To begin, I want to make sure we have the right understanding about the phrase “room sharing.”
Room sharing means that you and your baby are sleeping in the same room but on separate sleep surfaces. For example, you are sleeping in your bed while your baby is sleeping in their bassinet or pack n play or crib. Room sharing is not to be confused with bed sharing which puts your baby at risk and is warned against by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
Speaking of the AAP, let’s dive in a little deeper to what their recommendation is for room sharing. The AAP recommends room sharing with your baby for the first 6-12 months of their life. For some families this is a no brainer and they have no issues with sharing their room for that long. For others, extended room sharing is a major pain point and everyone’s sleep and safety suffers because of it.
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The aim of this post is to give you tips for making room sharing work for your family BUT I would be remiss if I didn’t also share this with you.
For some families, it is just too tempting to pull their baby into bed with them when they room share. If this is your family, I’d encourage you to consider if moving baby to their own room would be safer.
Yes, room sharing has protective (not preventative) benefits when it comes to the occurrence of SIDS but that is negated if you are simply pulling baby into your bed in the middle of the night or unintentionally falling asleep nursing in bed and waking up hours later still holding your baby.
I encourage you to do a couple things if you are considering ending room sharing earlier than the AAP recommends:
- Give your pediatrician a quick call and get their input.
- Check out this article, Why Room Sharing in Infancy Isn’t Necessary for Safe Sleep by Dr. Craig Canapari. He is a pediatrician, author, and the Director of Yale’s Pediatric Sleep Center so he knows what he’s talking about!
So, you’ve decided to continue room sharing but you are STRUGGLING with sleep, now what?
⇒First off, babies are noisy sleepers!
Especially those newborns! If possible, consider having Mom and Dad switch off nights or even switch off shifts. If it’s Mom’s turn to be “off” have her sleep in a separate room so that she won’t be woken by every little sound that baby makes throughout the night. This can ensure that neither Mom or Dad are both laying awake in bed, unable to sleep.
⇒Turn up that white noise!
Don’t be afraid to crank it up for your baby’s sake and your sake. White noise helps humans (I don’t care if you’re a baby or an adult) sleep better so let’s use everything we can to help us! In addition to using white noise, you can also have a fan running (which the AAP recommends as well) and that will add an extra buffer for noises as well.
If you're not convinced of the power of white noise for sleep, you MUST take a look at my blog on white noise. I highly recommend and personally use Lectrofan (you can take 20% off your purchase + free shipping with this code: allthesleeps20).
⇒Then, move your baby’s sleep space further away from your bed.
In fact, move it as far away as possible! The worse place for your baby, if you are both struggling with room sharing, is right next to your side of the bed. Put that bassinet in a far corner of the room. Make some room in your walk in closet or your bathroom for that pack n play.
Don’t have a big enough closet? Add a decorative screen between you and your baby’s sleep space to add more separation. Don’t have enough room to move the bassinet away from your bed? Move it over to Dad’s side of the bed. (He might be less likely to wake and he doesn’t smell like milk ;))
My favorite item to make room sharing easier is the SlumberPod! It’s a tent-like structure that goes over the pack n play or bassinet to provide separation and darkness while being breathable and ventilated. Bonus, it is a great tool to have for traveling so even when you are done room sharing, you’ll still get years of use out of it! Use my code: ALLTHESLEEPS to take 5% off your purchase.
⇒Lastly, you’ll want to do as little as possible in your room.
If Mom or Dad has to get up early and get ready for work but you want your baby to continue sleeping, have your clothes laid out in a different room so you can get out of bed as quietly as possible and sneak out.
We definitely don’t want to be turning any lights on in the room when you come in for your own bedtime or when you wake up in the morning. If you’ve got a super annoying alarm clock that seems to wake the baby up, try a vibrating watch or taking your last stretch of sleep out on the couch so your alarm can’t be heard by baby.
