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Weaning your child off the pacifier can feel like a daunting task, especially when it comes to sleep. After all, that little comfort object has likely become a key part of your child’s bedtime routine. But as much as the pacifier has helped soothe your baby to sleep, there comes a time when it’s best to say goodbye. Whether you’re concerned about dental health, sleep dependency, or you’re just ready for a change, weaning off the pacifier doesn’t have to be a nightmare.

In this blog, we’ll explore two effective approaches to pacifier weaning—cold turkey and gradual reduction—and provide tips on products that can help make the process smoother. We’ll also tackle common concerns, like thumb-sucking habits, whether to allow pacifier use during non-sleep times, and the role pacifiers play in SIDS protection. Ready to help your little one transition to a pacifier-free sleep routine? Let’s dive in!

Two approaches to weaning the pacifier

Once you've decided to wean the pacifier (read this blog if you haven’t made it to this point yet) you may feel like you have no idea where to start... Well here are 2 different approaches you can try!

 

Cold Turkey Approach- This is my preferred method for all ages. It's less confusing than other methods and avoids prolonging the discomfort and frustration that your child will go through.

You simply stop offering the pacifier at bedtime. Make sure you have a sleep coaching method that you feel comfortable with and apply that if they struggle. Then when they get better at falling asleep without it at bedtime, you start to gradually take it away from naps as well!

*When dealing with a toddler on only 1 nap, I recommend removing it at bedtime on night 1 and then also removing it from nap the following day. This will be much less confusing for the toddler age.

 

Offer the Paci 1x- This is not my favorite approach but if I work with families that are very resistant or nervous about removing the pacifier, this can be an option. In this scenario we offer the paci initially at put down time, and then one more time if it falls out. But after that, we aren't replacing it over and over all night or all nap time. This allows your child to learn to sleep with or without it!

Along with that, you can place multiple pacifiers in the crib with your child to make it easier for them to find and replace themselves. It’s also important to note that once your child *can* replace the pacifier themselves, we are NEVER replacing it for them. If they are capable, then they are 100% in charge of their own pacifier.

 

Should I cut the tip of the pacifier to gradually wean my child?

No, I do NOT recommend cutting the tip of the pacifier. It can mess with the integrity of the pacifier and there is a choking hazard if you take this route. I repeat, I do not recommend this. Instead I'd recommend purchasing the pacifier weaning system like this one. Fridababy’s weaning system has a series of different sized pacifiers that can help your child become less and less interested in the pacifier over time. This is a much better option than cutting or altering your current pacifiers. However, this weaning system is not necessary and I lean towards just applying one of the two approaches I laid out above.

 

What if my child starts sucking their thumb instead?

First off, just because you take the pacifier away, that does not guarantee that the child will start sucking their thumb instead. I’d say I see it go 50/50. Half the time a child will find their hand and suck on it when the pacifier is gone. The other half of the time a child will not use sucking as a soothing way to fall asleep anymore.

However, even if your child starts to suck their thumb, that is still preferable to the pacifier. Their thumb is always readily so it does not disrupt sleep in the same way a pacifier can.

If your child becomes a thumb sucker, yeah, you will have to wean that too eventually. You may have heard someone say that “You can’t take their thumb away!” but that doesn’t mean you won’t have options to wean them off their thumb in the future. Those options include things like band-aids on their thumbs, special nail polish, etc. (We personally used band-aids around age 4-5 years plus talking about it and prepping our child when we broke the thumb sucking habit)

 

Can I let my child use the pacifier during the day?

This is a common question I get when talking about weaning the pacifier from sleep. Parents want to know if the pacifier should just be gone for good or if it’s still okay to use during the day or for travel. My answer is, it depends!

If we are talking about a 2+ year old, then my recommendation is to cut it from daytime use as you cut it from nighttime use. At this age, the longer you keep it around, the more emotionally attached your child will become. It just makes sense and is more consistent and kind to 100% remove it now as opposed to keeping it for daytime use only to wean that another 6 months or so down the line.

If we are talking about a baby who is not needing to get rid of it during daytime yet, then it’s totally fine to still offer the pacifier when they are awake. The main thing we want to keep separated is sleep in their crib and the pacifier. But during awake time the pacifier is fine. Honestly, even during long car rides where you’re hoping they will sleep or anytime they are needing to sleep outside of their ideal environment, then using the pacifier as a helpful tool is probably fine. 

