Ever felt like sleep was going great... and then your child learned a brand new motor skill? It can be so frustrating but it is a normal part of that baby life unfortunately.
Join us as we talk through troubleshooting for these common issues and how to handle them when they mess with sleep:
•Rolling
•Crawling
•Standing
•Walking
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Episode 7: Navigating new skills and sleep
Navigating new skills and sleep
Hey guys and welcome back to episode seven of the sleep talking moms podcast today Carianna and I are going to be talking about new skills, and how they can disrupt the sleep process. So, this can be throughout babyhood toddlerhood we're talking, rolling crawling, when they pull up to stand. When they start learning how to do gymnastics, and even things like learning how to talk, and how those impacts sleep cycles, probably both have stories for this but, yeah, absolutely.
I have my own stories for sure and this is something I hear so much from families like sleeps going well and then something changes, you know, and that kind of on one end. It really sucks, because things are constantly in flux with our little ones like there's just so much growing and developing we have to be ready to roll with the punches right and it is it's just like chess right when you get it down, and things are going smooth, and then all of a sudden,
they learn how to crawl.
And so, yes, I very vividly remember being like, Yes, I got it. This is good but then always having that like fear of like, Okay, wait. Things are good but that doesn't mean they're going to be good students are like always having that constant anxiety of like it's too good to be true, something's gonna happen.
Yes, yes I can relate to that too and it's you know it's hard not to live there, but, but I do want to make sure like that we aren't living there where we're, we're either anxious about sleeping bad, or it's good and we're still anxious about when it's gonna mess up again, you know that I find I find a lot of parents get stuck there. And that's not, you know, helpful to anyone. No, that's no way to live. Right, exactly. Be prepared. Be prepared, and then remind yourself of the positives right. It's good that y
our child is developing
and growing these are things you want them to do, you know as much as you don't want sleep to be disrupted. You don't want that at the expense of them learning new things growing, yeah. Well, and I was going to share, you know when my second son, who is now five years but when he was, I don't know, around six months he started rolling a lot in the crib, and he would get stuck.
And yes, this may sound weird to some of you listening because I feel like everybody in their mom has video monitors now, but at that time, we just had an audio monitor that was all we had. And we had never owned one with my first son, we just had an audio monitor, And when my son started rolling and
getting stuck. I was like, I convinced my husband,
we needed a video monitor because I'm like, I want to be able to see if he's stuck and that's why he's in there making noise or if he's just in there making noise, you know, yeah. So that was when we first bought our video monitor so we can see like, oh yep he rolled over in the corner and he is like, stuck at a weird angle he needs help, or oh nope, he's just up there and awaken, we're gonna give him space, you know, thank you video monitors they are, they do come in handy and it's always like,
Okay, you watch it and you're like Okay wait. Okay. Navigating new skills and sleep Is he gonna, can you get out can you get out, do I have to come in. No, you do that, wait period. I don't know, it's also really great to watch them be able to pull up and crawl and roll and all of those things but we all wanted so desperately for them to do. Yes, but also it make us very tired, which is fine too. Yeah and I mean,
Kayla, let me ask you from a mom perspective,
I mean, when, when you have a child going through one of these new skills learning one of these things. What, what is your typical response or approach when sleep is disrupted like what do you try to do so. Thanks to you, and everything that I have learned being your best friend and supporting you and all of that.
My biggest thing has just been to give space, and to allow them to kind of figure it out, because just with any other thing that has to do with independence sleeping, there's a learning curve, and there's an independence. And so, letting them kind of figure it out,
guide and not always be the person that's
coming in constantly trying to fix everything, than the biggest key honestly for all of sleeping but especially as they learn new skills.
Yeah, I'm a big fan of giving space to I mean, as much as you can and, and not to say that you can't go in and comfort if they're having a hard time, but when they're learning something new.
It can be easy to fall into those habits of like, all of a sudden, helping them to sleep where you didn't before or doing extra things to get them to sleep that you didn't need to do before. You know, I would say, a lot of times I hear from moms like, you know,
they were in there they were crawling around they were happy, but it was nap time and I didn't want them to get overtired,
so I just went in and rock them to sleep. And I think my approach to that is like, Oh no, don't, don't do that especially if they're happy like don't disrupt that let them get that practice out, they will sleep when they're ready because you've given them the tools to do so but don't feel like you have to, okay it's nap time and if they're not asleep in 10 minutes, I have to go in and make them sleep. I think that's kind of a common pitfall. Around this time, yes.
Okay, so just to like kind of recap, we kind of are saying, if they're not upset, give them the space. And then also, you kind of started to hit on giving them an opportunity to practice these skills before, get these little kiddos tired.
Yes, to give them plenty of time and space to work on it during awake time so that it doesn't feel so novel, when they're in their crib, you know, if they are, for some reason being held constantly all awake time or they just don't have much time down on the floor playing, then when you put them in their crib and they're free, it's like, Oh, it's this novel thing I haven't been free all day.
