Psst! Scroll to the very bottom to see my screen grabs for easy reference!

Eeek! Daylight Saving Time is ending, but it doesn't have to feel like the end of the world!

I have 2 different plans of action below to help you survive this time shift:

Nighttime fears can make bedtime feel extra exhausting for both you and your child. If you’ve ever found yourself in a cycle of reassurance, endless negotiations, or last-minute sleep disruptions, you’re not alone. But the way you respond to these fears plays a huge role in how your child processes them.

If you hesitate, over-comfort, or try to "solve" the fear, your child learns that fear = something to be scared of.

If you stay calm, set limits, and respond consistently, your child learns that fear = something they can handle.

So, how do you respond in a way that builds confidence instead of reinforcing fear? Here’s what I DO (and DON’T do) when my child is scared at night:

✅ DO: Talk about fears—but during the day

Addressing fears in a safe and neutral environment helps your child process them without triggering an immediate fear response. Daytime discussions allow for problem-solving and reassurance without bedtime anxiety taking over.

❌ DON’T: Engage in long bedtime discussions. If your child brings up their fears at bedtime, keep your response short and reassuring. The goal is to reinforce that they are safe—not to make fears feel bigger by diving into long conversations when they’re already in a heightened emotional state.

✅ DO: Stay calm, confident, and reassuring

Your child takes cues from you. If you remain composed and treat their fear as no big deal, they’ll be more likely to believe you. Confidence is contagious! For help with being confident and consistent, check out my free download: 6 scripts to end bedtime stalling

❌ DON’T: Waver or hesitate when setting limits. If your child asks to sleep with you and you say, “Probably not,” they’ll keep pushing for a different answer. Be clear, be firm, and reinforce that they are safe in their own bed.

✅ DO: Offer comforting strategies they can rely on

Provide your child with practical, tangible tools to feel secure at night. Some great options include:

• A special stuffed animal for comfort
• Deep breathing techniques
• Flipping their pillow as a “reset” cue

❌ DON’T: Use monster spray. While well-intentioned, tools like "monster spray" imply that protection is needed—reinforcing that their fears are real rather than helping them build confidence.

✅ DO: Expose them to their room in safe ways

Give your child small moments of exposure to their sleep environment in a fun, low-pressure way. Try playing in their dark room during the day with flashlights to help normalize the space.

❌ DON’T: Expect the fear to disappear overnight. Like all sleep skills, confidence takes practice. Be patient, stay consistent, and remind yourself that small steps forward are still progress.

Remember...

When you respond with confidence and consistency, your child learns: I am safe, and I can handle this.

If your toddler is suddenly struggling with sleep—even after being a great sleeper—there’s help. My Toddler Sleep Reset is designed for parents of 2-5-year olds facing new bedtime battles, night wakings, or early mornings.

Want expert-backed sleep strategies to tackle nighttime fears and more? Let’s get you a plan that works. Get access to this workshop today!

Wondering why bedtime battles happen? If you’re negotiating with your child at bedtime every night, I’ve got some tough love for you…

You are the problem. Not your child.

I know, that stings a little. But hear me out—because the good news is, that means you also have the power to fix it.

Why negotiating at bedtime makes sleep harder

If you’ve ever found yourself saying:

❌ “I just couldn’t convince her to let me leave the room.”
❌ “He wouldn’t listen when I said it was bedtime.”
❌ “She kept asking for just one more book, one more sip of water, one more hug…”

…then bedtime has turned into a debate in your house. And that debate? That’s the real source of your sleep struggles.

Kids thrive on consistency. But when bedtime is a nightly negotiation, the message they’re getting isn’t “this is our bedtime routine,” it’s “I have to push and push to see if I can get more.”

So how do we fix this? By taking the negotiation out of bedtime completely. Here’s how:

Move bedtime to an age-appropriate time

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is pushing bedtime later and later, hoping it will make things easier. But here’s the truth:

A too-late bedtime leads to an overtired child, which leads to more resistance, more stalling, and more frustration for everyone.

Making sure bedtime is early enough (based on your child’s age and daily naptime) will set you up for success before you even start the routine.

Stick to the exact same bedtime routine—every. single. night.