At the same time, if you know that keeping the pacifier around and having access to it will just be too tempting for yourself and your baby, then by all means, get rid of them completely. The last thing you want to do is spend time weaning your baby off the pacifier for sleep only to reintroduce during a rough patch in the future. Do what’s best for your family!

 

But doesn’t the pacifier protect against SIDS? Should I keep it for that reason?

Great question! When talking about safe sleep there are such things as preventative factors and such things as protective factors. Let’s break those down a bit. Preventative factors are the ABCs (Alone, Back, Crib). These are things that directly reduce the risk of SIDS and ASSB. Read more on safe sleep basics here.

Protective factors are things that can help. But it's important to understand that NOT using these protective factors does NOT increase the risk of SIDS. Protective factors include: Room sharing (not to be confused with bed sharing, which is unsafe), pacifier use, and breastfeeding. Again, these factors are protective which is the equivalent of wearing your seatbelt. Wearing your seatbelt will not prevent a car crash but it can help in the event of a car crash.

All that being said, I often see parents neglecting the preventative factors when it comes to sleep *because* they are so exhausted from replacing the pacifier all night. For instance, I see parents falling asleep while holding their baby in the rocking chair because if they set them down they will lose their pacifier again and wake up. This is much more unsafe than removing the pacifier and working on independent sleep. Likewise, I see parents reach their limit playing the pacifier game so they end up pulling their baby into bed with them and finishing the night off there because it is easier. This is also unsafe.

With all of those factors mentioned, you can see why I still recommend weaning the pacifier sooner rather than later if it is causing you sleep issues.

Yup, I'm saying it. Drowsy but awake doesn't work for most families. 🤷‍♀️

 

Right off the bat I know that there will be someone commenting that they successfully implemented drowsy but awake - and I'm happy for them! But after talking with thousands of parents, I can tell you it does NOT work for most little ones.

 

Let me explain why first:

 

Reason #1 drowsy but awake doesn't work:

Getting a baby drowsy and then transferring them to their sleep space is no easy feat! Most little ones will pop right awake and then lucky you! You get to start the whole ordeal all over again. How fun (not)!

 

Reason #2 drowsy but awake doesn't work:

I've also noticed that when repeated unsuccessful transfers happen, the child starts to anticipate and fight drowsiness. They are making the connection that once they let go and relax, you will set them down. They don't want this so they resist sleep even more. The opposite of what we want! 

 

Reason #3 drowsy but awake doesn't work:

The other issue with drowsy but awake is that it often doesn't fix the root problem. Maybe you can lay your little one down drowsy but does it help with frequent night wakings, early mornings, and short naps? Probably not. Your child will still need you to come get them to a drowsy state before they'll go back down.

 

Reason #4 drowsy but awake doesn't work:

Using drowsy but awake becomes less and less effective with age and alertness. It *can* be helpful in the newborn stage but after that it becomes more elusive. And eventually your baby becomes a toddler who becomes a preschooler and along the way it just stops working. These older kids will especially fight falling asleep because they are smart and if they decide they don't want to sleep, they know how to resist and stall.

 

Reason #5 drowsy but awake doesn't work:

Lastly, drowsy but awake is honestly just impossible to gauge! Seriously, what does it mean? What does it look like? I'd probably get 50 different answers if I asked this question. It's very very subjective which makes it difficult to use and implement.

 

 

So what do I recommend instead? Laying down *fully* awake!

 

Besides the fact that it's just way easier to even know what 'awake' means and looks like, there are several other reasons why it just makes sense- especially if you're struggling in the sleep department!

 

Reason #1 to lay down fully awake

It keeps your child from being jolted awake in a new place. Aka, it’s not a bait and switch. Imagine falling asleep in your bed and waking up on the kitchen floor... yikes! That's often how our children feel when we snuggle them to sleep and then they wake up all alone. This is really jarring and can make it even harder for them to fall back asleep.

 

Reason #2 to lay down fully awake

It gives your child the tools to connect their own sleep cycles. Listen up, we ALL have biologically normal night wakings. ALL of us! As adults, we've had lots of practice falling right back asleep when we wake. But our children may not have the tools to fall back asleep without signaling for help. By laying them down awake we are giving them the opportunity to hone these skills. This makes a HUGE difference when it comes to false starts at bedtime, unnecessary night wakings, early morning wake ups, and short naps.

