Let’s play a little game: 1 Truth and 1 Lie!
- When you sleep train, your baby just learns to shut down. ❌
- Shutdown syndrome is not real. ✅
If you’ve heard the term “shutdown syndrome,” you’re not alone. Many parents fear that sleep training will lead to their babies emotionally “shutting down.” That they'll only stop crying in their crib because they think no one is ever coming. However, I’m here to tell you that this misconception couldn’t be further from the truth!
Understanding sleep training
The reality is that when you sleep train, your baby isn’t “shutting down” at all. Instead, they are learning a crucial skill—how to self-settle and fall asleep independently. This process can involve tears as your baby learns this new skill, but crying is a natural part of mastering something unfamiliar. Of course they are going to have some feelings about you making sleep changes and crying is simply their way of expressing themselves. With the right approach to sleep training, you're not causing emotional harm; rather, you’re helping your baby learn how to soothe themselves in a healthy and supportive way.
Why shutdown syndrome is a myth
Let’s break down the idea of “shutdown syndrome” further. If this phenomenon were real, we wouldn’t observe sleep-trained babies engaging in typical behaviors like:
- Calling for their parents during the daytime: Sleep-trained babies still seek their parents when they need comfort, attention, or simply a playmate. If they were truly “shut down,” they wouldn’t signal for their parents at all.
- Waking and signaling for necessary night feeds: Many sleep-trained infants still wake during the night for feeds when needed. If they had given up hope that their cries would elicit a response, they would likely stop communicating their needs altogether.
- Experiencing sleep regressions: Sleep regressions are a common part of a baby’s development. They may struggle to fall asleep and stay asleep during growth spurts or developmental milestones, but this behavior shows that they are still very much engaged with their surroundings and learning.
In fact, any mom of a sleep-trained child will attest that the scenarios mentioned above continue to occur even after successful sleep training! This demonstrates that the emotional connection between parent and child remains intact and that the baby is not shutting down but rather developing autonomy. For more nerdy science and research about sleep training, check out this blog where I cite several sources.
The benefits of sleep training
Instead of worrying about “shutdown syndrome,” focus on the incredible gift you’re giving your baby: the ability to regulate their own sleep! This skill will not only help them sleep better but also contribute to their overall emotional well-being as they grow.
Sleep training can feel daunting at first, but with the right tools and mindset, it becomes a positive experience for both you and your baby. They will learn that it's okay to express their feelings while also mastering the skills needed to fall asleep independently.
Ready to get started?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of sleep training, fear not! My Sleep Coaching Crash Course is designed to provide you with straightforward, effective strategies to help you navigate this process confidently. Together, we’ll make sleep training a positive experience for both you and your little one, setting the foundation for healthier sleep habits that last a lifetime.
Remember, your baby’s sleep journey is a learning experience for both of you, and with the right support, you can help them thrive!
Want to work more on your relationship with tears?
Check out my 3 Day Free Crying Challenge here and be sure to check out my other blog post (and YouTube video) about crying here. If you are ready to work with a professional to help you make sustainable sleep changes for your little one... Here is a link to my scheduler so we can talk through your situation and see if we'd make a good fit to work together!