Repetition is key. Your bedtime routine should be predictable and consistent, so your child knows exactly what to expect.

✔️ Keep it short (30 minutes max)
✔️ Follow the same steps in the same order
✔️ Make a bedtime chart if needed

The more consistent you are, the less pushback you’ll get. Eventually, your child will stop trying to test the limits because they’ll know you aren’t budging.

When it’s lights out, it’s lights out

This is where a lot of parents struggle. The routine is done, but then your child starts pulling out all the stops…

🚨 “Just one more story!”
🚨 “I need another hug!”
🚨 “I’m thirsty!”
🚨 “I have to go potty again!”

The second you engage in this back-and-forth, you’re reinforcing the idea that bedtime is up for negotiation. Instead, you have to make it clear:

⏳ The bedtime routine is over.
💡 The lights are out.
🚪 You’re leaving the room.

And once that happens, you’re done responding. No extra stories, no extra snacks, no extra attention.

The show is over if there’s no audience—so stop being the audience. 🤷‍♀️

Pssst! Need a little extra help with this one? Download my free sample scripts to end bedtime stalling here.

Validate feelings, but hold the boundary

Your child might not like bedtime. They might cry, yell, or protest. And that’s okay! Their feelings are valid.

But validating feelings doesn’t mean changing the boundary. You can acknowledge their frustration while still holding firm.

✔️ “I know you really want to keep playing, but sleep time is here.”

✔️ “You’re feeling upset, and I understand. But it’s time for bed.”

✔️ “Snuggle time is over for tonight. We can snuggle as much as you want in the morning though.”

✔️ “It’s hard when things don’t go the way we want, but our bodies need rest.”

No negotiating. No debating. Just a calm, confident response—and then, bedtime stays bedtime.

Imagine a bedtime without battles…

No more “just five more minutes.”
No more “one more story.”
No more endless back-and-forth.

It is possible. And if bedtime is a struggle in your house, I can help.

If you’re looking for additional tips and resources to tackle bedtime struggles, check out my Toddler & Preschooler Sleep Resources here and find my various free and paid resources designed specifically for children aged 2 to 5. Together, we can sort out those sleep woes and get your family back on track for peaceful nights! 

Sleep training expectations... ah, the blissful world of dreams and perfect sleep schedules! I *know* it is so tempting to live in a bubble of wishful thinking when it comes to baby and toddler sleep, but the reality can be quite different. If you’ve been thinking about sleep training soon, you might be accidentally setting your sights on lofty expectations.

I'm going to set the record straight for you (sorry, not sorry)! But you’ll appreciate this tough love later, I promise. While dreaming of a perfect sleeper can be comforting, these high expectations can lead to disappointment during the sleep training process and prevent you from recognizing the progress your little one is actually making.

Let’s break down some common expectations versus the realities of baby and toddler sleep training, along with my advice to help you navigate this journey.

Sleep training expectation 1: It should only take about 3 nights of sleep training for all my baby’s sleep issues to be fixed.

Reality: Three nights is often not enough to resolve all sleep problems for most families.

My Advice: Approach sleep training with a two week timeframe in mind. This duration allows you to establish a new rhythm and gives your baby the time they need to adjust to changes. Remember, consistency is key, and it might take a little longer to see significant results.

Sleep training expectation 2: Soon my baby will be sleeping 12 hour nights every single night!

Reality: Not all babies are capable of sleeping 12 hours straight, and that’s completely normal.

My Advice: Set a more reasonable goal of around 10 to 12 hours of sleep, depending on your baby’s age and needs. Understand that every child is different, and their sleep patterns can vary. Focus on creating a positive sleep environment, and let’s see what unfolds!

Sleep training expectation 3: Once I sleep train, my child will follow an exact schedule every single day.

Reality: While sleep training can help create more predictable sleep patterns, don’t expect your child to adhere to a rigid schedule.

My Advice: Keep in mind that we are raising little humans, not robots! Flexibility is essential, and small variations in sleep times are entirely normal. Embrace the ebb and flow of your child’s natural rhythm.

Sleep training expectation 4: If I use a really gradual sleep training method, then I won’t have to hear any crying!

