Spoiler alert, I don't believe in sleep secrets! Okay, well, I wish that I could just hand you a magic wand and you would magically have a great sleeper. It just doesn't work that way. However, I do believe that there are some foundational puzzle pieces that are very important if we're wanting to improve sleep. So in this blog, I'm going to walk you through the four puzzle pieces that I take all of my 1:1 clients through, because they are that important and that foundational.

Now I like to look at sleep as kind of one big puzzle. When I'm helping families troubleshoot their issues, I'm looking at each piece of the puzzle. Is everything in place? It's great to have a piece here or a piece there. But the magic comes from when you put all the pieces together at once and you get that full picture working towards better sleep. So without further ado, let's dive into these four puzzle pieces that we're going to talk through.

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Puzzle piece #1 for better baby sleep

The very first one is sleep environment. And if you have followed me for any length of time, you know, this is something I harp on. I can get a little annoying, like a broken record. But sleep environment is truly so so important. And I have seen it be so transformational when families are struggling with sleep. Sometimes all it takes is getting that sleep environment ideal and many of their sleep problems just go away. Now, I'm not saying that's going to happen for every family, but I've seen it happen enough that I want to make sure that you have these two non-negotiables figured out.

The first non negotiable of your child's sleep environment is that it needs to be dark. I am talking very dark. I'm not just talking about at night. That room needs to be very dark initially at bedtime, which is going to be more challenging as we get into the summer months here in North America. It also needs to be very dark in the early morning and it needs to be dark at nap time. So if you are walking in your child's room and you are seeing light streaming in or you're able to make the shapes out, it's not dark enough for sleep. You'll need to find a way to make it darker.

Aluminum foil is a great option if you are looking for something cheap and inexpensive and something that you probably have in your home. I LOVE BlackoutEZ window covers if you're looking for something more permanent that looks a little bit nicer. Typically just your regular blackout curtains are not going to do the job because light is still going to sneak in around the edges.

The other non negotiable for sleep environment is white noise. White noise is a great buffer that keeps your child from being disturbed by noises in the house, noises outside, noises from siblings or pets. When we're in a light stage of sleep, it's possible that we hear noises and that pulls us out of sleep. Our brain is always processing stimuli. And if you don't have something masking those sounds, that can disrupt sleep. We also have studies that show us that we fall asleep quicker, we connect our sleep cycles better, and we just have better quality sleep when we sleep with white noise. I love Lectrofan for all your white noise needs!

Puzzle piece #2 for better baby sleep

The second puzzle piece that is very important is the timing of sleep. With this one we're looking at: when you're putting bedtime... is it too early? Is it too late? Is it all over the place? Does it correspond with your child's natural circadian rhythm? We're also looking at things like naps... are they taking the right number of naps for their age? Are they taking too many or too few? Are they awake the right amount of time between naps or are they under tired or overtired?

There's a balancing act going on when we're looking at timing of sleep. Here's a free resource that I have linked for you so you can check that out if you need more help on timing and how many naps for your child's age.

If we're trying to put down a child who's overtired, they're not going to go to sleep easier. In most cases, they're going to fight sleep more. If we're putting down a child who's under tired, they're going to fight sleep more too! So if you don't have that timing ideal that can be a lot of the reason behind the sleep issues you are experiencing.

At the same time, if our daytime schedule is off, that is directly connected to our nighttime sleep. A bad day schedule can absolutely cause more night wakings, more extended long wakings in the night, and early morning wake ups. It is all intimately connected (which is why we're talking about a puzzle here).

Puzzle piece #3 for better baby sleep

The third puzzle piece that can make a huge difference is independent sleep. By this I mean your child's ability to fall asleep without outside help without needing things that are outside of their own control. For example, this would be you being able to put your baby down awake and they drift off to sleep. Then that translates to them being able to settle themselves again at night or after a short nap. If they wake up and there's not a need like hunger or a diaper change, they're able to drift back to sleep themselves without having to signal to you. This also means they don't have to wait for you to come in and do your whole song and dance to get them back to sleep.

It also leads to longer naps because when they wake up after just one cycle (which is around 30 to 45 minutes) they're able to go back to sleep and connect and get those longer naps- which are amazing. In fact, studies show us that babies who are put down awake in their cribs and fall asleep on their own sleep longer. They wake less overnight, they take longer naps and in general they just get more sleep than their counterparts who are helped to sleep and then transferred.

I really like to just look at this as giving them a tool in their own toolbox so that they can regulate sleep themselves. This way they are not fully dependent on outside help from you or anyone else to get them to sleep. They have the tools to do that rather than waiting for someone to come and help them with that skill.

Puzzle piece #4 for better baby sleep

Now with puzzle piece #3, independent sleep can be hard to get to, especially if you're not really sure what you're doing. And that brings us to puzzle piece #4, which is having a plan that you feel confident in and that you feel comfortable with. I talk to many families on a daily basis who desperately want to be putting these puzzle pieces in order, but they just don't know where to start. They're overwhelmed by too much information. They see conflicting things online and they're just not sure where to turn.

Anytime that they may be have tried to change sleep, they end up getting mixed up and confused. They don't know how to handle certain situations. They don't feel confident that the effort they're putting in and the effort their baby is putting in is even making a difference. So they end up giving up and stop.  If you are going to be making sleep changes, you do not want to be making decisions in the middle of the night- which is the worst time. You don't want to be having to think through specifics.

This is where my sleep course comes into play. My Sleep Coaching Crash Course is geared toward 4-24 months. Within it I walk you through a plan that you can feel confident in and know that what you're doing is a proven system that works.  If you'd like me to quickly take you behind the scenes of my sleep course so you can see each of the modules that are included in it, head to this link and fast forward to the 8:40 mark. At the end of this video, I even give you a nice $15 discount off my course!