Are you ready to get your baby sleeping in their crib and get your bed back? If so, this blog is for you!
Families start co-sleeping for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes it's planned, other times it just sort of happens out of desperation. Either way, most parents reach a point where they no longer want to co-sleep and are ready to have their bed back.
Let's dive in to talk about four tips to stop co-sleeping and teach your child to sleep in their crib.
Tip #1
Make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. If this tip is applicable to you, you need to talk about it. You need to talk about your plan, why you're doing it, how you're doing, etc. You both need to be committed to the process too.
A lot of times families will just "try" to see how it goes. But because this isn't going to be finished in one night, they end up giving up after "trying" for a night and wind up feeling more hopeless than before.
So don't underestimate how big of a change this will be for your child. The more prepared you are beforehand, the more successful you will be!
Tip #2
Make your child's crib a familiar space. Here's a couple different things you can do to prep your child for the end of co-sleeping and help them feel more used to their new sleep space:
- Wear your child's crib sheet in your shirt for an hour or so before bed. That way when you place the crib sheet on the mattress, it will smell like you. You're child is used to having your strong scent as they sleep so this can be comforting to them
- Spend time during the day in your child's room and in the crib. Play peekaboo together between the crib slats, do tummy time in the crib, place baby with some toys in the crib while you do laundry right next to them. Make it fun and laid back!
- Consider using a heating pad to gently warm up the crib before bedtime since your child is used to falling asleep next to a warm body. If you do this, make sure you remove the heating pad before placing baby in the crib AND make sure it is not too hot to the touch.
Safety considerations:
Now on the flip side, while we want to familiarize your child with their crib, we do not want to make their crib like a bed. We do not want to add pillows or blankets or DockATots (more on DockATots here). Items placed in the crib for sleep are not safe and you should avoid these things. A bare crib is best. Click for more details on Safe Sleep Basics. I know you will be tempted to add things to the crib because that will feel more like the bed they are used to but the risk is not worth it. Your child will learn to adapt without all that extra stuff.
Tip #3
When we are first starting to get your child used to their crib, I know it's so tempting to start at nap time. But don't do that! If your child has rarely slept in their crib, you are going to want to start at bedtime.
Their drive to sleep is so much lower during the day than it is at bedtime and overnight. Their body is producing melatonin (our sleepy hormone). They actually have a surge of melatonin at bedtime and that is going to help them accept these changes more easily. Their body will just be more primed for sleep.
So always start with these changes at bedtime. Not nap time. Got it? Bedtime, not nap time. 👍 Okay, good.
Tip #4
Now if the idea of starting at bedtime and having your child spend all night (10 to 12 hours) in their crib is daunting to you... don't look at it that way. You don't have to start with it being all night at once.
Instead set a time each night that you're going to make your child stay in their crib until. Then push it later every night until they're spending all night in the crib. It doesn't have to be all or nothing right away. You can gradually step into it if that feels a little more comfortable for you. Maybe this looks like:
Now, on the flip side, let's also not drag this out so that it's taking weeks and weeks until your child spends a full night in the crib. That is just going to cause frustration and more angst for your baby. Over the course of two to five nights your child should be spending all night in their crib. Try not to go past five nights. At that point, you're not going to actually be doing them any favors because of the inconsistency of the message you are sending them.
Still struggling?
If you feel like you have tried these tips and you are still struggling to keep your child in their crib, it could be that you are missing the most basic piece of the puzzle: Independent sleep skills. If your child does not know how to fall asleep on their own, then it's important to know it is natural for night wakings to happen. As long as your child doesn't know how to fall back asleep on their own, those night wakings are going to persist.
Currently, when they wake up, all they're thinking is "When I fell asleep I was in mom's arms," or "I was laying next to dad," or "I wasn't in here all alone." So they don't know what to do and they end up calling out for you.
If that is a piece that you are missing, then you may be ready to do some sleep training. Here's my readiness quiz for sleep training: Are you ready to sleep train? With many families, this next step of sleep training and teaching independent sleep is the best and most basic way to get your child out of your bed so you can stop co-sleeping.