Reality: Even the most gradual “no cry” methods may involve some tears.

My Advice: Don’t fear crying. It’s a natural emotional response from your child as they adapt to sleep changes. Understand that your child is expressing their feelings, and that’s okay! Being there to support them through these emotions is crucial, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Ready to tackle sleep training?

With the right approach, sleep training can transform not just your baby’s sleep, but your entire family’s quality of life. If you’re ready to start on this journey and help your baby sleep soundly, check out my Sleep Coaching Crash Course For Babies! This step by step guide will equip you with the tools and confidence you need to navigate sleep training successfully. Let's teach your little one how to love sleep!

Baby monitors have become a must-have for modern parents, offering peace of mind and a chance to peek in on your little one without disturbing their rest. (This is my personal favorite right now) Many of these monitors come equipped with a talk back feature, allowing you to speak directly to your baby or toddler through the monitor. At first glance, it seems like an easy way to soothe your child without stepping into their room.

But before you hit that button, let’s talk about why less is often more when it comes to baby and toddler sleep. Here are two reasons why using the talk back feature might not be as helpful as it seems—and what to do instead for better results.

Reason #1: It can scare your child

Picture this: You’re lying in a dark room, trying to fall asleep, and suddenly you hear a voice speaking to you—yet there’s no one around. Spooky, right?

For many babies and toddlers, hearing a disembodied voice through the baby monitor can feel just as unsettling. They might not understand where the sound is coming from or why they can hear you but not see you. Instead of calming them, the talk back feature can create confusion or even fear, making it harder for them to settle down.

Young children thrive on connection, but that connection is often strongest when it’s face-to-face. If your child needs comfort, consider physically going into their room instead of relying on the monitor. A reassuring touch or your calm presence can be much more effective than an unfamiliar, out-of-context voice.

Reason #2: It sets an expectation for immediate responses

Using the talk back feature can unintentionally create a new sleep challenge: the expectation that every time your child stirs, they’ll hear your voice right away.

This can quickly lead to a cycle where your child begins to wake more frequently, expecting interaction each time. While it may seem harmless at first, it can escalate into a habit where your little one starts "chatting" with you through the monitor during the night, rather than self-settling back to sleep.

Consistency is key to helping children develop independent sleep skills. When you avoid the talk back feature, you’re teaching your child that nighttime is for rest—not for conversations, negotiations, or back-and-forth interactions.

What to do instead

If your child truly needs comfort in the middle of the night, it’s better to go into their room and soothe them directly. A brief visit where you calmly reassure them with your presence and words can work wonders without adding confusion or creating new habits.

A few tips for in-person reassurance:

• Don't rush right into their room. Instead pause, listen, and see if they can resettle without you first. Delaying gratification is key with habitual wakings.
• Keep the lights dim or off to maintain a sleepy atmosphere.
• Use a gentle, soothing voice to reassure them.
• Keep interactions brief to avoid overstimulation.

This approach not only provides the connection your child needs but also gives them the space to fall back asleep without, build confidence in being alone in their room, and helps reinforce healthy sleep boundaries.

Need extra support?

If you’re looking for additional tips and resources to tackle bedtime struggles, I’m here to help! Check out my Toddler & Preschooler Sleep Resources here and find my various free and paid resources designed specifically for children aged 2 to 5. Together, we can sort out those sleep woes and get your family back on track for peaceful nights! 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of sleep training your little one, you’re not alone! Many parents share the same worries and uncertainties, but I'm here to help you navigate this journey with confidence. Sleep training is a valuable tool that can lead to better sleep for both your baby and yourself. Not only do I have some quick answers to your most asked questions about sleep training, but I also have linked a lot of good, free resources to dive even deeper into these answers. Let’s tackle some of the most frequently asked questions to hopefully make the process less intimidating before you get started. 

Will sleep training hurt my bond with my baby?

One of the most common concerns parents have is whether sleep training will negatively impact their relationship with their baby. The answer is a resounding no! In fact, sleep training can strengthen your bond as both you and your baby get the rest you need. A well-rested parent is more emotionally available, attentive, loving, and attuned, which can enhance the connection you have with your little one. So, rest assured, prioritizing sleep is a way to nurture your relationship. To see the research that backs up this answer, head to this blog.

