When do baby sleep regressions happen? How long do sleep regressions last?! Why do sleep regressions suck so bad?!
All questions I receive in frantic emails and DMs. If you're stressing about baby sleep regressions, please know you are not alone. These things happens and they can be oh so frustrating to get through.
Imagine this with me: Your baby has been getting into a good sleeping rhythm. You can almost predict when he will wake from his naps, how long it will take him to fall asleep at bedtime, and what time he will wake at night to feed, if at all.
Then, out of nowhere, his sleep gets all messed up and before you know it, he is barely napping, taking forever to fall asleep at bedtime, and waking frequently overnight again!
If this has happened to you before (or if it's happening right now) I'm sure you have some questions. Which is why I've put together this run-down of sleep regressions for you:
How long do sleep regressions last?
Typically you are looking at about 2 weeks for any single regression to last. But let's be real, this can vary, A LOT! Depending on where you look, you may see that sleep "regressions" happen at several of different points throughout your baby's life.
Each regression is usually linked to different milestones, both physical and mental, as well as nap transitions and sleep need changes that your baby is going through.
When do baby sleep regressions happen?
There are several different months when sleep regressions are most prevalent. I'm going to walk you through those but please remember, because every child is different, this is not an exact science. Some babies will hit these regressions at different times and some won't really be affected by most or all of them.
4 month sleep regression
The 4 month sleep regression is different from the other regressions because it is marked by the permanent maturation of your baby's sleep cycles. They no longer have newborn sleep cycles, instead they are more adult-like now.
This is a permanent change.
Okay, so what? What does that even mean?
Basically it means that your baby will be spending more time in lighter sleep than before and this means more potential for wake ups.
Now, if your baby already has independent sleep skills, that's great news! You're going to want to lean on those skills as you navigate this regression.
If your baby doesn't have those skills, now's the time to teach them, especially if your baby is waking frequently and no one is getting any sleep in your house.
Oh and another good thing to know... This regression doesn't always happen right at 4 months. It can happen anytime between 3 and 5 months.
For more information on this regression, check out this blog post: 4 month sleep regression and how to prepare
6 month sleep regression
Some will swear by a 6 month sleep regression, others won't. That's okay! Not every baby hits every single regression. But let's talk about some of the factors that could be contributing if you're going through the 6 month regression:
Babies are getting more and more mobile at this age. Whether that means rolling, crawling and/or sitting up, your baby is going to be practicing these things in the crib. Is it frustrating? Yup. Can we keep them from practicing these skills instead of sleeping? Nope. Just continue to offer your naps and at regular times and don't be afraid to do an early bedtime if you had a crap nap day.
Babies are starting solids around this time and, unfortunately, this can lead to some poorly timed poops. This can take some experimentation with different foods, different times and see if you can avoid those sleep time poops. Until then, keep those diaper changes dark and un-stimulating and then leave again.
Even though some babies may seem like they are teething earlier than 6 months due to drool and sticking their hands in their mouth, the average age that babies start getting teeth is 6 months. This can be really uncomfortable for some babies while it's hardly a blip on the radar for others. If your baby is uncomfortable, don't be afraid to offer Tylenol to help ease their discomfort.
At 6 months you are nearing that 3 to 2 nap transition (Hallelujah! 2 nap schedules are the 💣!) But if you haven't adjusted your wake windows in a while and you are struggling with short naps, nap refusals, or unusual night wakings, this could mean you need to give longer windows (~2.5 hours). On the other end, you may be struggling to fit that 3rd nap in each day and then having too long of a stretch to bedtime. If you are in this second situation, it's okay to wake from naps 1 and 2 in order to fit nap 3 in right now. Try to hold off that transition to 2 naps until 7 months!
8-10 month sleep regression
Now, try not to be alarmed! The 8-10 month sleep regression doesn't mean it LASTS for 2 months. It means it will probably hit you at some point within these months. Or you may not get bothered by it at all!
Usually this regression happens for the following reasons:
1. Babies this age are either pulling up to stand or are full on standing. This can mean that once you set them down in their crib, they pop right back up! One trick you can do to combat this is to put your child in their crib already standing. Then you take some of the "fun" out of popping back up. Just know that your little on will lay down on their own time, when they are ready. And that's okay.
2. If you have previously been rocking or nursing or assisting to sleep, this is the age when it starts to become harder and harder. Your presence may now be too stimulating for your baby to handle as they fall asleep. Your baby may resist falling asleep because they don't want you to set them down and leave. If you're experiencing this, it may be time to work towards some independent sleep skills.
3. Separation anxiety can rear its ugly head at this age which makes leaving your baby at sleep times especially heart wrenching. Stay consistent with your routines and your baby will gain confidence and security from the familiar patterns. Get extra snuggles during the day but avoid over-helping at night. Also, read my blog or my podcast on separation anxiety for more helpful tips!
12 month sleep regression
You may have hit this regression if...
Your baby is taking forever to fall asleep for their naps
Your baby is taking forever to fall asleep at bedtime
Your baby is waking more throughout the night
Your baby is starting their day earlier than usual
Like the 8-10 month regression, there is a lot of new mobility that can contribute to fighting sleep. But there's also a lot of language development going on behind the scenes. Your baby may not be talking a ton but their little brains are practicing and working on making those connections. This can definitely be a sleep interrupter.