 

Reason #3 to lay down fully awake

Getting drowsy becomes less effective over time. As children grow and develop, they can become harder to settle and put to sleep. It's also not unusual for your presence to become too stimulating for the process of falling asleep. A child who is resisting your help and fighting sleep is another reason to work on laying them down awake. If your “help” isn’t actually helping them, then maybe they are signaling to you that what you’re trying is not actually helpful.

 

 

As far as logistics go...

✨I recommend making sure baby is fully awake during the entire bedtime routine

✨Then lay them down at the right time and in the right sleep environment

✨Have a sleep coaching method you feel comfortable with and apply it while they adjust to the change!

 

Need a little more help navigating this recommendation?

First up, let me introduce you to my Sleep Coaching Crash Course For Babies. It's an affordable sleep course for overwhelmed moms who want to stop *stressing* about sleep and actually start sleeping again. This course is an online, self-paced course that teaches you all about how to sleep coach (and lay down awake) in the crib. It sets up a day-by-day plan for teaching independent sleep so you can stop second-guessing yourself every step of the way. This course is specifically geared towards 4-24 months. It's like having a trusted sleep expert right by your side.

 

Now, you might be thinking, I can purchase a course but will I actually have the confidence and motivation to follow through with it? If you feel like you'd benefit from more accountability and 1:1 support, that's where my 1:1 Consultations come in. These are designed specifically to give your the clear plan & calm support that you need as we work towards better sleep for your little one. I provide 3 different levels of phone & email support so you can choose the option that makes the most sense for your unique family. These consultations are a game-changer, trust me!

 

A common concern I hear is: "How do I teach my baby to fall asleep without my help?" The answer, "Sleep coaching!"

Now, there is WAY more to sleep coaching than just the sleep coaching method that you use but I thought it would be helpful to share my run down of the different options.

A couple important notes

1. You can absolutely sleep train on your own if you read all the things, are confident in what you're doing, and can hold yourself accountable. That's what I did with my oldest!

2. There is no sleep coaching method that is truly tear-free. In fact I think it's really unfair to expect that or to "market" that. A method that is truly tear free is either V E R Y slow & you're looking at months of small changes or you got lucky with a baby who's temperament is extremely easy going. If crying is holding you back, I highly recommend reading this article by parenting expert Janet Lansbury AND checking out my myth buster post about sleep training being damaging.

3. There is a lot more that goes into sleep coaching than just the method so I am not an advocate for just putting a baby down and letting them cry if we haven't looked at the situation holistically first.

4. The specific sleep coaching method you choose actually has very little to do with success. I've used all these methods successfully. What counts is your follow through and consistency!

 

If you’ve come to the conclusion that you need to do some sleep coaching with your child, this post is a nice overview of your options. 

 

Ok, let’s get down to business.

Here is a continuum of several popular sleep coaching methods

As you can see, the methods I'll run through below range from very hands on to very hands off. Wherever you choose to hop in is just fine!

Crib-side Soothing

Works best for babies under the age of 6-8 months but can be overstimulating for babies over this age.

This method requires that after laying your baby down awake you step back from the crib and listen. If/when your baby cries, you can go to them and offer comfort while they stay crib-side. You can even pick up after a couple minutes if the aren't calming with the crib-side comfort. Once your baby has calmed in your arms then you lay them back down (while still awake) in their crib. These steps are repeated over and over until the child falls asleep.

Pros: This is a very hands on method and allows you to be right there the whole time as your child figures this new thing out.

Cons: Can be very tiring, can take the longest out of all the methods, parents must be able to remain calm and not anxious around baby.

 

Chair Method

Works best for 8+ month olds. I also like this method for toddlers, especially if you are transitioning from your bed to their own or if you usually lay with your toddler as they fall asleep.

This method allows you to stay in the room in a chair next to the crib/bed. You can provide some brief comfort to your child but they are still in charge of putting themselves to sleep. Every couple of nights you move the chair further and further away from the crib until you are out the door!

Pros: This method allows you to be very hands on at first and then work your way towards hands off as your child gets more used to sleeping without you.

Cons: Can take longer since you have to work your way out of the room, requires the parent to not become frustrated or anxious while they wait for their child to fall asleep.