How do I know if we are ready for sleep training?

If sleep feels like a struggle and your current habits seem unsustainable, you are likely ready to consider sleep training. Signs that it's time include frequent night wakings, difficulty falling asleep, or an increasingly cranky baby due to lack of rest. Remember, sleep is crucial for your baby's development, so if it’s becoming a challenge, it’s time to explore your options. I talk more in depth about 4 reasons you might be ready to sleep train here.

How long will sleep training take?

The duration of sleep training can vary depending on your family’s situation and the approach you choose. However, many families report small improvements within just a few days and by 2 weeks of consistency, many families feel they are settling into new habits and already enjoying the benefits of sleep coaching. The key is commitment and consistency. It may seem daunting initially, but with dedication, you’ll be on your way to better sleep before you know it!

Is it okay if my baby cries during sleep training?

It is absolutely normal for crying to occur as your baby learns a new way routine and a new way to fall asleep. Think of it as part of the learning process. You’ll be right there providing comfort and support as they navigate this new skill. Remember, you’re not abandoning your child; you’re teaching them a valuable tool for sleep. I know that crying can be a big hang-up for parents when thinking about sleep training so I have put together this great resource for you all about how to re-frame your thoughts on crying here and here.

What if my baby wakes up hungry in the night?

Nighttime feeds are completely normal for babies, especially in the early months. Sleep training focuses on reducing unnecessary wakings while still allowing for those essential feeds. If your baby is genuinely hungry, it’s important to meet that need. The goal is to create a balance that supports both their nutritional needs and their ability to sleep well. Not sure if your baby is actually hungry overnight or just eating out of habit or comfort? See this blog to find out!

What if my baby is teething or going through a regression? Should I wait to sleep train?

You can absolutely still pursue sleep training during teething or developmental regressions! There’s rarely a “perfect time” for sleep training, as there will always be bumps along the road. Instead of waiting for ideal conditions, consider using gentle sleep training methods that can accommodate your baby’s changing needs. Flexibility is key but don't wait for the "perfect time" to get started or you might find you still haven't made the time until your baby is a preschooler (or older)! Also, I've created this free handy sleep regression flowchart that I think every parent should have! Check it out here.

Ready to tackle sleep training?

With the right approach, sleep training can transform not just your baby’s sleep, but your entire family’s quality of life. If you’re ready to start on this journey and help your baby sleep soundly, check out my Sleep Coaching Crash Course For Babies! This step-by-step guide will equip you with the tools and confidence you need to navigate sleep training successfully. Let's teach your little one how to love sleep!

Hey there, toddler moms! Let’s have some real talk about toddler bedtime routines...

We all know that bedtime can be a struggle. There are a million reasons your little one might resist sleep, but I’m here to share one super simple tip that could make a huge difference in your toddler's bedtime routine. Are you ready for it?

Have a set number of books that you read each night before bed.

Now, that number can be anywhere from 1 to 20—it really doesn’t matter! (although you do want to make sure it's a number of books that you are perfectly okay with reading every. single. night.) What’s crucial is that you stick to that number consistently night after night. This simple act helps your toddler see and understand your bedtime boundaries, making the transition to sleep smoother for everyone involved.

Why consistency matters for toddler bedtime routines

So, why do families who follow this simple tip tend to have more success at bedtime? Great question! 🤷🏻‍♀️

1. They aren’t afraid to say no:
   When you establish a set number of bedtime stories, you empower yourself to say no to those last-minute requests for “just one more book.” Sure, it might come with some protests or tears, but by standing firm, you reinforce the boundaries you've set.
2. Reduces testing behavior:
   Consistent boundaries help prevent your toddler from getting stuck in testing mode. If they know there’s a set number of books every night, they won’t feel the need to constantly push limits, thinking they might get lucky and convince you to read more. When children are conditioned to test boundaries repeatedly, it can lead to frustration for both them and you. By being clear and consistent, you help your toddler understand that bedtime is a process with defined limits.

