Ahhh the bedtime routine. I remember reading all about a good bedtime routine as a new parent. Here's the thing, a good bedtime routine is very important, but it's not the end all be all of sleep.
There's a LOT more that goes into healthy sleep than just a bedtime routine (age-appropriate schedule, consistency, independent sleep, sleep environment, etc.) but if you are starting to piece together healthy sleep for your little one, this quick read on bedtime routines will get you on the right foot!
What is a good bedtime routine?
I like to use the 5 B's as a good reminder of what the bedtime routine should encompass:
Bottle/Breast
This is your bedtime feeding and it should take place at the very beginning of the bedtime routine which is the opposite of what most parents do/think. (For more information on feeding to sleep associations, check out my Sleep Prop post) Once your child gets past the age of needing to drink right before bed, this step will phase out.
Body
This can mean many different things. Bath time, wash hands, teeth brushing, potty time, and/or getting dressed in pajamas. I love having a bath be part of the bedtime routine IF you can fit it in without pushing bedtime too late.
I even go further to say that you don't have to do a bath every single night if you don't want to but a warm bath can increase melatonin production and therefore it's a great pre-bedtime ritual.
Books
This is a great time to sit calmly in your child's bedroom and read a story or two. The type and number of stories you read will depend on your child's age. For a 3 month old, you'll probably just look at the pictures in a short board book. For a 3 year old, you may read 1 or 2 longer stories.
The important thing to remember, particularly with those toddlers, is to pick a consistent number of books and stick with it each night so that stalling for more books doesn't become an issue.
Bond
Here is where you can insert your hugs and kisses, your nightly prayers, or sharing about your favorite part of the day. If you are a family that likes to do a singing and rocking routine, you can do that here too. BUT the goal of this singing and rocking is not to put your child to sleep, it's to add in snuggles and bonding.
Bedtime Cue
This is the last piece. You want to have a consistent bedtime cue that is the final whammy showing your child it's time to fall asleep. In our house, this is the white noise turning on and the lights turning off. You should also have a consistent phrase your say to your child as you lay them down awake.
How long should my baby's bedtime routine take?
A good amount of time for a bedtime routine is between 15 and 30 minutes. You would be on the longer end of that if you are incorporating a short bath within your routine.
The younger your little one is, the shorter this routine will start and it will grow with your child. You obviously aren't going to be doing a 30 minutes bedtime routine with your newborn! (For more information about your newborn's sleep, check out my Free Newborn Cheat Sheet!)
And an older child may need more time to wind down, with a calm period and dimmer lights before the B's even begin.
When should you start a bedtime routine?
I like to see parents starting a bedtime routine as soon as they get home from the hospital. As I've mentioned above, it's very low key and short in the newborn stage.
If you are reading this well after the newborn stage, it's never too late to start!
If you're past the newborn stage, you can start a bedtime routine at any point in time and it will be beneficial to your child's sleep, even if you aren't ready to make independent sleep a priority yet.
How do I get my child into a bedtime routine?
If you have a toddler or preschooler and you are unsure how to proceed with implementing a healthy bedtime routine, I'm a big fan of the Family Meeting. Sit down with everyone in the house and discuss the new bedtime changes.
Make a visual chart that lays out each step of the routine that you will follow. This makes it easy to help your child get back on track if they start stalling or getting distracted.
Most importantly, remain consistent and stick to your routine. They will catch on much quicker once they know what to expect.
If you've tried adjusting your bedtime routine and are still struggling with sleep, apply to work with me and we can see if we'd be a good fit!