This is a very popular topic that I receive from my followers. They've got their toddlers' sleep all squared away and they want to know, How do I keep sleep on track when the new baby comes?
Before we jump into those tips, I want to first address the families who maybe DON'T have sleep figured out with their toddler yet:
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How do I manage if my child is not a good sleeper and now I have another one on the way?
Make sure you have sleep going well with your toddler BEFORE the baby comes. If you are still dealing with sleep issues and you're in the first or second trimester, please reach out for help. Your sleep issues are only going to be compounded when the new baby comes and you don’t want to wait until right before the baby comes to make a bunch of changes with your toddler’s sleep.
Likewise, if you are already up several times a night with your toddler or you are still rocking/nursing your toddler to sleep, that is going to make those first few months with your newborn extremely rough on the entire house. Check out my 1:1 Consultations and let's get your sleep figured out!
I need the crib for my new baby so should I transition my toddler to a bed now?
No! Unless your toddler is 3 years or older AND a great sleeper, do not kick them out of their crib. I repeat, Do Not Kick Them Out Of Their Crib!
I'm a stickler on this point because I work with SO MANY parents who made the transition to a bed too early and then we have to go back and re-sleep train and break all the bad habits they picked up along the way.
Don’t make the switch from a crib to a bed just because a new baby is on the way. If your child is not mature enough for the switch, it will backfire. Trust me. Buy a used crib, an extra pack n play, a bassinet, whatever. Just don’t make your young toddler switch out of their own crib before they are ready.
If they ARE ready, then make sure you have a plan of action and you give them plenty of time to adjust to their bed before the baby comes. You can check out my Crib To Bed Transition Guide if you need more help with that!
Now onto the rest of my tips for managing your toddler's sleep when the new baby comes!
Keep your sleep routines and expectations the same.
I'm talking same bedtime, same nap time, same expectation that they fall asleep on their own. <- This is why it’s so important to have your toddler’s sleep under control before the new baby comes. You will not be able to spend time rocking your toddler to sleep once the new baby is here and if that’s the only way they know how to fall asleep, they and you are in for a very tiring several months.
Obviously, this may be a challenge for everyone during the first week. When Mom, Dad, and new baby return home from the hospital, things will probably be chaotic for a bit. I totally understand that. I'm a mom of 2 boys that are 22 months apart so I've been there!
But our saving grace was that we never let up or blurred the lines around sleep for our toddler when the new baby came. We kept everything as usual and he did just fine (Sleep-wise, that is. Getting used to his new brother was an interesting journey).
Make room for 1:1 time with your toddler each day.
Remember, your toddler's whole world has been turned upside down by this new sibling. Yes, they will adjust and one day they won’t be able to remember life before their new sibling, but we’ve got to give them time to adjust and be sensitive to their feelings in the meantime.
If you can avoid it, don’t go into bedtime or naptime routines with your attention divided. Don’t rush that time. Instead try to use it as more special 1:1 bonding for you and your toddler.
Baby-wear your newborn during it so your focus can be more fully on your toddler. Or, even better if you can do this, have one parent watch the newborn while the other parent takes their time with putting down your older child. If you do this, be sure to trade off so that you child gets plenty of 1:1 time with each of you.
And, if you can, avoid bringing the newborn in to that sacred bedtime routine until they get a bit older and your toddler is more used to sharing Mom and Dad with them.
Don't rush in overnight for every single sound your toddler makes.
It would be very normal for your toddler, who used to sleep through the night effortlessly, to start having some random wakings here and there. Lots of changes at home are happening, they may be struggling to get good naps resulting in over tiredness and leading to some random wake ups.
How you handle these random wake ups can make or break their sleep. I see parents fall into this trap often. They rush in to their toddler because they are afraid of the toddler waking the newborn. They help them to sleep just because they want them to be quiet. Then, before they know it, their toddler has figured this pattern out and uses it to their advantage to recoup some of that lost daytime attention.
Don’t fall into this trap. Use lots of white noise. In your toddler’s room. In your newborn’s room. In the hallway between their rooms. Seriously, that stuff is an amazing buffer! I think I used 3 sounds machines for the first 7 months of my youngest son’s life!
Also, thinking about the long game, it would be much better for your toddler to potentially wake up your newborn than for your toddler to pick up bad sleep habits that you just have to break down the line anyways.
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And if you aren't already using white noise, you need to be! Check out my blog all about White Noise to understand why.
Lectrofan Micro2
Lectrofan Kinder
Want to get your toddler's sleep
on track before the new baby comes?
