You want a little sneak peek insight into a few habits that I’ve implemented as a mom (and sleep consultant) that are SO important to me? Because these pieces of gold have changed my life and my kids lives and are TOO valuable not to share with you!

These habits have all been intentional (except the last one which was a silly quirk that turned into an accidental habit) and as a sleep consultant who deals with behaviors, habits, and routines on a daily basis, I fully believe in the power of using such things to our advantage as we parent and decide what is important in our lives.

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Like most things that I share, this what worked well for our family but I fully acknowledge there are many good ways to parent. Here’s your disclaimer not to compare or feel like your intentional parenting choices are better than or less than anyone else's.

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So here are the habits I'm grateful that I've implemented over the last 10 years of parenting...

 

1. Teaching independent sleep (aka sleep training)

This one probably goes without saying but, independent sleep has truly been an integral part of my parenting journey. My sons know how to regulate their own sleep and they feel safe and comfortable doing so. This is something we had to work at by sleep training around  4 months of age with both of my boys and then it became a boundary we had to continue holding over the years (particularly years 3-5 when they were testing lots of boundaries). Just because I'm a sleep consultant and my boys have been sleeping independently since their baby days, that doesn't mean we never have sleep issues pop up. However, our consistency is what keeps us on track every time. Read a little more about why I recommend laying down fully awake for each sleep here.

2. Frequent trips to the library

We often head to the library on a weekly basis to get new books to keep us occupied the next week. It’s not uncommon for us to have 30-40 books checked out at one time. This habit has truly shaped them into avid readers. When my boys were smaller, we would go and play in the place at the library and sit and read together or participate in the free baby and toddler reading times they offered. As they got older we started participating in the summer reading program each year. And now when we go to the library they head off and know exactly where to find the various books they're looking for!

 

3. Set morning wake up times

This time may change depending on if it’s the weekday, weekend, summer, or school year but we are very clear about when the boys can leave their rooms and expect to start their days. We have been intentional about this since they were babies and they didn’t always like this rule but now it’s so ingrained they don’t even think twice about it. We're big fans of the Kidstible lamps to help little ones know when it's time to wake up.

 

4. Daily quiet time

Since my boys stopped napping around 3-5 years, we’ve implemented a daily quiet time when home. This is their time to play, create, read, and rest in their rooms while my husband and I are able to work or rest. This time has been invaluable to my sanity and I recommend it to every family when they are out of the napping stage. Read more about developing a quiet time here.

 

 

5. No tablet use for the boys

We have tried off and on to incorporate tablet time but it always caused an issue and it always became an unquenchable need for more. So on the whole, we don’t do tablet time. We are TV watchers and will watch several hours of TV throughout the week but we are all much happier with that less addictive screen option. My boys never have the expectation to be on the tablet when they are bored, when we are at restaurants, or really anytime we are doing things they aren't big fans of. If this is something you want to learn more about, I highly recommend checking out Dr. Alison Yeung's content on Instagram.

 

6. Bible reading and prayers before bed

Bible reading and prayers before bed. This is a simple routine that we started with them as toddlers. As part of our bedtime routine we read a Bible story and then go around and all say a prayer. My hope is that this will help them to learn how to make Jesus a part of their everyday life- even when they are older.

 

7. Getting a treat for myself without the expectation that they will automatically get one too

This last one will probably seem the weirdest, but I am an ice cream lover so it ended up being a great motto for us. Just because I’m getting a treat, that doesn’t mean the boys get a treat. It also goes the other way. Just because they are getting a treat, it doesn’t mean I get a treat. Because of this understanding we’ve built over the years since they were babies, I am able to go to the drive thru and grab ice cream for myself and they don’t bat an eye!

 

I’d love to hear about a habit you’ve intentionally tried to teach your little ones?

 

 

Ready to tackle your current sleep issues? I'm here to offer a solution. 

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With the Classic Consultation you can get accessible sleep help to confidently sleep train without all the second guessing! Imagine doing your bedtime routine, kissing your baby goodnight, walking out of the room + knowing that your baby will sleep long stretches at night and both of you will wake up feeling refreshed!

 

So if you're ready to stop feeling stuck, it's time to own your hard, commit to change & better sleep, and head over to check out the Classic Consultation today: https://allthesleeps.com/sleep-plan

Are you a parent with a young baby who needs to be sleep trained, but you're worried about waking your other children? Sleep training with siblings can be a tricky situation, but with a little planning and some helpful tips, it's possible to get your baby sleeping through the night without disturbing the rest of the household.

Here are some effective tips on how to sleep train with siblings:

1. Create a routine

Creating a routine is essential for any baby's sleep training, but it's even more important when you have other children in the house. Establish a consistent sleep schedule for your baby that can mesh as best as possible with everyone in the household. This will help your baby adjust to their new sleep pattern, and the whole family can plan their days around it. See more tips for crafting the perfect bedtime routine here.

 

2. Create a buffer & use white noise

White noise can be an excellent tool for masking any sounds that your baby makes during the sleep training process. It can also help your other children sleep more soundly through any crying or fussing. See my favorite white noise machines that I personally use in my home and recommend to all my clients. If your older children already use white noise, don't be afraid to dial there's up temporarily while you go through the sleep training process with your baby. And if you have an extra machine or extra device that can play white noise, add it out in the hallway to act as an added buffer!

Apart from using white noise, you can also try these tips to create more of a buffer:

• If the siblings share a wall, move their beds and cribs so they aren't both set against the same wall
• Place a towel under each child's door so that there is less space for extra sound to travel to and from rooms

 

3. Try different sleeping arrangements

If your baby's crying is still disturbing your other children, you might want to consider different sleeping arrangements. This could mean moving your baby's crib to another room, or using a bassinet/pack n play in your bedroom for the first few weeks of sleep training.

