As a pediatric sleep consultant, I often hear this simple question: Why Won’t My Baby Sleep Through The Night?

Now, if you are a parent who has asked this, you know that the myriad of answers you will hear can be confusing, defeating, and just downright overwhelming! With this article, I hope to simplify and offer encouragement to all the exhausted parents out there reading this. There are typically 4 main reasons why your baby isn’t sleeping through the night.

1. Your baby is not physically capable of sleeping through the night because of her age.

Oftentimes, parents have very unrealistic expectations of what their children are capable of sleep-wise. Maybe your neighbor’s daughter had a baby who slept through the night at 4 weeks and so you assume that is normal and expect your 4-week-old to be able to do the same.

Unfortunately, your neighbor’s daughter’s baby is not the norm. There can be a lot of variability within newborns as far as sleep needs go but usually around 3-5 months these differences start to even out.

 

 

Sometime between 3 and 6 months, your baby will be capable of sleeping 8-12 hours at night. Most babies still need 2 feedings overnight at 3-4 months but by 5 months, most babies only need 1-0 feeding overnight. At 6 months old, the majority of babies are capable of sleeping through the night with no feedings.

Now, with all of that being said, every baby is going to be different. You should never force your baby to give up a night feeding if you feel she is hungry. I always encourage my clients to speak to their pediatricians before dropping any night feedings.

Maybe you are reading these figures and thinking to yourself, “Wait, my baby is 12 months old and still wakes several times a night, so if she is capable of sleeping through the night, then WHY isn’t she?” Read on. 🙂

 

2. Your baby’s sleeping environment is not conducive to sleep.

Sometimes we just need to make some small environmental changes to help our babies get the most out of their sleep. Your baby’s sleep becomes lighter and lighter as the night goes on so that in the early morning, they are awoken much easier. Also, during those summer months when it starts to get light early, your baby may be awoken by that morning sun.

For these reasons, keeping your baby’s room very, very dark (at nighttime and naptime) is very important. Melatonin is the hormone that helps regulate our sleep and it’s production can be suppressed by even the slightest amount of light.

White noise is another reliable way to help your baby sleep through the night. White noise is easy to use and can help drown out sounds of the house and other siblings. These other sounds in the house can be over stimulating and distract your baby from trying to fall back asleep.

At the same time, white noise can be soothing and help signal to your baby that she needs to fall back to sleep if she does awaken in the night. Some parents worry about white noise becoming a sleep prop, but it is much easier to transport and use white noise (sound machine, smartphone, tablet) than it is to create a completely silent environment for your baby to fall asleep in.

 

3. Your baby does not have an age-appropriate sleep schedule.

There are two different ways that an inappropriate sleep schedule can affect night sleep. The first is that your baby is getting too much day sleep in the form of naps and therefore her total wake time is too low and she will make up for this by waking several times at night. There are several rules for naps that can help to keep your baby from getting too much daytime sleep.

For instance, no single nap should exceed 2 hours. If your baby is still sound asleep after a 2-hour nap, it’s time to wake her up! I know this sounds counterproductive but if you don’t wake your baby up, you are essentially stealing sleep from the night. 

 

 

The second way, and much more common, is that your baby is not getting enough sleep each day. This creates a vicious cycle. Your baby becomes overtired, her body produces cortisol (stress hormone) which makes it harder to fall asleep at naps and bedtime and creates more night wakings, your baby becomes even more tired because of this inability to sleep, and the cycle continues.

If your baby is not getting ENOUGH day sleep, that is going to cause more night wakings! We really want to work hard to ensure your baby is getting the right amount of day sleep, the correct number of naps, and that those naps are occurring at the right time each day.

 

4. Your baby relies on you to put her to sleep for naps and bedtime and therefore she has never learned to fall back asleep on her own in the middle of the night.

This is the most common reason why babies are unable to sleep through the night. Simply put, they are never taught how. If you are the one putting your baby to sleep each night, instead of teaching your baby how to do it herself, she will need you often throughout the night to fall back asleep.

Here’s a secret: No baby sleeps through the night. EVERY baby (and adult for that matter) wakes several times throughout the night. Babies who “sleep through the night” just know how to put themselves back to sleep without signaling to mom or dad for help.

Learning independent sleep is a super important skill for your baby to learn, and it is one that she will need to use for the rest of her life!

This last one can be a doozy. I often find that it is harder for the parents to give up their nightly routine (rocking/nursing/holding baby to sleep) than it is for the actual baby!

Teaching your baby to sleep is like teaching her any other skill in life: how to tie shoes, how to use the potty, learning to walk or ride a bike. It can be hard to let go and see your baby struggle with new skills, but you do it because you know how necessary learning these skills are. 

Need help teaching your baby to fall asleep independently? Apply to work with me!