As parents, we often find ourselves on autopilot during the evening routine, and sometimes our words slip out without much thought. One phrase that many parents commonly use is, “It’s dark outside, so it’s time for bed.” While it might seem like a convenient explanation in the moment, I’m here to tell you why this approach can create more challenges than solutions—especially as we transition into those long summer days.
The problem with associating bedtime with darkness
With the days getting shorter and darker earlier, particularly as the end of daylight savings time approaches, it's tempting to rely on the absence of sunlight as a cue for bedtime. However, this logic can backfire spectacularly come spring and summer when it stays bright outside until almost 9 PM! Imagine your toddler, who has internalized the idea that bedtime is directly linked to darkness, suddenly pushing back against the notion of going to bed while the sun is still shining. This can lead to a long, drawn-out struggle that neither you nor your child wants.
Instead of saying, “It’s dark outside, so it’s bedtime,” try using a more consistent cue: “According to the clock, it’s bedtime.” This way, you’re grounding bedtime in something constant and reliable, rather than something that changes with the seasons.
Setting firm boundaries
Another important aspect of establishing bedtime is shifting away from the mindset of needing to “convince” your child that it’s time to sleep. Think about it this way: when it’s time to buckle them into their car seat, you don’t engage in a negotiation. You calmly say, “It’s time to buckle up,” and if they resist, you hold the boundary. The same goes for turning off screen time; you simply state that tablet time is over and follow through.
When we approach bedtime with uncertainty or a desire to persuade, we can inadvertently undermine our authority and create more pushback rather than less. Instead of feeling like you need to convince your toddler that bedtime is necessary, present it as a straightforward fact. This shift in language can help you reclaim your confidence as the parent and leader of your household.
Save yourself the headache
So, as we settle into this colder, darker season, I encourage you to rethink how you frame bedtime for your toddler. By focusing on consistent cues like the clock, rather than the setting sun, you can establish a smoother, more predictable bedtime routine. This small change could save you from a world of frustration in 6-9 months!
Trust me, I’ve seen this mistake made time and time again—myself included! But with this quick tip, you can confidently set boundaries and make bedtime a smoother experience for everyone involved. Here’s to peaceful nights and a little less drama come summer!
