Wondering why bedtime battles happen? If you’re negotiating with your child at bedtime every night, I’ve got some tough love for you…

You are the problem. Not your child.

I know, that stings a little. But hear me out—because the good news is, that means you also have the power to fix it.

 

Why negotiating at bedtime makes sleep harder

If you’ve ever found yourself saying:

❌ “I just couldn’t convince her to let me leave the room.”
❌ “He wouldn’t listen when I said it was bedtime.”
❌ “She kept asking for just one more book, one more sip of water, one more hug…”

…then bedtime has turned into a debate in your house. And that debate? That’s the real source of your sleep struggles.

Kids thrive on consistency. But when bedtime is a nightly negotiation, the message they’re getting isn’t “this is our bedtime routine,” it’s “I have to push and push to see if I can get more.”

So how do we fix this? By taking the negotiation out of bedtime completely. Here’s how:

 

Move bedtime to an age-appropriate time

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is pushing bedtime later and later, hoping it will make things easier. But here’s the truth:

A too-late bedtime leads to an overtired child, which leads to more resistance, more stalling, and more frustration for everyone.

Making sure bedtime is early enough (based on your child’s age and daily naptime) will set you up for success before you even start the routine.

 

Stick to the exact same bedtime routine—every. single. night.

Repetition is key. Your bedtime routine should be predictable and consistent, so your child knows exactly what to expect.

✔️ Keep it short (30 minutes max)
✔️ Follow the same steps in the same order
✔️ Make a bedtime chart if needed

The more consistent you are, the less pushback you’ll get. Eventually, your child will stop trying to test the limits because they’ll know you aren’t budging.

 

When it’s lights out, it’s lights out

This is where a lot of parents struggle. The routine is done, but then your child starts pulling out all the stops…

🚨 “Just one more story!”
🚨 “I need another hug!”
🚨 “I’m thirsty!”
🚨 “I have to go potty again!”

The second you engage in this back-and-forth, you’re reinforcing the idea that bedtime is up for negotiation. Instead, you have to make it clear:

⏳ The bedtime routine is over.
💡 The lights are out.
🚪 You’re leaving the room.

And once that happens, you’re done responding. No extra stories, no extra snacks, no extra attention.

The show is over if there’s no audience—so stop being the audience. 🤷‍♀️

Pssst! Need a little extra help with this one? Download my free sample scripts to end bedtime stalling here.

 

Validate feelings, but hold the boundary

Your child might not like bedtime. They might cry, yell, or protest. And that’s okay! Their feelings are valid.

But validating feelings doesn’t mean changing the boundary. You can acknowledge their frustration while still holding firm.

✔️ “I know you really want to keep playing, but sleep time is here.”

✔️ “You’re feeling upset, and I understand. But it’s time for bed.”

✔️ “Snuggle time is over for tonight. We can snuggle as much as you want in the morning though.”

✔️ “It’s hard when things don’t go the way we want, but our bodies need rest.”

No negotiating. No debating. Just a calm, confident response—and then, bedtime stays bedtime.

 

Imagine a bedtime without battles…

No more “just five more minutes.”
No more “one more story.”
No more endless back-and-forth.

It is possible. And if bedtime is a struggle in your house, I can help.

If you’re looking for additional tips and resources to tackle bedtime struggles, check out my Toddler & Preschooler Sleep Resources here and find my various free and paid resources designed specifically for children aged 2 to 5. Together, we can sort out those sleep woes and get your family back on track for peaceful nights!