Check Ins

Works best for children who are 2+ years in age. Not recommended for babies.

The point of this method is to start with frequent, quick checks on your child that gradually space out. These checks happen whether the child is upset or not. The frequency and consistency help toddlers and preschoolers because they come to trust that these checks will happen and it allows them to relax and fall asleep versus thinking of ways to get you back in the room. These checks typically are spaced out as so: One at 30-45 seconds, one at 60 seconds, one at 1.5 minutes, one at 2 minutes, etc.

Pros: Can be very calming for anxious children once they figure out what is going on, can turn into a fun nightly ritual!

Cons: You will need a way to keep your child in their room if they are currently in a bed, this can be very labor-intensive the first few days so you'll need the time set aside for these checks.

 

Quick Checks

Works best for babies over the age of 4 months and can be used up to several years of age depending on your situation.

This method requires that after laying your child down awake you leave the room. You only return to provide brief and boring reassurance at set intervals. Depending on the approach you take, it could be consistent intervals or progressively longer intervals. This method gives your child the space to turn inward for self-soothing while also assuring them that you are still right there.

Pros: Quicker approach than previous methods. allows parents to deal with other children while sleep training (for example if Mom is home alone during the day, she can still watch her other children while nap training).

Cons: Mom and Dad have to feel comfortable with leaving the room as their child is crying

 

Extinction

Works best for families who want to see very quick results and for children over 6 months of age.

With this method, you would put your child in their crib or bed awake and leave the room. You would not return until time for their overnight feeding or morning if they no longer feed overnight.

Pros: Very quick results (usually 2-3 nights), some children will respond best to no parent in the room and no checks if you've tried checks and they just seem to rile them up and drag out the process.

Cons: This is not a good method for every family and not one that I typically use with my clients unless they request it.

Alright, there's your run-down of sleep coaching methods! I hope this was helpful for you to see the options out there. Also, know that while these are the "popular" methods, I tend to mix and match them together as it suites my clients, their needs, and their goals!

If you take a look around my site, you will see lots of mentions of sleep props or sleep associations. You may be wondering, “What IS a sleep prop?”

A sleep prop (also known as a sleep association, crutch, or assist to sleep) can be anything that your baby depends on to fall asleep. All sleep props are not created equal either! Some are extremely helpful for your baby’s sleep while others tend to be less helpful.

First thing I want to mention is that no sleep prop is across-the-board bad. I prefer the terms helpful and unhelpful that I used above. The word bad leads parents to think they’ve done something wrong or that something they are currently doing is an issue. This is not always the case!

 

I cannot stress this enough

If you’re currently using any of the unhelpful props that I mention below but sleep is going just fine for your family, then no need to change it! This post is meant to help families who are struggling get to the root cause of their sleep issues, not to make other families worry unnecessarily! If it’s not broken, don’t fix it!

 

Here are some signs that you might be using an unhelpful sleep prop:

♥Short naps, rarely longer than 30-45 minutes unless you help them back to sleep

♥Frequent night wakings, typically every couple of hours but could even be one or two wakings per night in an older baby

♥Daytime crankiness

♥Fighting going to sleep

♥Often waking within an hour of falling asleep at bedtime and difficult to get back down

♥Trying to start their day early in the morning (before 6am)

♥Unpredictable daytime schedule 

 

So what can be considered an unhelpful sleep prop:

♥Nursing to sleep

♥Bottle feeding to sleep

♥Rocking to sleep

♥Holding to sleep

♥Laying with to fall asleep

♥Pacifier use (particularly if your baby cannot reinsert it themselves)

 

In and of themselves, these things aren’t inherently bad. But if you’re struggling with sleep, here’s what you need to understand. Your baby has the potential to wake up each and every sleep cycle throughout the night and during naps. That’s about every 40-50 minutes! So what your baby needs to fall asleep at bedtime, is exactly what they’ll need to fall back asleep at these wakings. 

 

You have to ask yourself, am I willing to continue offering this sleep prop all throughout the night or after each short little nap in order to get them back to sleep? If that doesn’t sound too enticing then that’s where sleep coaching comes into play!

The goal of sleep coaching is to teach your baby to fall asleep independently. This means that when your baby is laid down in the crib, they should still be awake! 

