Do offer assistance if needed
This one should be a no-brainer but sometimes it just needs to be said. You can ALWAYS comfort your sick child. And if they just need a bit more help to fall asleep, go for it. This isn’t weakness or a “bad” habit. This is about meeting your little one where they are and offering more support when necessary.
Don't overhelp and rush to lots of assistance
While we can absolutely offer more support, we do want to be mindful of what that looks like. If your child is usually an independent sleeper, then you don’t want to rush straight to feeding them to sleep and pulling them into your bed. That’s why I recommend visualizing a ladder when deciding to offer more support. When you are climbing a ladder, you don’t jump all the way up to the top rung. You take the ladder one step at a time. And that’s how I recommend you approach assisting your child to sleep:
+ At the top of the ladder are the most hands-on and invasive ways to assist to sleep like: pulling them into your bed, nursing to sleep, contact sleeping
+ In the middle of the ladder would be assistance like: patting to drowsy/asleep, holding until drowsy but placing down before fully asleep
+ At the bottom of the ladder are the least hands-on and interfering ways to offer support like: soothing words, checking in but not staying as they fall asleep, picking up to fully soothe before placing down still awake
Do let them sleep a little more than usual
It’s normal during sickness for your child to want to sleep more during the day. This may manifest itself as longer naps than usual or it may look like lots of short, frequent naps with shorter wake windows than usual. This is generally not a problem. You can let them lead with this and don’t stress if their schedule gets thrown off while they are sick. Hydration is another important factor throughout the day so you don’t want their daytime sleeping to impede their ability to get the fluids they need throughout the day. In general though, allowing them the opportunity to sleep more during the day is a great way for their body to fight off the illness and recover.
Don't let them go overboard with naps if it messes with night sleep
However, when it comes to increasing their daytime sleep, just make sure that it’s not negatively impacting their night sleep. If it reaches a point where you find they are unable to sleep well at night or they wake up overnight for long periods of time, that is a sign that you need to pull back on daytime napping. Daytime napping is beneficial but night sleep is the most restorative and therefore we want to prioritize night sleep over excessive daytime napping when sick.
Do let them sleep at night without interruption
Continuing with the idea above about how important night sleep is, it’s important not to be disruptive to your baby’s night sleep. I know it can be tempting to go in and touch them and check on them and maybe even take their temperature multiple times but sometimes it’s overkill. Their sleep is already likely to be interrupted because of the sickness, they don’t need you to be disturbing them too.
Don't interrupt them unless absolutely necessary
Unless your pediatrician has said you need to do these things and you need to be checking on them frequently overnight (and potentially waking them), then don’t do it. Leave them be- I know it’s hard! Any checking you do should not disrupt your baby or pose the potential to wake them up.
Of course, for more serious illnesses, you may be required to check their breathing overnight or check their temperature but overall, the most common sicknesses you’ll deal with will not require that level of intervention overnight. Be in communication with your pediatrician and don’t be afraid to ask questions!
Do stay close if you prefer
It is totally okay to stay closer to your child in the night while they sleep (as long as you aren’t disrupting them- no snorers aloud ). Feel free to camp out in their room on the floor or in a rocking chair if that will help you feel better and if you feel that’s necessary given the severity of their symptoms.
Don't bring them into your room
But we don’t want to move them into your room, or any other room that’s not their usual sleep environment, during sickness. Your baby is going to sleep the best in their own sleep space and in the same conditions they are used to every other night. Disrupting their sleep environment can cause them to wake more often and that’s the opposite of what we want during illness. If you feel the need to remain close throughout the night, grab an air mattress and set up camp in their room instead of pulling them into your bed.
Do be prepared to get your previous sleep habits back after they are healthy
Once you’ve gotten through the thick of things and your child is feeling better again, don’t expect that they will go right back to their usual sleep habits without fuss. There is a small percentage of babies who are more easy going and will do this but a majority of babies will need your help to reset sleep expectations and sleep schedules. This is something you can start as soon as they are feeling better and seem like themselves again.
Don't expect them to magically go back to sleeping independently after being sick
You may need to wake them in the morning at their usual wake up time, cap naps, stretch wake windows back to what they were, and just keep a stricter eye on their sleep schedule for a couple days. If your child got used to your support to fall asleep at bedtime, naptime, and night wakings, then you’ll want to start laying them down fully awake again once they are healthy. You’ll probably need to pull your sleep coaching method out of your back pocket and apply it at put downs for a few days.
Giving more space and time for them to fall asleep on their own is crucial to getting sleep habits back on track. It’s not that they “unlearned” how to fall asleep on their own, it’s that their habits were tweaked while sick and they need to reestablish their independent sleep habits now that they are better again.
Feeling overwhelmed?
If you need help getting sleep back on track after sickness but you’re feeling overwhelmed about where you can even begin... Here is a link to my scheduler so we can talk through your situation and see if we'd make a good fit to work together. If you are a past client or student, schedule your troubleshooting call here instead!