry if we haven't looked at the situation holistically first.

4. The specific sleep coaching method you choose actually has very little to do with success. I've used all these methods successfully. What counts is your follow through and consistency!

 

If you’ve come to the conclusion that you need to do some sleep coaching with your child, this post is a nice overview of your options. 

 

Ok, let’s get down to business.

Here is a continuum of several popular sleep coaching methods

As you can see, the methods I'll run through below range from very hands on to very hands off. Wherever you choose to hop in is just fine!

Crib-side Soothing

Works best for babies under the age of 6-8 months but can be overstimulating for babies over this age.

This method requires that after laying your baby down awake you step back from the crib and listen. If/when your baby cries, you can go to them and offer comfort while they stay crib-side. You can even pick up after a couple minutes if the aren't calming with the crib-side comfort. Once your baby has calmed in your arms then you lay them back down (while still awake) in their crib. These steps are repeated over and over until the child falls asleep.

Pros: This is a very hands on method and allows you to be right there the whole time as your child figures this new thing out.

Cons: Can be very tiring, can take the longest out of all the methods, parents must be able to remain calm and not anxious around baby.

 

Chair Method

Works best for 8+ month olds. I also like this method for toddlers, especially if you are transitioning from your bed to their own or if you usually lay with your toddler as they fall asleep.

This method allows you to stay in the room in a chair next to the crib/bed. You can provide some brief comfort to your child but they are still in charge of putting themselves to sleep. Every couple of nights you move the chair further and further away from the crib until you are out the door!

Pros: This method allows you to be very hands on at first and then work your way towards hands off as your child gets more used to sleeping without you.

Cons: Can take longer since you have to work your way out of the room, requires the parent to not become frustrated or anxious while they wait for their child to fall asleep.

Check Ins

Works best for children who are 2+ years in age. Not recommended for babies.

The point of this method is to start with frequent, quick checks on your child that gradually space out. These checks happen whether the child is upset or not. The frequency and consistency help toddlers and preschoolers because they come to trust that these checks will happen and it allows them to relax and fall asleep versus thinking of ways to get you back in the room. These checks typically are spaced out as so: One at 30-45 seconds, one at 60 seconds, one at 1.5 minutes, one at 2 minutes, etc.

Pros: Can be very calming for anxious children once they figure out what is going on, can turn into a fun nightly ritual!

Cons: You will need a way to keep your child in their room if they are currently in a bed, this can be very labor-intensive the first few days so you'll need the time set aside for these checks.

 

Quick Checks

Works best for babies over the age of 4 months and can be used up to several years of age depending on your situation.

This method requires that after laying your child down awake you leave the room. You only return to provide brief and boring reassurance at set intervals. Depending on the approach you take, it could be consistent intervals or progressively longer intervals. This method gives your child the space to turn inward for self-soothing while also assuring them that you are still right there.

Pros: Quicker approach than previous methods. allows parents to deal with other children while sleep training (for example if Mom is home alone during the day, she can still watch her other children while nap training).

Cons: Mom and Dad have to feel comfortable with leaving the room as their child is crying

 

Extinction

Works best for families who want to see very quick results and for children over 6 months of age.

With this method, you would put your child in their crib or bed awake and leave the room. You would not return until time for their overnight feeding or morning if they no longer feed overnight.

Pros: Very quick results (usually 2-3 nights), some children will respond best to no parent in the room and no checks if you've tried checks and they just seem to rile them up and drag out the process.

Cons: This is not a good method for every family and not one that I typically use with my clients unless they request it.

Alright, there's your run-down of sleep coaching methods! I hope this was helpful for you to see the options out there. Also, know that while these are the "popular" methods, I tend to mix and match them together as it suites my clients, their needs, and their goals!