This is where the rule “drowsy but awake” comes into play. Personally, I prefer the phrase “awake and calm” because there can be some confusion about the word drowsy.

Every time you lay your baby down for sleep (naps and nighttime), ideally they would be awake and calm. Not asleep. Not drifting off. Fully awake.

They should also be calm and primed for sleep (i.e. proper timing, calming bedtime routine, ideal sleep environment). By doing this each and every time you lay your baby down, you are teaching them this important sleep skill, one that they will need to have for the rest of their life!

Using the awake and calm rule is so key that, if a newborn is taught good sleep habits and the awake and calm rule is used gradually from the very beginning, they might never have to go through any sleep coaching! How amazing would that be? I have an entire Newborn Sleep Course all about how to do this and it’s producing amazing results with my mamas!

Now that we’ve gone through all that info, let’s talk about helpful sleep props. These should be things that your child either has some control over or that are always available to them throughout the night/nap so that they aren’t disrupted when they briefly wake.

 

What is considered a helpful sleep prop?

♥White noise

♥Dark sleep environment

♥Sleep sack

♥Predictable bedtime routine

♥Lovey- if over 12 months of age

♥Pacifier if you little one can reinsert it themselves- although I still recommend getting rid of it sooner rather than later

 

These are all things that will aid your baby in getting the most restorative sleep possible, without causing unnecessary wakings or helplessness for them that you will need to attend to.

 

So how do you get rid of unhelpful sleep props?

If you’ve realized after reading this post that you have a big sleep prop issue and you’re ready to make the steps to resolve it, be sure to check out my different services. ⇓

⇒If you feel like you just need someone to tell you what changes to make and how, you may be interested in my Classic Consultation.

⇒If you know this will be a big transition for your family and you’d like my constant support and guidance along the way, my Ultimate Consultation is the way to go!

 

∗You can always Apply to Work with Me and we can talk through the best option for your unique situation.

Most parents survive the newborn phase fairly easily, with all its sleeplessness and on-demand feedings. (Don't get me wrong, it's still rough but we expect that with a newborn!) But after 6-12 months of interrupted sleep it can really start to wear on you!

 

 

This is the time that I hear from a lot of parents because they don't feel like they can continue functioning at their current level of sleep deprivation much longer. One of the most common questions that comes my way is:

 

How do I know if my baby still needs a feeding overnight?

First, let's talk about generalities. By around 6 months of age, many healthy babies will be able to go all night without a feed.

This is true for a couple of different reasons (introduction of solids during the day and increased efficiency during daytime feeds) but what it comes down to is that your baby is now capable of consuming all his necessary calories during his waking hours.

Of course, if we are making generalizations, your baby may not fall within this 'normal' range and that's OK. I am not advising every parent of a 6 month old to stop feeding them overnight regardless of their unique situation.

That is a very personal decision, and it needs to be one that Mom, Dad, and their pediatrician make, not me. However, if you are wondering if your 7 month old is capable of going all night without a feed, the answer is most likely yes.

Need more help navigating this process? I help tired moms who are overwhelmed by conflicting sleep advice to confidently sleep train. And I do it by providing affordable, personalized, and experienced sleep support. Start here by scheduling a free call.

 

 

Imagine this with me:

Your baby has been getting into a sleeping rhythm. You can almost predict when he will wake from his naps, how long it will take him to fall asleep at bedtime, and what time he will wake at night to feed, if at all.

Then, out of nowhere, his sleep gets all messed up and before you know it, he is barely napping, taking forever to fall asleep at bedtime, and waking every hour overnight!

Has this scenario happened to you before? I've just described what a sleep "regression" can feel like. Why the quotations around regression? I'm glad you asked!

Changing our mindset

First, I'm giving you a challenge. I challenge you to look at sleep "regressions" in a positive light. None of this, "Oh, woe is me. My baby is going through a sleep regression."

Instead why don't we think, "Wow! My baby is learning new things and developing new skills. And, although his sleep is being temporarily thrown off, I'm so glad my baby is progressing!"

To be honest, a lot of people don't even use the phrase sleep regressions anymore, they instead call them sleep progressions.

Now that we have our attitudes right about sleep "regressions," lets talk about how to get through them!

My #1 mantra for getting through any sleep regression is:

Don't start anything you don't wish to continue

What does that look like when applied practically? Here are some examples!

