6 Misconceptions about safe sleep

October is Safe Sleep month and SIDS Awareness month so we thought it would be helpful to go over the 6 common misconceptions we hear about safe sleep. We also talk about the difference between SIDS (also known as SUID) and ASSB.

6 Misconceptions:

1. If I don't room share, my baby is at a higher risk.
2. I have to buy a super expensive mattress for better breathability.
3. Bed sharing is safe as long as I follow the Safe Sleep 7.
4. It's okay to put my baby in XYZ to sleep as long as it's supervised.
5. Mesh bumpers are safe to use because they are breathable.
6. Anything and everything marketed for sleep is safe to use for sleeping.

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Today we are going to be talking about safe sleep. October is safe sleep month and SIDS Awareness Month. And so we thought we would kind of dive into just the six misconceptions about safe sleep, but also about the importance of safe sleep. So Carianna Take it away when we're

talking about SIDS. And SIDS is also referred to sometimes as su ID, which is sudden unexpected infant death. So you may hear of interchangeably sometimes, basically just means that we can't clearly state what caused the infant's death. And this is in little ones that are 12 months and under. But then there's also another facet to safe sleep besides SIDS. And that is just death that can happen during sleep. And so oftentimes, that is referred to as a SSB, or accidental suffocation and strangulation in bed. So there's kind of two sides to this coin. Not only do we want to practice safe sleep to reduce the risk of SIDS, but also to prevent a SSB deaths as well. So I know today is kind of a tough, tough topic. Not necessarily fun to think about. But I do believe it's really important to be informed so that we can make the decisions that are right for our family. And so before I kind of jump in, I do just want to make sure if you don't practice safe sleep, maybe it's because you didn't know what you're doing is unsafe. Or maybe you did know that it's not the safest option, and you still are choosing to do it. This is not meant to be judgmental or shaming, we just want to make sure that everyone has the facts so they can make their own decisions. Because if you listen to our episode from a couple weeks ago, you know Kayla and I both did unsafe sleep practices as well. So yes, we're right there, right there in the same boat with you. And some of those were things that we just didn't know better. And some of them were things that we probably did know better and still chose to make those decisions. So we get that. But we just want to make sure you have all the info possible. Okay, so I think maybe let's just do a quick refresh of the basics of safe sleep. Before we get into some of these misconceptions. The ABCs are what I like to use, because they're really easy to remember. And these are kind of the core safe sleep, things that we can do. They are what we call preventative factors, and they reduce the risk of SIDS. And they will totally prevent a SSB. If you're following these safe these ABCs of safe sleep. Okay, so A is for alone. So we always want your baby to sleep alone without blankets or pillows or pets or siblings or other family members parents in their sleep space, we want them to be totally alone in their sleep space. B is for back so we always want to place them on their back to sleep. And once they're old enough where they can roll and get to their side or their tummy, then that's okay for them to sleep there. But until they can move to that position on their own, we always always start them on their back and keep them on their back. And then C is for crib. But this could also be bassinet or pack and play basically a flat, firmer surface for them to sleep on. So shouldn't be sleeping on couches, or DACA tots or adult mattresses or car seats or swings or you name it, it should just be a flat firm surface for them to sleep on. So those are the basics.

Okay, and since now we know the basics, we're gonna go ahead and share with you the six common misconceptions. So the first one is, if I don't share my baby, is that higher risk?

Yes, and I hear this one a lot. And there can be some confusion because there are so many recommendations out there. So the ABCs that we just talked about, those are preventative measures that you can take that directly reduce the risk of SIDS or assp. Now room sharing is falls under the protective factor categories. So that's also with things like pacifiers are a protective factor. What we know is that if you don't room share, or if you don't use the pacifier that does not increase

crease your risk of a SIDS event happening. So if you choose not to room share and from day one, your child goes into their own crib in their own room, you are not increasing their risk in any way. I sometimes use this analogy and you may have heard this before, of a broom sharing is like wearing a seatbelt. So wearing a seatbelt would protect me if I got into a car accident. But wearing a seatbelt does not keep me from getting into a car accident in the first place. So that's kind of how you can look at room sharing. And what I will add and this is purely anecdotal, but sometimes with some families, I find that room sharing almost leads to more unsafe sleep habits and to not following the ABCs which are kind of the gold standard. Because the child is right there next to them in the room, it's so much easier in the middle of the night to just grab them and pull them into bed with you

and to make an unsafe choice that is a much bigger deal than if they were in their room across the hall. So every family kind of needs to decide that you know for themselves what Kayla, what did you guys do as far as room sharing those? Well, as I think a couple podcasts ago, I talked about Ellis and how he slept on us for the first three months because he had really awful reflux but so I mean that right there, not the safest choice. And then with Amory, he did

just fine in a bassinet right next to our bed. So he started at

a bassinet, and then we moved him to a crib in our room. And then we moved him into his own room. He was he was he actually we, we follow the rules way better with a second. I think that's how a lot of people's experience goes, you know? Alright, and the second common misconception is I have to buy a super expensive mattress for better breathability Have you seen those? Really? I was I just sent you one not that long ago. That's like, kind of like birds nestie like it. It's like newly the mattress is new Italy. I don't know what they're called. But I think supposedly supposed to be better because your kid can be face down and breathe through it or something.

