Starting to sleep training may feel like the next right step. But if you're not ready... it's not going to be pretty. I'm going to walk you through my sleep training readiness checklist so you know if you're ready for this big transition. But before we jump into this readiness checklist, let's talk about what reasons you would have for wanting to sleep train in the first place.

WHY you might choose to sleep train

The number one reason that I see people wanting to sleep train is that their current sleep habits are unsustainable. Maybe your child needs to be bounced 50 times on the yoga ball before they fall asleep. And you know you cannot continue doing that day after day, month after month, etc. That may very well be a reason to sleep train for you.

Another reason that you may choose to Sleep Train is if you know your child is suffering. They're just not getting the sleep they need and they are struggling as a result.

Another very valid reason may be that your child is content and happy but you yourself are struggling. You are not getting the sleep you need and you are not able to be the parent you want to be. Again, this is a very valid reason to choose sleep training.

Sometimes children are resisting the help that you are providing to sleep. Maybe you've been nursing your child to sleep for months and months and it's been going great with no issues and now all of a sudden your child is resisting. Either they're not falling asleep or they are falling asleep but as soon as you try to transfer them, they're waking up. That may just be your child fighting this help to fall asleep. In cases like this, until we make this change and teach them to fall asleep on their own, they are going to continue to struggle. This would obviously be a very good reason to choose to sleep train too!

This last reason probably goes without saying but if you are experiencing lots of night wakings, early morning wakings, or short naps. Sleep training can absolutely help to improve those sleep issues.

So now that we've talked about why you might sleep train let's jump in to that readiness checklist:

#1 How old is your child?

Now contrary to popular opinion, there is not a magical age where you can suddenly sleep train. But the way that we handle sleep and the sleep training process is absolutely going to differ if we're talking about a newborn or a baby or a toddler or preschooler. So while I am not saying that you cannot sleep train a newborn, I am saying that we're going to approach it very, very differently.

And in fact, if we're talking about a newborn (anyone under the age of three to four months) we are going to be taking things very, very slow, and very gradual. It is all about just practice and exposure, but not expecting a ton out of our newborn. We're not going to do full-on hardcore sleep training with our newborns, but we absolutely can work towards better sleep habits from day one. In fact, I have a mini course all about how to set a healthy foundation like this from day 1!

If you were looking for official sleep training, and wanting to move a little quicker than a snail's pace, you will want your child to be above three to four months of age before you begin.

#2 How do you feel about your current sleep situation?

I mention this because sometimes parents feel like all this outside pressure to change their sleep situation. But really deep down inside, they don't want to change anything. And that's okay! Not everyone has to or needs to sleep train!

You only need to sleep train if you are unhappy or don't feel safe or don't feel comfortable with your current sleep situation. So do a little deep dive into what you really think. And if you are really ready or your family is really ready, then it may be time to sleep train

#3 How do you feel about your child expressing emotions about the changes you will be making

Okay, let's just say it! There is going to be crying during the process and that is just unavoidable. I'm not a big believer in the "no cry" sleep training options because I just don't know many children that that would actually work with. I feel like it's more of a marketing ploy. It is normal and natural for your child to be frustrated with any type of change you're making, whether we're talking about sleep or otherwise, and the way they express their frustration is usually through crying.

So how do you feel about that? Are you comfortable with that?

When I work with families, I use a range of methods to help them learn to sleep on their own. Some methods they use may be very hands on (in the room the whole time, comforting the whole time) while other methods may be more hands off (leave the room and then come back and check in and leave again). So there's a range here of how you can respond. But none of these options are going to guarantee that your child won't have emotions and that they won't express them. You need to do a little digging about how you feel when it comes to emotions and decide if that's a deal breaker for you.

#4 Are you on the same page as your partner?

If you have a partner, you need to be on the same page before beginning. When you're going through this process, it is going to be a process that is not going to be easy breezy and you need someone who is going to support you. Someone who is on your team and helping you stick with your plan.

If you have someone instead who is undermining you or who just doesn't understand what you're trying to do then you need to get them on board beforehand. It is very hard to make these big changes if you don't have that support.

Sit down and have a 1:1 chat with them about what you are struggling with and how you feel. And let me tell you a trick. If your partner is not currently involved in the sleep process (if they're not handling most of the night wakings, if they're not handling most of the naps) AND they're against sleep training, pull them in to help more. After they realize what you are dealing with on a daily basis and they walk a mile in your shoes, they will be much more open to talking. So have that heart to heart.

#5 Are you ready for it to get a little bit worse before it gets better?

I know this may be a very tough pill to swallow because right now you're thinking, "Can it get worse than it is right now? It's terrible." But yes, it is temporarily going to get worse as you start the sleep training process. It will get infinitely better when you get through it.

If you just don't have the bandwidth right now to deal with that, maybe this is an especially stressful time at work or maybe you have another child at home that is struggling, that's okay. You can always revisit later when you have more time and energy to sleep train. But just knowing that it will get worse before it gets better helps you be more prepared for the process.

#6 Are you ready to devote a chunk of time to the sleep training process?

It is not going to be over within a day or two. Unless you have a magical unicorn baby (most of us don't).

You need to have two weeks minimum set aside to make these changes. Maybe it goes a lot quicker than two weeks. That would be great. But if it doesn't, we need to be prepared. You want to be able to make your child's schedule your number one priority for this period of time. And you want to be able to have them in their ideal environment as much as possible during that two week time. We don't want to be gone for a bunch of appointments or traveling or having visitors over (who may not be supportive of your sleep training process). Look at your schedule. See where you can mark out two weeks or as close to two weeks as possible to address these changes.

Feeling overwhelmed?

Now if you feel like you might be ready to start but you're feeling really overwhelmed about where you can even begin... Here is a link to my scheduler so we can talk through your situation and see if we'd make a good fit to work together.