1. Have a 3.5 month old that has been sleeping long stretches at night for a while but suddenly is waking every hour? Don't start feeding them every hour unless that is something you want to continue doing.

2. Have a 10 month old who is standing in their crib at nap time instead of laying down and sleeping? Don't go in repeatedly to lay them down unless you'd like to continue doing that over and over.

3. Have an 18 month old going through separation anxiety and not wanting you to leave? Don't start staying in their room until they fall asleep unless you'd like to continue doing that long term.

4. Have a 2 year old who is fighting their naps? Don't give up nap time unless you are really ready to give it up completely.

 

I know, I know. Some of these might sound harsh but I can tell you from experience that this is where I see parents get tripped up. Let me play the above scenarios out a little more so you can see what commonly happens:

1. That 3.5 month old started waking every hour and the parents worried it was some kind of growth spurt so they started feeding for EVERY SINGLE WAKING. Now, their baby is taking in a majority of their calories overnight, they are uninterested and distracted eating during the day, AND they now associate falling asleep with needing a feeding.

2. That 10 month old kept popping up when Mom would lay him down. Mom enters the room probably 10+ times each night to lay him back down, but to no avail. Finally, Mom gets sick of it and decides to just hold him until he's drowsy before laying him down to avoid the pop up dance. Now he has grown to expect being held to sleep and if Mom wants to stop, she'll have to do some re-training.

3. The 18 month old experiences some separation anxiety and cries for Mom and Dad as soon as they leave the room. Instead of lovingly pushing the child through this stage, the parents decide to stay in the room and hold the child's hand until they fall asleep and then sneak out. Eventually, the child becomes fearful of when Mom and Dad will leave the room and starts fighting sleep because of it. Then, a month later, even though the separation anxiety phase is gone, the hand holding is now expected by the child each night and any subsequent time they wake overnight.

4. The 2 year old went on a nap strike (which is VERY normal) so Dad stopped making nap time a daily occurrence. The toddler learned that if he fought it enough he wouldn't have to do nap time and miss out on all the fun Dad was having in the afternoon. Now the 2 year old is no longer napping and it is meltdown city come 5pm each and every day.

 

*Before we move on, I want to be clear about what I'm NOT saying. I'm NOT saying that you have to ignore your child or that you can't offer comfort when it's needed. You CAN do those things! Just be mindful of how much you are helping and what your child has been capable of up until this point. Try not to over-help and always be curious about what is the least amount of help you can offer so that their sleep isn't totally derailed during these "regressions."

What ages do sleep "regressions" happen?

Depending on where you look, you may see that sleep "regressions" happen at lots of different points throughout your baby's life. Each regression is usually linked to different milestones, both physical and mental, that your baby is working on and obviously some babies reach these milestones at very different ages.

Below is a breakdown of when sleep "regressions" may occur but remember these ages can vary greatly. These sleep "regressions" can last anywhere from 1-6 weeks.

4 Months

Your baby's sleep is changing to become more adult-like at this stage. He is also becoming more alert and engaged in the world around him so previous methods of rocking to sleep become more and more ineffective as time goes on.

Unfortunately, this sleep "regression" is a more permanent fixture as your baby's sleep is not going to return to what it was like as a newborn. Now is the time to start thinking about sleep coaching if you haven't before. This particular regression is a doozy and in fact, I've written an entire blog about The Dreaded 4 Month Sleep Regression.

6-7 Months

This is around the time that your baby is learning to sit up and possibly crawl. If your baby is sitting up in their crib but not able to lay back down by themselves, give them lots of practice during their wake times! And if you must go in and help them during sleep times, guide them to the right position rather than just picking them up and laying them down yourself.

Solid foods are often started at this point as well and that can lead some poorly timed poops and constipation in some cases. Take the introduction of solids slowly to avoid constipation. If your baby poops during a nap or overnight, try to change them with as little stimulation as possible (keep the room very dark, avoid eye contact and chatting, and then put them right back in the crib). If they continue to poop with bad timing, experiment with feeding at different times or trying different foods to see if you can adjust their pooping times.

8-10 Months

Separation anxiety can rear its ugly head at this age which makes leaving your baby at sleep times especially heart wrenching. Stay consistent with your routines and your baby will gain confidence and security from the familiar patterns.