And it's very expensive. I don't Yeah, I don't want to shame any companies. But it was just like, I'd sent it to carry on and I was just like, Can you imagine? I don't know I we didn't spend that much. No, we're cheap. So we are also cheap, but you do not have to have a super expensive mattress for it to be safe and I am just gonna come out and say I remember I think the company that you sent me I know the one that I'm familiar with is Newton and they can run like three to $500 for a mattress which is insane in my opinion. And we're going to talk about this a little more with another misconception but breathe ability is very much a marketing term and it is not something that is like governed by any organization or that is like testable or provable it's literally not measured, right? Yeah, yeah, it's not measurable. It's just this company decided we're going to use the term breathable and they put that on there and parents like lap it up. Yeah. So know that those mattresses are not safer. A crib mattress which we kind of talked about that flat firm space crib mattresses are made to be flat and firm. And so they're not going to conform to your child's nose and mouth if they are rolling over and you know face planting in the mattress so any certified crib mattress is fine. You do not have to spend top dollar

to have a safe sleeping space. All right, and then the third one is and I've actually never heard of these though. I'll be excited to hear bed sharing as safe as long

as I follow the safe sleep seven and the seven are nonsmoker sober or unimpaired breastfeeding, healthy and full term on back quietly dressed and safe service. Yes and what they oh I'm gonna get a lot of I may get flack for this but this is often an argument like oh bedsharing safe as long as you follow the safe sleep seven and while I will definitely give it to you that that makes it safer if we're following these things. It is still not safe. It is not the gold standard. It is not What we know is going to reduce the risk of SIDS and prevent a SSB that's not the case. So safer Yes. And then it's kind of up to the family to decide if they're comfortable with so having that degree of risk that is still very much present. And you know what I would encourage you there's there's different resources you can look at, if you are planning to bed share, or if you maybe reactively are bed sharing, it wasn't part of your plan, but you've just kind of ended up there to make sure that if that's what you're choosing to do, that you're doing it as safe as possible. So check out the safe sleep seven, you can Google it and find more info about it. Mainly, you know, other than making sure that the adult is, you know, a nonsmoker is unimpaired you know, not not under the influence of alcohol or medication, that you're breastfeeding, that your baby was healthy and full term. We don't want to be bed sharing with any preterm babies or babies with medical issues. But then also, that safe surface, which is one of the seven is basically making sure that the bed is bare, that there is no way for your baby to be wedged between the bed and the wall, the bed and the headboard, that there's like zero possibility that that could happen. Ideally, a mattress would be on the floor so they can't roll out. And definitely, you know, the firmest possible adult mattress you can have nothing that is squishy, or pillow top or memory foam. So again, that is not what I would recommend, I would recommend that you have your baby

in their own space. But if that is not something that you can do, or are choosing to do, then taking as many precautions as

you can to make the bed sharing safer. But knowing it's not safe. Did I say that enough? Sorry. Yeah, it's I mean, it's the parent deciding that it's worth the risk for them. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And that's, I mean, we all have to make those choices every day. I think we've kind of all learned that with COVID over the last year and a half, like we are making risk benefit decisions all the time. And this is another one of those. So I would encourage you, if you

are still trying to figure out, definitely read up on it more and look at specifically what the AAP the American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending,

because they are kind of a good governing body for all things safe sleep. The number four common misconception is, it's okay to put my baby in X, Y, or Z to sleep as long as it's supervised, and I am guilty of this. Yes, and you're not alone, Kayla, I have been guilty of this too. And it's um it's sounds kind of morbid, but unless you are watching your child intently the whole time that they're sleeping in XYZ, you know, whatever that is, sleeping and dead, not breathing look very similar, you know, and that it really just takes a matter of seconds or minutes for that to happen. And so that that is a misconception I hear a lot and so, you know, I will hear that with things like the dockatot or, you know, like a Boppy or, like with the rock and play before it was recalled. And even after I've seen people say like, well, we'll still use it just for supervised. Those are not safe places for your baby to sleep. And so you know, you are taking that risk, even if you're calling it supervised, it's not, not necessarily always supervised. And along that I have some people that will say maybe they're not physically watching their child, but they have like one of those outlet baby monitors, you know, that alerts them to if the breathing rate changes or anything like that.

