Should I let my baby sleep with a pacifier?
Have you ever found yourself cursing your baby's pacifier? Or perhaps you're on the opposite end of the spectrum and you swear by its magical powers for sleep? I'm breaking down my feelings about pacifiers as a sleep consultant. I'm not anti-pacifier but there is definitely nuance to this topic!
Professionally speaking, I believe the pacifier is a GREAT tool for the newborn stage. That sucking reflex is so strong for our itty bitty ones and the pacifiers help to calm them.
They allow nursing moms to have a break so they don't become human pacifiers, which I believe is super important for maternal mental health.
Pacifiers have also been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS, so there's that added peace of mind too!
With newborns, I always recommend following Harvey Karp's 5 Ss for soothing and mimicking the womb. The fifth S, sucking, is where that magical pacifier comes into play.
Some babies never show much interest in the pacifier, and if you find that is your baby, that's okay! It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. I suggest you keep trying during those newborn weeks but if they just aren't interested, don't sweat it.
Do pacifiers interfere with sleep?
Ok, so pacifiers are a great tool for the newborn stage, but have you found yourself in this situation before:
You give your baby their pacifier and they drift peacefully off to sleep at bedtime. But then you are awakened at 10pm, 12pm, 3am, and 5am because your baby has lost their precious pacifier and needs you to replace it? Or maybe they sleep fine at night but are perpetually stuck at 40 minute naps because of the pacifier?
While I love pacifiers for the newborn stage, I find that around 4 months, the pacifier stops being a useful tool and starts being an unhelpful sleep association. Read more about sleep associations here.
This is the point where your baby may become fully dependent on the pacifier to fall asleep but they are still several months away from being able to reinsert it themselves.
Add that onto the 4 month sleep regression, where their sleep becomes more adult-like and organized into sleep cycles, and you may find yourself reinserting that darn pacifier every 45-90 minutes! Eek!
Think about it this way, if your baby only knows how to fall asleep (or prefers to fall asleep) WITH the pacifier, then each time they briefly wake overnight- which, by the way, is biologically NORMAL- they will need or want that pacifier reinserted before they fall back asleep. Sounds like a recipe for broken night sleep, short naps, and an overtired, crabby baby!
When should I take away the pacifier?
If you find yourself with a 4+ month old baby and doing the pacifier dance all night long, I suggest you get rid of the it! Pick a sleep coaching method that you feel comfortable with and apply it until your baby has mastered the skill of falling asleep without that paci.
As a general rule, I always suggest taking the pacifier away for sleep when you do any kind of sleep training. If you are already pushing your baby outside of their comfort zone, might as well do them a favor and save everyone the trouble of breaking the pacifier habit later on.
If your child is old enough now to manipulate the pacifier themselves, then YOU don't need to be reinserting it for them. Make them do it on their own.
You can even place a handful of pacifiers in their crib so their chances of finding one in the dark are higher. Or try glow in the dark pacifiers that your baby can see in their crib in the middle of the night.
If you have a child under 2 years who uses the pacifier, I suggest getting rid of it sooner rather than later. Many dentists and pediatricians may suggest that your child not being using a pacifier past a certain age.
However, if you happen to have a child who is 2 years or older that sleeps with a pacifier, I suggest keeping it until they stop napping (3+ years old). Otherwise, you run the risk of them giving up their naps before they are actually ready to.
See where your child falls with my pacifier use recommendations:
0-4 months: If your newborn accepts the pacifier, USE it!
4-8 months: Take the pacifier away and apply your sleep coaching method
8-24 months: You can let them keep it if you REALLY want to but consider breaking the habit now. If keeping it, never reinsert it for them. They can do it themselves.
2-4 years: You can take it away now but it can be risky and you may lose your nap for good in the process.