Yup, I'm saying it. Drowsy but awake doesn't work for most families. 🤷‍♀️

 

Right off the bat I know that there will be someone commenting that they successfully implemented drowsy but awake - and I'm happy for them! But after talking with thousands of parents, I can tell you it does NOT work for most little ones.

 

Let me explain why first:

 

Reason #1 drowsy but awake doesn't work:

Getting a baby drowsy and then transferring them to their sleep space is no easy feat! Most little ones will pop right awake and then lucky you! You get to start the whole ordeal all over again. How fun (not)!

 

Reason #2 drowsy but awake doesn't work:

I've also noticed that when repeated unsuccessful transfers happen, the child starts to anticipate and fight drowsiness. They are making the connection that once they let go and relax, you will set them down. They don't want this so they resist sleep even more. The opposite of what we want! 

 

Reason #3 drowsy but awake doesn't work:

The other issue with drowsy but awake is that it often doesn't fix the root problem. Maybe you can lay your little one down drowsy but does it help with frequent night wakings, early mornings, and short naps? Probably not. Your child will still need you to come get them to a drowsy state before they'll go back down.

 

Reason #4 drowsy but awake doesn't work:

Using drowsy but awake becomes less and less effective with age and alertness. It *can* be helpful in the newborn stage but after that it becomes more elusive. And eventually your baby becomes a toddler who becomes a preschooler and along the way it just stops working. These older kids will especially fight falling asleep because they are smart and if they decide they don't want to sleep, they know how to resist and stall.

 

Reason #5 drowsy but awake doesn't work:

Lastly, drowsy but awake is honestly just impossible to gauge! Seriously, what does it mean? What does it look like? I'd probably get 50 different answers if I asked this question. It's very very subjective which makes it difficult to use and implement.

 

 

So what do I recommend instead? Laying down *fully* awake!

 

Besides the fact that it's just way easier to even know what 'awake' means and looks like, there are several other reasons why it just makes sense- especially if you're struggling in the sleep department!

 

Reason #1 to lay down fully awake

It keeps your child from being jolted awake in a new place. Aka, it’s not a bait and switch. Imagine falling asleep in your bed and waking up on the kitchen floor... yikes! That's often how our children feel when we snuggle them to sleep and then they wake up all alone. This is really jarring and can make it even harder for them to fall back asleep.

 

Reason #2 to lay down fully awake

It gives your child the tools to connect their own sleep cycles. Listen up, we ALL have biologically normal night wakings. ALL of us! As adults, we've had lots of practice falling right back asleep when we wake. But our children may not have the tools to fall back asleep without signaling for help. By laying them down awake we are giving them the opportunity to hone these skills. This makes a HUGE difference when it comes to false starts at bedtime, unnecessary night wakings, early morning wake ups, and short naps.

 

Reason #3 to lay down fully awake

Getting drowsy becomes less effective over time. As children grow and develop, they can become harder to settle and put to sleep. It's also not unusual for your presence to become too stimulating for the process of falling asleep. A child who is resisting your help and fighting sleep is another reason to work on laying them down awake. If your “help” isn’t actually helping them, then maybe they are signaling to you that what you’re trying is not actually helpful.

 

 

As far as logistics go...

✨I recommend making sure baby is fully awake during the entire bedtime routine

✨Then lay them down at the right time and in the right sleep environment

✨Have a sleep coaching method you feel comfortable with and apply it while they adjust to the change!

 

Need a little more help navigating this recommendation?

First up, let me introduce you to my Sleep Coaching Crash Course. It's an affordable sleep course for overwhelmed moms who want to stop *stressing* about sleep and actually start sleeping again. This course is an online, self-paced course that teaches you all about how to sleep coach (and lay down awake) in the crib. It sets up a day-by-day plan for teaching independent sleep so you can stop second-guessing yourself every step of the way. This course is specifically geared towards 4-24 months. It's like having a trusted sleep expert right by your side.

 

Now, you might be thinking, I can purchase a course but will I actually have the confidence and motivation to follow through with it? If you feel like you'd benefit from more accountability and 1:1 support, that's where my 1:1 Consultations come in. These are designed specifically to give your the clear plan & calm support that you need as we work towards better sleep for your little one. I provide 3 different levels of phone & email support so you can choose the option that makes the most sense for your unique family. These consultations are a game-changer, trust me!