And my issue with those is that their technology and I think we all know how often technology fails us, you know, and

is that is that really something that we want to be counting on when we're putting our child in an unsafe space? Okay, the number five common misconception is mesh bumpers are safe to use because they are breathable, yep, there's that breathable marketing term again. These companies are smart man because they I mean they just know like when you're tired, you're exhausted as a parent. And they just know they know how to market things, unfortunately. But any kind of bumpers whether they are the mesh ones, whether they are labeled as breathable or not, are not considered safe. Most crib manuals are going to explicitly state that you should not add anything extra to the crib. And you know, that's because your crib has been safety tested and gone through rigorous testing in its own state. And so adding anything else is is they can't guarantee that it's safe and same thing with your bassinet or your play are those all go through rigorous testing. And the the risk with bumpers is that there could be suffocation but there's also a strangulation risk if anything were to come on loose or to get you know, accidentally untied by your your other child by your toddler walking in the room, I mean, anything like that, there just is always that suffocation and strangulation risk. So we want to stay away from bumpers. And I know that's hard, especially when our little ones become more mobile and they are like, you know, moving around and everything. But having a limb that is temporarily stuck in a crib slat is a much, much better alternative to, you know, the risk of something else more severe happening. And if it's really bothering you, you can stick your child like if they're in a crib and they're always getting a leg stuck and it's making them unhappy. Start using a pack and play for a while because the pack and play sides are not crib slats, right? So they can't get a limb stuck outside of them. So I think that's really helpful. Kayla, you don't you don't watch Grey's Anatomy, right? I do not know. I wish I get you on board.

I love Grey's Anatomy. But what I hate about it is every time

one of the doctors has a baby. It's like you see their room and their their crib is like bumpers and blankets. And I'm like to this is a doctor

show. A super cozy they've got the mobiel hanging on top of it. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, you can't put bumpers in a crib. This is a doctor show like people try to take medical information from this show. Yeah,

that's just a pet peeve of mine. All right, the last common misconception is and this is kind of what we've been kind of talking about with the previous misconceptions

is that anything and everything marketed for sleep is safe to use for sleeping. Yep. And, and this is another one that as as a sleep consultant, as an as an advocate for safe sleep. This bothers me to no end there. It should be it should be.

We should not be selling things that are not safe. Right? It's very unfortunate, because as a first time parent, you usually don't know and then when you're desperate, you start making not the greatest decisions. So it's sad. It really is and you know, it just I think it was just last week or recently the Boppy loungers have been recalled very recently. Those are something that weren't even technically marketed to sleep I believe their tag actually said do not use for sleep but you know there have been babies that have died even when their parent has used you know the body correctly put them on their back they they have died sleeping in there and so things like that being recalled, I'm I'm calling it now I've been saying it for a while and anybody who's you know follows safe sleep will will probably agree dockatot it is just a matter of time before that is recalled before there is some kind of recall with that because that is not a safe sleep space. And dockatot you know, in recent years has to be fair, they've done a good job of getting away from advertising the dockatot for sleep and now they specifically say that it's not for sleep, but for any for them. Right right it's I mean, it's it's a lounger like you're supposed to just put your baby in it when they're hanging out but like Hello, that's what the floor and a blanket is for I don't know why we need you know, however expensive a dark cloud is and at the beginning it was very much used and recommended for sleep and for bed sharing and

they have since gotten away from that marketing but the damage is done because that's what people use it for. That's what people recommend it for

and and people just don't realize that that that is not safe. The racket play has been recalled you know, that was a couple years ago. I was a rockin player. Yep, yep with my first and then yeah, once it was recalled, I was like Oh, nope, nope. Yeah, I know. And it's it's so frustrating because you know, that was something else. I think it was marketed as like a sleeper. And that is is not safe. So what I want to leave you guys with is that there are Three safety approved spaces for sleep three only. And they are things labeled as a bassinet as a crib, or as a play yard, also known as a pack and play. So those are the only three that have passed the testing that are considered safe. They should say that they are one of those three things in the manual. So sometimes people and I think they're cracking down on this, but sometimes people will be sneaky in like their Amazon listing. So the title of the Amazon listing, they say bassinet, but it is not truly a bassinet, so you have to get a little creative, I wish that we didn't have to dig in that it was just straight up easy to tell what's safe and what's not. But this is kind of our world and capitalism and marketing and all of that crap right now. So, bassinet, crib play yard, those are the only three spaces that are tested, and actually safe for sleep. Alright guys, thank you so much for joining us. And I hope again, I hope that this did not feel at all like a guilting you or shaming you. Our goal with this is just to make sure you have the info you need. And to clear up some common misconceptions that I hear very often from parents. in the show notes, I'm going to link some resources, I'm going to link my safe sleep blog posts that kind of goes over those basics again, so you can check it out. It also has some more specific links within it. And there's also what would you call it like specific item numbers, if you're looking into what bassinet or crib or packing plate, if the item you're looking at is actually one of those there are some more specific numbers on them that can help you if you're purchasing something. So check that out. And then I'm also going to link a Facebook group that is is a good reference for understanding what is safe sleep. And

if you are wanting to really practice safe sleep, they offer some helpful support, so I'm going to link them as well. So you can check them out. Okay, and last thing that I want to say is, is that if you are following anybody on Instagram, or in any Facebook groups, and you feel like you are being judged, be done, be done with them, okay? Because like we were talking about, there are the safe sleep rules, and then there are risks that we decided to take.

So of course we're

gonna say, use the safe sleep rules. But we also want to talk about if you are making those risks, how to make them safer. So if you feel like you're being judged in any part of raising your children, don't let that into your life. Okay, nothing but love and understanding here.

Thank you so much for listening to the sleep talking moms podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a second to read and review. Each review helps more tired and overwhelmed moms find simple and practical advice. See you back here soon.

Posted in Baby Sleep, Newborn Sleep, Safe Sleep.