Get extra snuggles during the day but avoid over-helping at night. Your child might also start pulling themselves up to standing in their crib. Avoid the pitfall of repeatedly laying them down over and over. If they can't lay down themselves, practice, practice, practice during the day! Also, read my blog on Separation Anxiety for more helpful tips!

12 Months

Separation anxiety can also occur at this age for some babies. Language is really developing here, and you might hear your baby laying in his crib and babbling for hours if you let him.

At this age, parents often make the mistake of assuming their child is ready for just 1 nap, when really they probably aren't ready. Making that transition to 1 nap too soon will just cause more issues down the line as the over-tiredness catches up.

Keep offering your 2 naps consistently and within a week or so, your baby should settle back into their routine.

15-18 Months

This "regression" can center around several transitions. Your baby is probably walking around this age, and they are learning that they can say, "No."

This new defiance is rough, but stay firm with your sleep expectations and they will stop resisting once they understand you are serious.

This is also the age that a 2-1 nap transition should occur and it can take several weeks to make this transition. If you'd like help to guide you through this big nap transition, reach out to me and I can tell you about my Nap Transition Package!

2 years

Toddlers are really good at testing boundaries as well as having FOMO. Nighttime fears can also start cropping up now where they haven't before.

All of these factors combined can lead to bedtime and nap time resistance. Your 2 year old is NOT ready to give up their nap, even though they might go through a period of resisting it.

Likewise, avoid giving in to multiple bedtime requests for water, re-tucking, etc. I've also outlined an entire blog post about how tricky Toddler Sleep can be so check it out if you're struggling here. 

 

Ummm, that's practically my baby's whole first 2 years of life?!

I know that looks like a LOT of sleep "regressions" so before you freak out... Not every baby will be affected by every sleep "regression."

Additionally, babies who are on a consistent schedule with consistent expectations and healthy sleep habits will be less bothered and better equipped to handle any sleep "regression."

 

Hope this was helpful and don’t forget, for children who are independent sleepers already, I offer troubleshooting calls so that you don’t have to go through this alone!

How early did your child wake up this morning? If it's anytime before 6am, we've got an early waking on hands! 🤮 BUT that doesn't mean it has to be this way forever! In this blog I walk you through the main 4 reasons your child is waking early and how you can fix them and teach your child to sleep until a more reasonable time.

 

What is considered an Early Waking for Babies and Toddlers?

Any waking between 4am and 6am is considered an early waking. Unfortunately, if your baby wakes at 6:15am, it may feel early but it's actually a natural biological time for them. We'd all love it if our babies slept until 8am but it's not something to expect. Your baby's internal clock naturally falls to a 7-8pm bedtime and 6-7am wake up time. Let's go over some of the major reasons why your baby might be waking earlier than 6am. You may find that several of these reasons are coming into play or even just one.

 

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Reason #1 Your baby is not motivated to keep sleeping.

Everyone's sleep cycles are shorter and lighter between 4 and 6 am. Our brains spend more time in REM sleep which is naturally lighter, making it easier to be woken up. Each sleep cycle gets shorter and shorter as well which means there are just more chances your baby will wake as they transition multiple times between sleep cycles. If you're baby is not an independent sleeper (meaning they don't know how to fall asleep without help), they will not be able to fall back asleep without intervention at these frequent, early wakings.

Even if your baby or toddler is an independent sleeper, they are not as motivated as adults who tend to work for every last drop of sleep in the morning. When we, as adults, wake briefly we are motivated to fall back asleep because we recognize that it's not yet time to wake up. Your baby doesn't realize that and they REALLY won't realize that if you start your day at whatever time they wake. The biggest thing you can do to motivate your sleeper to keep sleeping in the morning is to give them the gift of independent sleep. 

Reason #2 Light and YOU are signaling to your baby's brain that it's time to get up!

We've got to make sure that no signals are being sent to your baby that it's time to wake up. If any bit of light is creeping into your baby's room, it's sending a direct signal to your baby's brain that it's morning. Get that bedroom DARK. Go in at 5/6am and see how dark the room is. If you can see your hand in front of your face, it's not dark enough.

I like to use a scale of 1-10 with 1 being light and bright and 10 being pitch black. Your baby's room should fall at an 8-10 on that scale. This takes some maneuvering but is oftentimes a simple fix for sleep problems.