Or maybe it even means sending your older kids over to Grandma and Grandpa's house for a fun sleepover! Sleep training won't be over by the time they come back, but you could at least get through the first few rough nights while they are out of the house.

 

 

4. Communicate with your older children

It's essential to communicate with your other children about the sleep training process. Explain to them what's happening and why it's necessary. Encourage them to use earplugs or noise-canceling headphones if they need to. Be patient and understanding with them, and they'll be more likely to adjust to the new routine.

This is also a great learning opportunity for older kids. It's a great time to reinforce the idea to them that crying is not bad. That it's okay to cry. It's okay to struggle with new skills. There's nothing wrong with that. Encourage them to stay calm amidst the crying and talk about breathing techniques they can try if they are struggling. Again, this is an invaluable learning opportunity so take advantage of it to work on building in healthy talk about feelings.

Do you, yourself struggle with your child's big emotions and crying? Check out my FREE 3 day crying challenge here and work through your triggers!

 

5. Be Consistent

Consistency is key when it comes to sleep training with siblings. Stick to your baby's sleep schedule, and be consistent with your approach to sleep training. It might be challenging in the beginning, but with patience and persistence, your baby will learn to sleep through the night, and your other children will adjust to the new routine.

Even trying "all the things" you may not be able to keep your older children from being disrupted but that's okay. It's life! And it will be a temporary disruption that they will get through and come out on the other side of. They can do this and so can you!

 

Sleep training with siblings doesn't have to be a nightmare. With a little planning and some helpful tips, you can get your baby sleeping through the night without disturbing the rest of the household. Remember to be patient and consistent, and communicate with your other children about the process. Soon enough, everyone in your household will be getting the rest they need.

Need more help navigating this process? I help tired moms who are overwhelmed by conflicting sleep advice to confidently sleep train. And I do it by providing affordable, personalized, and experienced sleep support. Start here by scheduling a free call.

No! Unless your toddler is 3 years or older AND a great sleeper, do not kick them out of their crib. I repeat, Do Not Kick Them Out Of Their Crib!

I'm a stickler on this point because I work with SO MANY parents who made the transition to a bed too early and then we have to go back and re-sleep train and break all the bad habits they picked up along the way.

Don’t make the switch from a crib to a bed just because a new baby is on the way. If your child is not mature enough for the switch, it will backfire. Trust me. Buy a used crib, an extra pack n play, a bassinet, whatever. Just don’t make your young toddler switch out of their own crib before they are ready.

If they ARE ready, then make sure you have a plan of action and you give them plenty of time to adjust to their bed before the baby comes. You can check out my Crib To Bed Transition Guide if you need more help with that!

 

Now onto the rest of my tips for managing your toddler's sleep when the new baby comes!

 

Keep your sleep routines and expectations the same.

I'm talking same bedtime, same nap time, same expectation that they fall asleep on their own. <- This is why it’s so important to have your toddler’s sleep under control before the new baby comes. You will not be able to spend time rocking your toddler to sleep once the new baby is here and if that’s the only way they know how to fall asleep, they and you are in for a very tiring several months.

Obviously, this may be a challenge for everyone during the first week. When Mom, Dad, and new baby return home from the hospital, things will probably be chaotic for a bit. I totally understand that. I'm a mom of 2 boys that are 22 months apart so I've been there!

But our saving grace was that we never let up or blurred the lines around sleep for our toddler when the new baby came. We kept everything as usual and he did just fine (Sleep-wise, that is. Getting used to his new brother was an interesting journey).

Make room for 1:1 time with your toddler each day.

Remember, your toddler's whole world has been turned upside down by this new sibling. Yes, they will adjust and one day they won’t be able to remember life before their new sibling, but we’ve got to give them time to adjust and be sensitive to their feelings in the meantime.

If you can avoid it, don’t go into bedtime or naptime routines with your attention divided. Don’t rush that time. Instead try to use it as more special 1:1 bonding for you and your toddler.

Baby-wear your newborn during it so your focus can be more fully on your toddler. Or, even better if you can do this, have one parent watch the newborn while the other parent takes their time with putting down your older child. If you do this, be sure to trade off so that you child gets plenty of 1:1 time with each of you.

And, if you can, avoid bringing the newborn in to that sacred bedtime routine until they get a bit older and your toddler is more used to sharing Mom and Dad with them.

Don't rush in overnight for every single sound your toddler makes.

It would be very normal for your toddler, who used to sleep through the night effortlessly, to start having some random wakings here and there. Lots of changes at home are happening, they may be struggling to get good naps resulting in over tiredness and leading to some random wake ups.

How you handle these random wake ups can make or break their sleep. I see parents fall into this trap often. They rush in to their toddler because they are afraid of the toddler waking the newborn. They help them to sleep just because they want them to be quiet. Then, before they know it, their toddler has figured this pattern out and uses it to their advantage to recoup some of that lost daytime attention.

Don’t fall into this trap. Use lots of white noise. In your toddler’s room. In your newborn’s room. In the hallway between their rooms. Seriously, that stuff is an amazing buffer! I think I used 3 sounds machines for the first 7 months of my youngest son’s life!

Also, thinking about the long game, it would be much better for your toddler to potentially wake up your newborn than for your toddler to pick up bad sleep habits that you just have to break down the line anyways. 

You guys know how much I love my white noise machines by Lectrofan. My two favorite products are the Lectrofan Micro2 and the Lectrofan Sound.

And if you aren't already using white noise, you need to be! Check out my blog all about White Noise to understand why.

Ok guys! Those are my best tips for handling this big family transition without totally wrecking the good sleep you've got! Good luck and congratulations!