Building a foundation of calm and clear boundaries for toddler bedtime routines

Having a foundation of clear, consistent, and calm boundaries is hugely important—especially if you’re struggling at bedtime. Implementing this one simple tip about reading a set number of books can be an effective way to start building that foundation.

With your toddler knowing exactly what to expect each night, you can help them feel secure and relaxed, making the transition to sleep much easier.

Need extra support?

If you’re looking for additional tips and resources to tackle bedtime struggles, I’m here to help! Check out my Toddler & Preschooler Sleep Resources here and find my various free and paid resources designed specifically for children aged 2 to 5. Together, we can sort out those sleep woes and get your family back on track for peaceful nights! 

Do you and baby need a sleep change? As a parent, it's not uncommon to hit a rough patch when it comes to sleep. If you’re noticing some unusual behaviors in your baby or feeling more exhausted than usual, it might be time for a change. Here are four signs that you and your little one need to reassess your sleep strategies:

Sign #1: Fighting falling asleep

Does your baby seem to resist sleep more than ever? If they’re fighting the act of falling asleep, it’s a sign that their current sleep habits may no longer be working. Babies who lack independent sleep skills often feel like they need your help to fall asleep. This reliance can lead to frustration, both for you and them, especially as they grow older. Your attempts to help them might have actually become too stimulating, making it even harder for them to settle down. If your child is resisting against you, this is a big sign that they are showing you they need more independence- not more help.

Little ones who are taught to fall asleep on their own in their cribs no longer feel the need to fight falling asleep or get overstimulated by your assistance. They learn to become comfortable in their boring, sleep environment and regulate their own sleep needs.

Sign #2: Frequent night wakings

Night wakings are a normal part of sleep for all humans, but if your baby wakes frequently during the night, it’s crucial to assess why. Without the tools to resettle back to sleep on their own, your baby may end up fully waking, crying out for you, and needing help to get back to sleep. Imagine how frustrating that is for them! This cycle can leave both of you feeling worn out.

Sometimes babies may wake frequently but easily fall back asleep once you tend to them. These wakings, while not necessarily taxing on your little can add up for them throughout the night, depriving them of precious sleep. These wakings are obviously a lot harder on you because you may not be able to fall right back to sleep as soon as your baby does. Others may wake and then have  a really hard time going back down- even with help from you. This could look like not being able to be transferred back to their crib without popping awake again or just treating night wakings like playtime and being ready to party!

Children who have independent sleep skills are able to fall asleep on their own, will still have night wakings- they may still need a night feed! But you will know that their wakings are for an actual need (feeding, sickness, etc.) and not just because they are awake and don't know how to fall back asleep.

Sign #3: Short naps

Are you finding that your baby’s naps are disappointingly short? If you feel like you spend an obscene amount of time trying to get them down for a nap, only to have them wake shortly after, it’s a sign that something needs to change. Some parents find themselves resorting to contact napping just to get any sleep at all, which can be exhausting and leave you feeling trapped every single day. Or maybe your little one will take a nice long nap but it requires a ton of work up front to actually get them asleep and successfully transfer them. If you've got another little one at home, this can feel even more overwhelming as you're trying to navigate caring for multiple children.

Children who are independent sleepers have the tools in their toolbox to lengthen their naps. When they get through one sleep cycle (roughly 30-45 minutes) they are able to resettle and continue into the next sleep cycle on their own, leading to 1-2 hour naps throughout the day!

Sign #4: Generally tired and crabby during the day

If both you and your baby are feeling tired and cranky during the day, it’s time to acknowledge that your current sleep situation isn’t working. It’s important to remember that this isn’t a reflection of your abilities as a parent or a sign that you’re doing anything wrong. It simply means that the habits you’ve built around sleep are no longer serving you.

When you pass the baton to your little one and teach them how to regulate their own sleep instead of being 100% reliant on you, they will learn to get the sleep they need (and that means you get the sleep you need as well)!

Ready for a change?

If you’re nodding your head in agreement and thinking, “Yes, that’s me!”—it might be time to reach out for support. Having a clear plan can make all the difference, and working with a sleep coach can help you feel more confident and calm throughout the process.