Also, make sure YOU aren't sending your baby signals that it's okay to be awake. If you get them up right away when they wake early, you are telling their internal clock that it's an okay time to wake for the morning. If you don't have one, set a designated wake time (DWT) for your baby and stick to it. It should be about 11-12 hours after bedtime.

If your DWT is 6:30am, then you should not get your child out of their dark room until that time. When they wake early, use your sleep coaching method until DWT. The least interaction and stimulation you can give during this time, the better.

Reason #3 Bedtime is too late.

A bedtime that is too late can actually cause your baby to wake too early. This truth goes against common sense and what you may hear given as advice, but it's true. Your child's natural biological clock is wired to go down between 7 and 8pm.

If bedtime is later than that and you are experiencing early wake ups, try shifting bedtime earlier by 15-30 minutes. You should aim for your baby or toddler to be getting 11-12 hours of sleep overnight and for them to have between 12 and 13 hours from wake up to bedtime. It's a myth that keeping your child up later will help them to sleep in in the morning.

Reason #4 Entire schedule is shifted too early.

I get it, your child wakes at 5am so their first nap has to be early because they are a tired mess by 7am. However, this causes all the other naps to occur early as well. This then leads to either a super early bedtime or an extra, crappy nap before a late bedtime. Neither are helpful to your baby's schedule. In fact, this just perpetuates the problem, leading to an tired baby and a vicious cycle of early wakings!

The best way to keep this from happening is to make the shift with nap 1. Hold it off until later, even if your baby is a tired mess. Use your DWT (yes, you MUST have one of these) to determine when nap 1 should occur. Do NOT use the actual time your baby is waking. This will take work and it won't be easy to keep a tired baby awake until their nap time but it's WORTH it!

If your baby is fussy, get creative. Sing songs, dance, play in the tub, go crawl around outside in the grass together! Like all things with sleep, the hard work will be worth it and that slight schedule shift might be just the what your baby needs to sleep until a decent time in the morning.

Got a toddler? 

Be sure to check out the Mella sleep trainer toddler clock (save 10% with code: allthesleeps10) and the Kidstible sleep lamp. These are both great tools to help your toddler understand when it's an acceptable time to wake up for the day. Like any other sleep tool, you'll need to put in work on the front end to enforce the clock but once your toddler catches on, it's a great visual!

 

Last piece of advice:

Early wake ups can take TIME to be resolved. You need to consistently stick to your plan for 2 weeks before you might see results. Because of this time commitment, some parents are quick to give up and resign themselves that their baby is just an "early riser." In most cases, this is not true!
 
If your child is waking early and is unhappy, obviously cranky, and a tired mess by the end of the day, these are all signs that they are not simply an "early riser." They do NEED that sleep they just don't know how to get it.

Should I let my baby sleep with a pacifier?

Have you ever found yourself cursing your baby's pacifier? Or perhaps you're on the opposite end of the spectrum and you swear by its magical powers for sleep? I'm breaking down my feelings about pacifiers as a sleep consultant. I'm not anti-pacifier but there is definitely nuance to this topic!

 

 

Professionally speaking, I believe the pacifier is a GREAT tool for the newborn stage. That sucking reflex is so strong for our itty bitty ones and the pacifiers help to calm them.

They allow nursing moms to have a break so they don't become human pacifiers, which I believe is super important for maternal mental health.

Pacifiers have also been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS, so there's that added peace of mind too!

With newborns, I always recommend following Harvey Karp's 5 Ss for soothing and mimicking the womb. The fifth S, sucking, is where that magical pacifier comes into play.

See where your child falls with my pacifier use recommendations:

0-4 months: If your newborn accepts the pacifier, USE it!

4-8 months: Take the pacifier away and apply your sleep coaching method

8-24 months: You can let them keep it if you REALLY want to but consider breaking the habit now. If keeping it, never reinsert it for them. They can do it themselves.

2-4 years: You can take it away now but it can be risky and you may lose your nap for good in the process.

 

 

Need help ditching the pacifier? Check out my Everything Page for my free and paid offerings!

 

 

 

 

 

If you already have an older baby dependent on the DockATot to fall asleep and stay asleep, apply to work with me and we can chat about the best option for you and your little one. I've helped many families remove their baby's dependence on the DockATot to sleep and I can do the same for yours!