While I see babies this age go through nap refusal, it's really important not to jump down to 1 nap just yet. We want to hang onto 2 naps until as close as possible to 15 months.
Some things you can do to help if you are struggling with that second nap in particular:
1. Cut off nap 1 by 11:15am.
2. Gradually increase time between nap 1 and 2 to 3.75 or 4 hours.
3. Know that it's okay if nap 2 is getting shorter (30-45 minutes). It becomes less and less restorative as you near the transition to 1 nap so don't fret!
18 month sleep regression
This regression can center around several transitions.
1.Your toddler is probably walking by this age and extremely active.
2. They are also learning that they can say, "No." Yikes, that's terrifying! 😩
This new defiance is rough, but stay firm with your sleep expectations. When our boundaries aren't firm and clear, we actually encourage our toddler to keep testing those boundaries because they get stuck in testing mode.
3. The 2-1 nap transition has probably happened by now but I notice a prevalent problem with this transition.
Parents may make the switch but they never move bedtime earlier. Sometimes this isn't a problem right away but over time, it leads to overtiredness that rears it's ugly head in night wakings, early wake ups, bedtime protesting, and nap refusals.
To combat this, a good rule of thumb is to avoid more than 5 hours between the end of nap and bedtime.
4. Lastly, separation anxiety peaks again. Ugh. I know it's tempting to stay in the room and sneak out after they fall asleep but I would encourage you to not do that (unless, of course, you don't mind continuing it).
What I see happen here is that the child takes longer and longer to settle at bedtime with Mom or Dad in the room. Then, they may start resisting sleep hardcore because they recognize that when they fall asleep, you leave.
Plus, if they get used to you staying with them at bedtime, then any night waking, they are sure to expect the same!
Be sure to check out my blog Toddler sleep & why it sucks for more helpful info on this stage.
24 month sleep regression
Going through the 2 year sleep regression? Here are 4 common problem areas I see:
Naptime is not optional- Yup, I said it. Of course, we can't control if our child naps but we can control the consistency with which we offer naptime.
Naptime should happen everyday, regardless of whether or not they actually sleep. We need to keep the framework in place so that when their nap strike is over, they can seamlessly fall back into naps.
Don’t give up on napping and don’t cut it short. If you reach the end of nap time and your toddler has yet to nap, be sure to offer an early bedtime so that they aren’t a wreck that night.
Testing Limits- Your toddler is good at testing boundaries. And they should be! Boundary testing is an important part of their learning and development! But as parents, our job is to hold the important boundaries firm so that your child can figure out what you expect of them.
They will keep pushing and pushing until they understand exactly where that limit is. And they can’t know where the limit is if we, as parents, don’t show them.
This, I believe, is the main reason why toddler sleep can get so out of hand. We give a little here, we give a little there, and before we know it, our toddler is testing every single limit that we have around sleep. In the end we feel like we are constantly fighting them so we just give up and find ourselves in a sleep situation that we never wanted to be in.
FOMO- Your toddler can totally understand now that just because they go to bed, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is going to bed. Understandably, they don’t want to miss out on all the fun!
This can cause those nap refusal and bedtime battles. Unfortunately, there’s not much we can do on this front. Your toddler still needs an earlier bedtime than Mom and Dad, even though they will likely protest this.
Night Time Fears- There's a lot to unpack with this issue so instead I'll direct you to my previous podcast or blog about night fears and how to handle them.
My motto for handling baby sleep regressions
Can I be honest about something? Sleep regressions are a bit of a mystery. There is no magic list of sleep regressions. (Yes, I realize the irony of this after giving you a month by month list above!)
But here's the thing. Regressions are a bit of a mystery because your baby is not a robot. Sometimes they struggle with sleep for no logical reason. Sometimes they go through milestones differently than the baby next to them. Sometimes you don't know if it's a sleep regression or sniffles or teething or a full moon!
And that is really hard as parents. We want to know WHY and WHAT is causing the issue with our children. When we don't know the why & what, we feel so much more helpless. When we can blame it on a regression or teething, we feel better. This is kind of just a normal part of parenting.
Given that sleep regressions can kind of happen all over the place, I want to give you my motto for dealing with a regression in your child's sleep.
Don't start anything you don't wish to continue.
Now, this advice is harder to put into practice than it is to say, I fully understand that. But when we rush in, or we change up sleep expectations, or we lose our confidence in children's ability to fall asleep, we can get stuck there. And that sleep regression that may have only lasted for a week or two has now been happening for a month.
I want to be clear about what I'm NOT saying. I'm NOT saying that you have to ignore your child or that you can't offer comfort when it's needed. You CAN do those things! Just be mindful of how much you are helping and what your child has been capable of up until this point. Try not to over-help and always be curious about what is the least amount of help you can offer so that their sleep isn't totally derailed during these regressions.
Oh how I wish there was actually a way to skip baby sleep regressions. They truly suck 😂
Unfortunately, it's a part of parenting that we don't get to skip. Like most things with kids, some will be hit hard by sleep regressions and others will hardly be bothered. While there are no fool proof ways to skip regressions, I hope this run-down was helpful to you!