Truth bomb incoming, tired mama: toddler sleep problems are not just a phase. While it’s easy to dismiss sleepless nights and fussy bedtimes as something that will simply resolve itself over time, the reality is that these sleep phases can quickly morph into lasting habits. So, if you’re hoping for a magical solution that allows your little one to drift into dreamland without a fuss, it’s time to recalibrate your expectations and take action!
Why toddler sleep phases matter
As a parent, you may be familiar with the ever-changing nature of your toddler’s sleep patterns. One week, they may fall asleep without a hitch, while the next, they might resist bedtime like it’s a full-time job. It’s easy to chalk these fluctuations up to typical developmental phases, but the truth is that how you address these sleep challenges right now can have a profound impact on your child’s long-term sleep habits.
When you allow sleep issues to persist without intervention, you risk establishing patterns that can become deeply ingrained. Your toddler may learn that resisting sleep is an effective strategy to get attention or that they can delay bedtime by creating fuss. Over time, these behaviors can evolve into habits that are much harder to break, leading to ongoing battles at bedtime and restless nights for the entire family.
Now, I'm not saying that sleep disruptions won't happen because of outside factors like: molars coming in, getting over sickness, dealing with the addition of a new sibling, adjusting from crib to bed, starting a new school or daycare, and your typical toddler developmental changes. BUT, if you pick up unhealthy or unsustainable habits during these disruptions, then you can't expect your child to suddenly go back to how they were sleeping before. It is going to take *work* to get them back there.
Meet Laia, a recent client:
Laia is the mom of a 3 year old little girl named Dorothy. This 3 year was sleep trained as a baby and has been a beautiful and consistent sleeper ever since. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, something changed. Dorothy started her first week of preschool and her sleep started to go downhill. Before starting preschool she was easily falling asleep on her own in bed after softly singing to herself for 5-10 minutes. She was sleeping through the night and waking up around 6:30am, rested and happy and ready to start the day. She was also napping for about an hour each afternoon. After her first week of preschool she started resisting bedtime for 45-60 minutes each night, did not want her parents to leave the room like they always have, was waking several times in the night scared, and starting her day before 6am. On top of all that, she was refusing her nap too!
At first Laia wondered if her sleep needs had just changed- but that would be a pretty drastic change. Then Laia wondered if they just needed to "give in" and follow her lead with sleep, staying the room longer, pushing bedtime later, letting her start her day earlier, and skipping naps. But after about a week of that Laia could clearly see this wasn't helping Dorothy- in fact it was making things worse. This happy and playful 3 year old was now having multiple daily meltdowns and just not acting like herself.
Laia knew she needed to do something but just wasn't sure how to move forward and that's when she reached out to me. We were able to create a plan of action that helped Laia feel calm and confident holding important sleep boundaries for Dorothy. It wasn't easy breezy but Laia knew what Dorothy was capable of and she knew that on the other side of this struggle was better sleep for the family and a happier Dorothy so she pushed through. Within around 10 days, Dorothy was back to her old sleeping patterns and feeling (and acting) much more rested. Laia expressed to me that, "Not only did I gain confidence in my parenting abilities through this, Dorothy also has gained confidence that she can do hard things and overcome them!"
The good news: change is possible
I hope that story about Laia and Dorothy above gave you hope. This is a story that I have seen play out over and over and over again during my years working with families. Because here's the good news: with the right guidance and a proactive approach, you can turn the tide and help your toddler establish healthy sleep habits. Instead of waiting for the phase to magically end, now is the time to equip yourself with strategies and tools to create a peaceful bedtime routine.
Imagine a scenario where bedtime isn’t a struggle but a predictable and enjoyable experience for both you and your toddler. Picture your little one drifting off to sleep with ease, allowing you to enjoy your evenings without the stress of sleepless nights. This dream can become a reality with consistent efforts and the right support.
Take the first step towards better sleep
If you’re ready to stop blaming the latest sleep woe on a "phase" and start taking proactive steps to get your good sleeper back, check out my Toddler Sleep Workshop, where you can learn how to tackle those habits head-on and set your little one up for great sleep moving forward.
Or, if you'd prefer to work directly with me like Laia and Dorothy, check out my Classic Consultation. Together, we’ll explore effective strategies tailored to your child’s unique needs, and create a plan of action as I support you through implementing it. It's time to get your good sleeper back and become the calm and confident leader at bedtime that your child needs.