Now I'm going to practice this skill
so I mean, and that that really applies for whether you're going through a disruption or not you want to be giving them space on the floor to play, to work on those skills as they're ready to, yeah, and then to kind of, since you were kind of recapping kale, I think, you know, the next step is. Okay, so what if my child's in there, and they're unhappy.
So like for example the rolling one is huge, where a baby can now roll, so they roll from back to belly, they get on their belly, and they're mad about it or they kind of get a little stuck there, you know, or it can happen with pulling up to stand if they're newly doing that, they'll pull up to stand and just wail and maybe they're stuck there maybe they're not but they're just like standing up, you know, kind of calling for you. Yeah. Which is, nobody likes that that's not fun.
I feel like the pulling up to stay and milestone also tends to correspond a lot with separation anxiety
with that like first bout around eight, nine months. And so the combination of them pulling up to stand and calling for you because they don't want you to leave like it just hurts your heart. It does and we are we have on our list to talk about separation anxiety at a later time but you know with those skills where they're working on them, and they're upset. Navigating new skills and sleep I think it's always okay to go in and comfort. We just want to try to not Russian right we don't want our instinct to ever be that we have to Russian.
And then we want to just be curious about how little can I help them, and then be okay and then be able to fall asleep, instead of rushing you know straight towards that, you know, number one thing that you know oh if I do that they'll be asleep within a minute, right, right, so don't start any new habits that you're not willing to continue, basically, which is like a huge part of sleep training just in general, but, like, a good reminder especially when these new skills come in.
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I think this is an important time to just remind parents especially first time parents back to bed, but if they can roll it is okay that they're on their belly. I know that it is very, very anxiety inducing when you see your kid roll on your belly and you're like no no no you're not, you're not. Yes, they can roll, they are okay.
Yes, I'm so glad you said that because it is just drilled into our brains back for sleeping and that is very important in those early months before they can roll like we know that back sleeping greatly reduces the risk of SIDS, but once they can roll, even if they can roll back to belly, but they can't get from belly to back, they have still shown that they have the strength to be there on their tummy, and as long as they're getting there.
It's okay and and another thing Navigating new skills and sleep I hear a lot of parents when, when a baby will start rolling, they'll be like, well they're laying like facedown on the mattress like I have to go move them. And as long as your sleep space is clear and free like there's nothing in their crib with them, there's nothing they can get tangled on, they are okay, yes, even if they are laying face down on the mattress because the baby mattresses are created to not conform to their face that's why a firm mattress is important.
That's why, you know, we typically don't recommend adult beds because they are not firm, they are squishy and have give, but that crib will not conform to their mouth and so even as painful as it is to see them lay like that.
They're okay if they got there themselves, and then while we're on the topic of safe sleep and new skills. Let's talk a minute about mesh bumpers, when new skills are happening. Honestly a lot of them rolling crawling, pulling up to sand, I mean any kind of gymnastics. So along with that can come, bumping their head into the crib. And, you know, them getting a limb kind of stuck out between the slats like those things just naturally happen as they become more mobile.
And so a lot of times, the question comes, how do I keep that from happening, you know, and that's where things like bumpers come in, and I guess my biggest advice would be don't add bumpers, they're not considered safe, even the mesh ones are not considered safe, because they have not been tested vigorously with your crib, like the crib itself and the mattress has been so I don't recommend those.
Navigating new skills and sleep
I'm sad I just say, let's be patient. Let's give them time to figure out, you know, the limits of their crib and if they bump their head or if they get a leg stuck out, we can always go in and help them. Another good thing for this if it's happening, try a sleep sack, it's not like a completely, you know it's not going to solve the problem 100% But it can help. If you notice they're getting a leg stuck in a crib slat.
Navigating new skills and sleep
The other thing I would say too and this one may be harder to do but if you are feeling like sleep is just really disrupted or if you have a little one who's constantly getting stuck, even though you've given them time, they you know maybe it's been weeks that it's been going on, you can always opt to use a pack and play for a temporary amount of time or permanently honest idea.
Yeah, because the sides are mash and so they can't get a limb stuck, and if they bump their head against the side it's not quite like bumping their head against the side of the crib bars so that's always an option, a pack and play is the safe, you know, sleep approved space, and while some families wouldn't use them or wouldn't consider using them long term other families use them almost exclusively for sleep and it's, there's no problem there.
So at this point I want to point you guys to my Instagram profile where I have several highlights about various topics but one specifically is called new skills and I go much more in depth about the rolling the crawling the standing, so if you are in one of those spaces right now where you're dealing with a new skill you're not really sure how to handle it what to do, head to that highlight called new skills that will be really helpful for you. and then I know we also talked a little about safe sleep and if you have any questions or concerns about safe sleep.
I have a blog that I will link in the show notes as well and you guys always know you can send me a DM send me an email let me know if you have questions or concerns about that because we do, we do believe that safe sleep is important and so I just want to make sure everyone has the resources they need for that.