If you’ve spent any time researching baby sleep, you’ve probably come across some opinions about sleep training. And let’s be honest—some of them can sound pretty extreme.

❌ “Sleep training is just ignoring your baby.”
❌ “It’s a traumatic experience.”
❌ “It’s only a thing because of modern society and the patriarchy.”

But here’s the truth: You’ve been lied to.

Let’s break down five of the biggest myths about sleep training and what you actually need to know.

 

Lie #1: What’s best for the baby is all that matters

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the only thing that matters is what’s “best” for the baby. But here’s the reality: What’s best for baby isn’t actually best for baby if mom is suffering.

Your physical and mental health matters too. When you’re exhausted, burned out, and struggling, that impacts your baby just as much as their sleep does. Prioritizing your well-being isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

 

Lie #2: Sleep training is just ignoring your baby’s cries

One of the biggest misconceptions is that sleep training means walking away and never looking back. But if that were true, it wouldn’t be called a sleep training method.

Sleep training is about teaching your baby independent sleep skills while still responding to them. Do the responses look different from how you’ve been handling sleep? Of course. But sleep training doesn’t mean neglect—it means helping your baby (and yourself) get the rest you need.

 

Lie #3: Sleep training is too stressful for babies

Let’s be real: Life is stressful. And while we don’t want to stress our babies unnecessarily, we also can’t protect them from every little challenge.

Learning to sleep independently might be frustrating for your child at first, but that doesn’t mean it’s harmful. Think about all the things we expect our kids to learn—using a car seat, brushing their teeth, eating solid foods. Some of these come with discomfort and pushback, but they’re still necessary skills.

 

Lie #4: Falling asleep alone is a traumatic experience

I have to tell you, as a foster parent, this lie absolutely infuriates me. Trauma is a real thing that unfortunately, many children do go through as they grow up. But I struggle not to roll my eyes when sleep training is referred to as causing trauma. 

There’s a big difference between learning something new and experiencing trauma. Falling asleep independently may be different from what your baby is used to, and they might not love the change right away. But calling it trauma? That’s a big stretch.

A well-rested baby in a loving home, learning a new skill with supportive parents? That’s not trauma—that’s growth. 

 

Lie #5: Sleep training is a product of Western ideals & the patriarchy

One argument against sleep training is that it only exists because of Western work schedules and societal pressures. And while those factors might play a role in why some parents decide to sleep train, they aren’t the only reasons.

At the end of the day, your job isn’t to fix society. Your job is to do what’s best for your family. If that means sleep training so you can function as a better parent, then that’s what you should do—regardless of what the anti-sleep training crowd says.

 

So where does that leave us?

Next time you come across anti-sleep training rhetoric on your feed, remember this:

✔️ Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your baby.
✔️ Sleep training doesn’t mean ignoring your child.
✔️ All stress is not created equal- there is such a thing as positive stress.
✔️ Learning to sleep independently isn’t traumatic.
✔️ You don’t need to carry the weight of society’s flaws on your shoulders.

So if sleep training is the right choice for your family, go for it—guilt-free. 💛

 

 

Want to work more on your relationship with tears?

Check out my 3 Day Free Crying Challenge here and be sure to check out my other blog post (and YouTube video) about crying here. If you are ready to work with a professional to help you make sustainable sleep changes for your little one... Here is a link to my free scheduler so we can talk through your situation and see if we'd make a good fit to work together!