With the Classic Consultation you can get accessible sleep help to confidently sleep train without all the second guessing! Imagine doing your bedtime routine, kissing your baby goodnight, walking out of the room + knowing that your baby will sleep long stretches at night and both of you will wake up feeling refreshed!

So if you're ready to stop feeling stuck, it's time to own your hard, commit to change & better sleep, and head over to check out the Classic Consultation today: https://allthesleeps.com/sleep-plan

Truth bomb incoming, tired mama: toddler sleep problems are not just a phase. While it’s easy to dismiss sleepless nights and fussy bedtimes as something that will simply resolve itself over time, the reality is that these sleep phases can quickly morph into lasting habits. So, if you’re hoping for a magical solution that allows your little one to drift into dreamland without a fuss, it’s time to recalibrate your expectations and take action!

Why toddler sleep phases matter

As a parent, you may be familiar with the ever-changing nature of your toddler’s sleep patterns. One week, they may fall asleep without a hitch, while the next, they might resist bedtime like it’s a full-time job. It’s easy to chalk these fluctuations up to typical developmental phases, but the truth is that how you address these sleep challenges right now can have a profound impact on your child’s long-term sleep habits.

When you allow sleep issues to persist without intervention, you risk establishing patterns that can become deeply ingrained. Your toddler may learn that resisting sleep is an effective strategy to get attention or that they can delay bedtime by creating fuss. Over time, these behaviors can evolve into habits that are much harder to break, leading to ongoing battles at bedtime and restless nights for the entire family.

Now, I'm not saying that sleep disruptions won't happen because of outside factors like: molars coming in, getting over sickness, dealing with the addition of a new sibling, adjusting from crib to bed, starting a new school or daycare, and your typical toddler developmental changes. BUT,  if you pick up unhealthy or unsustainable habits during these disruptions, then you can't expect your child to suddenly go back to how they were sleeping before. It is going to take *work* to get them back there.

Meet Laia, a recent client:

Laia is the mom of a 3 year old little girl named Dorothy. This 3 year was sleep trained as a baby and has been a beautiful and consistent sleeper ever since. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, something changed. Dorothy started her first week of preschool and her sleep started to go downhill. Before starting preschool she was easily falling asleep on her own in bed after softly singing to herself for 5-10 minutes. She was sleeping through the night and waking up around 6:30am, rested and happy and ready to start the day. She was also napping for about an hour each afternoon. After her first week of preschool she started resisting bedtime for 45-60 minutes each night, did not want her parents to leave the room like they always have, was waking several times in the night scared, and starting her day before 6am. On top of all that, she was refusing her nap too!

At first Laia wondered if her sleep needs had just changed- but that would be a pretty drastic change. Then Laia wondered if they just needed to "give in" and follow her lead with sleep, staying the room longer, pushing bedtime later, letting her start her day earlier, and skipping naps. But after about a week of that Laia could clearly see this wasn't helping Dorothy- in fact it was making things worse. This happy and playful 3 year old was now having multiple daily meltdowns and just not acting like herself.

Laia knew she needed to do something but just wasn't sure how to move forward and that's when she reached out to me. We were able to create a plan of action that helped Laia feel calm and confident holding important sleep boundaries for Dorothy. It wasn't easy breezy but Laia knew what Dorothy was capable of and she knew that on the other side of this struggle was better sleep for the family and a happier Dorothy so she pushed through. Within around 10 days, Dorothy was back to her old sleeping patterns and feeling (and acting) much more rested. Laia expressed to me that, "Not only did I gain confidence in my parenting abilities through this, Dorothy also has gained confidence that she can do hard things and overcome them!"

The good news: change is possible

I hope that story about Laia and Dorothy above gave you hope. This is a story that I have seen play out over and over and over again during my years working with families. Because here's the good news: with the right guidance and a proactive approach, you can turn the tide and help your toddler establish healthy sleep habits. Instead of waiting for the phase to magically end, now is the time to equip yourself with strategies and tools to create a peaceful bedtime routine.

Imagine a scenario where bedtime isn’t a struggle but a predictable and enjoyable experience for both you and your toddler. Picture your little one drifting off to sleep with ease, allowing you to enjoy your evenings without the stress of sleepless nights. This dream can become a reality with consistent efforts and the right support.

Take the first step towards better sleep

If you’re ready to stop blaming the latest sleep woe on a "phase" and start taking proactive steps to get your good sleeper back, check out my Toddler Sleep Reset, where you can learn how to tackle those habits head-on and set your little one up for great sleep moving forward.

Or, if you'd prefer to work directly with me like Laia and Dorothy, check out my Classic Consultation. Together, we’ll explore effective strategies tailored to your child’s unique needs, and create a plan of action as I support you through implementing it. It's time to get your good sleeper back and become the calm and confident leader at bedtime that your child needs.

As parents, we often feel an instinctive need to intervene when we hear our child cry. It’s almost like a reflex—our hearts race, and we leap into action, ready to put out what we perceive as a fire. But what if I told you that crying isn’t a fire that needs to be extinguished immediately? Instead, what if crying is simply a form of communication from our little ones, expressing needs and emotions that require our support rather than a quick fix?

The nature of crying

Crying is a natural and important part of childhood. It serves as one of the primary ways our babies and toddlers communicate their feelings, needs, and discomforts. When we treat crying like a crisis, we risk missing out on valuable opportunities to connect with our children and understand their emotional landscape.

It’s understandable why crying can be so unsettling. As parents, we instinctively want to protect our children from discomfort, which can lead to the knee-jerk reaction to immediately intervene. However, this response can unintentionally convey to our children that their feelings are not valid or that they need to be "fixed." Done repeatedly over the years it can also keep our children from having to feel and work through discomfort in life and lose valuable practice at coping with uncomfortable situations and feelings.

Reframing our perspective

One of the most significant hurdles parents face when working to improve their child’s sleep is the fear of crying. Many parents hesitate to pursue sleep training or changes in bedtime routines because they dread the tears that may accompany those changes. But here's the truth: crying does not always signify a problem that needs to be solved.

In fact, learning to embrace crying as a natural part of development can help us approach parenting—and sleep challenges—with a fresh perspective. Just because I'm a sleep consultant does not mean I enjoy making children cry! My goal is to help parents navigate these emotional moments with understanding and compassion.

By reframing our view of crying, we can start to see it as a normal emotional expression rather than a disaster. Instead of feeling the pressure to “fix” the situation right away, we can approach our children with empathy, recognizing that sometimes they just need our support as they navigate their emotions.

Support through the tears

When a child cries, it can be a moment to pause and reflect. Ask yourself what your child might be trying to communicate. Are they tired? Overstimulated? Seeking comfort? Are they simply upset because they are struggling with this new and hard thing? By tuning in to what they might be saying, we can better support them in the moment.

Instead of rushing to soothe the tears away, consider offering comfort without trying to eliminate the crying (or the problem). You might sit with them, provide gentle reassurance, or simply hold their hand. This approach not only helps validate their feelings but also teaches them that it’s okay to experience and express emotions, even when they’re difficult.

Embracing the journey

As parents, we have the incredible opportunity to guide our children through their emotional experiences. Embracing crying as a natural part of life—rather than a fire that needs to be put out—can lead to healthier emotional development for our little ones.

This shift in mindset can be especially beneficial during sleep challenges. Instead of viewing crying as a signal of failure, we can see it as part of the learning process. When we allow our children to express themselves, we foster resilience and emotional intelligence that will serve them well throughout their lives.

Finding balance in parenting

Reflecting on my parenting journey, I wish I had known these tools earlier. Embracing the reality that crying is not a fire to be extinguished, but a natural part of emotional development, has profoundly changed how I approach parenting and sleep.

So, the next time you hear your child cry, take a moment to breathe. Instead of rushing to stop the tears, consider how you can support them through this emotional moment. It might not always be easy, but together, we can learn to navigate the complexities of parenting and embrace the beauty of our children’s emotional experiences.

Want to work more on your relationship with tears?

Check out my 3 Day Free Crying Challenge here and be sure to check out my other blog post (and YouTube video) about crying here. If you are ready to work with a professional to help you make sustainable sleep changes for your little one... Here is a link to my scheduler so we can talk through your situation and see if we'd make a good fit to work together!